Dec 18

Canned ManClick for larger image

Duncan Comments: I’m starting to think this “tanning salon” looks a little suspicious.

Published 1955

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.67 out of 10)

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23 Responses to “The Stars Are Ours”

  1. Francis Boyle Says:

    Harvey Alert!

    (Apologies to anyone who is actually called ‘Harvey’ (and isn’t Harvey Weinstein). Have you considered changing your name to ‘Adolf’ instead?)

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    “It’s a little cocktail I like to call… the Rip-Snorter.”

  3. fred Says:

    Wonder who the other stars are besides Greer Garson.

  4. Ray P Says:

    If you take it out of its packaging it loses its mint condition status.

  5. Bibliomancer Says:

    @Francis – I think if cocktails are involved it’s called a “Cosby”. And he definitely did a “Spacey” on those guys in the back.

  6. Tom Noir Says:

    “I call it the Date Rape Machine. No, no, it’s just a funny name! Here, have a drink.”

  7. JuanPaul Says:

    “I wake up after 3 years in stasis and you think I want a Coors Light? Tell me you brought some better beer.”

  8. fred Says:

    The other book in this double is bland for an Ace Double cover.

  9. Anna T. Says:

    He’s dressed like he just came from a spacewalk. So why is she, entering or exiting stasis, wearing a strapless red dress?

    It’s a pulp novel. Why do we even need to ask that question? The answer should be obvious. (Because she has to be SEXY-ish.)

    Also, the glass of water? is suspicious.

  10. Raoul Says:

    @fred – I only see Two Faces of Time.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Raoul—you only see the third face after you’ve had the Rip-Snorter.

  12. Tom Noir Says:

    From the Three Faces of Time cover:

    “Someone is touching my butt!”

  13. Bibliomancer Says:

    “Here drink some of this elixir. We’ll have you out of that dress, er … pod in no time!”

  14. Tor Mented Says:

    Before I get out, fetch me a bathrobe. I think I ripped my snort.

  15. Tor Mented Says:

    @Raoul: I see three times: past, present and future, as well as scads of faces, including horse face.

  16. Tat Wood Says:

    Everyone’s seeing this as Professor McClaine taking people out of pods. My immediate reaction was that he was filling torpedoes with replicant 40s film stars and firing them at Hollywood from low Earth orbit so he could wrest control of the studios and, thereby, America.

    How else do you explain Reagan?

  17. Ray P Says:

    I have no explanation of Reagan. He demanded more Bedtime for Bonzo movies? “My name is Rea-KHAN.”

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The stars are ours, with bars in cars… where the drinks could be Cosby’d. Aargh.

    Greer’s rightly looking suspicious. The previous roofie must be wearing off, thus Doc Perv is eager to give her another one (And in the future, we have starships and stasis pods, but not contact lenses or LASIK?).

    Cosby roofies on this cover, Spacey butt-grabbing on the other side… it’s a Harvey double feature.

  19. Hammy Says:

    @Tat Wood (#16):

    AH! So *that’s* what Professor McClaine meant when he said “Just relax, Jo(e). Relax completely….” 😉

  20. Hammy Says:

    Hey, I just had a thought (it doesn’t happen very often, and I like to let people know about it when it does) —

    Can we combine “Tomorrow, The Stars”” and “The Stars Are Ours” and end up with “Tomorrow, The Stars Are Ours”?

    Tomorrow, the stars are ours.
    Today, not so much….

  21. Tor Mented Says:

    The stars will be ours tomorrow, tomorrow.
    It’s only a day awaaaaaay!

  22. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Where am I?”
    “In the future, dear. The refrigeration process worked.”
    “Oh… where are the others who got frozen with me?”
    “Sorry! Some jerk stored them standing upright, and their brains died.”

  23. A. R. Yngve Says:

    “Chapter 1:

    As she awoke from the slumber, she rip-snorted violently. A man dressed as a physician came to her assistance with a rip-snorting drink.

    “Please relax,” he said rip-snortingly. “You have come a long way.”

    “I only remember a rip-snorting earthquake…” she said dizzily.

    “Your civilization suffered a rip-snorting collapse ages ago. This, dear lady, is the year 2,840 R.A.D.!”


    “That’s ‘Rip-Snortingly Anno Domino’ in your language.”

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