Jun 12

You're in prison for your crimes against fashion!Click for larger image

Wendy Comments: Ladies, be sure you have the appropriate head size before your next boob job.

Enjoy the wraparound cover.

Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.05 out of 10)

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24 Responses to “Web of Wind”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Sophia Loren asks: “Are you going to play that thing or pose with it?”

  2. fred Says:

    I think she has other things for hire besides her stick sword.

  3. Longtime_lurker Says:

    Hard to work out what’s going on here. They appear to be in a dungeon, as shown by the guard at the left on the back cover, but Lady Gazongas is apparently about to wallop someone with that stick and the guy at right background is drawing a sword. There are other people lying on the floor. Maybe Lady G has just defended her honour with the stick? But what of the fellow with the sword? Is he about to cut someone else up? So many questions.
    Only other comment: just plain greed.

  4. jrdelirio Says:

    Wait, there’s (more than two) things going on here???

  5. JuanPaul Says:

    It looks like she just busted up a homeless shelter. She probably used the wooden leg of one of the shelter’s denizens.

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    What the hell is a “web of wind”?
    What does that even mean?

  7. Raoul Says:

    @Bibliomancer – Confucius says: when trapped in a web of wind, one must break wind.

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    No way that leather crotch armor doesn’t chafe. Might explain her expression.

  9. Tat Wood Says:

    She’s sworn revenge on the sorceress who gave her Kim Wilde’s tiny head on Brigitte Neilsen’s badly-dressed body. Revenge with a table-leg.

  10. Yoss Says:

    She looks to have a doppelgänger in the background.

  11. Anna T. Says:

    She’s posing for a medieval modelling shoot while a fight rage in the background, for “atmosphere”.

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Anna T— re: that pose, I think we need a “jaunty hip” tag. Maybe we have one?

  13. fred Says:

    I am sure the fleas gave her a standing ovation when she entered the cell.

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Haircut 100, Yeast Infection 300.

    This is definitely a fashion shoot, or a porn shoot, or a porny fashion shoot. It’s combining a soupcon of “homeless chic” with a base of “prison chic”. That’s definitely 80s hair, so there might be a music video happening too. She really wants to be the next Brigitte Nielsen (who Wiki tells me is pregnant right now! at 54!).

    Maybe the sorceress has shoulder pads in that striped robe/scarf thingy, this being the 80s. So her torso isn’t really that wide.

    Things we’ll never know:
    1) where she got that table leg
    2) how you can make a web out of wind
    3) who thought any of this was a good idea

  15. Frekle Says:

    Oh no! French cut outfits have made a comeback. I thought they were banished to the 80’s for eternity.

  16. Mellie M. Says:

    Her cape would be put to better use if it covered her front.

  17. JuanPaul Says:

    All the people on the cover seem like they are visiting from different books. Like, why is an 80’s jazzercise instructor hanging out with Hercules and Mary Magdalene?

  18. Francis Boyle Says:

    That’s strange. Breasts don’t usually cause me into burst into laughter.

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    But is the Web of Wind a Web of Intruige as well?

    I guess it’s intriguing (for values of intriguing that equal frightening) to wonder who was doing bad silicon implants in ye olde tymes.

    Maybe they’re a magical curse and she’s looking for someone to give her real bazongas back. Maybe she’s just beaten up all those men for laughing. Maybe she uses the stick as a cane so she doesn’t fall over from being so top-heavy.

    And why is the title of the prequel so much larger than the title of this book? At least “silver glass” is something I can picture.

    Egad. Just read the doggerel on the back cover. It’s not even a double entendre — it’s 1.5 entendres at the most.

    And the blurb mentions two women adventuring together — which one’s this and where’s the other one? Down right, not getting the prominence(s) on the cover she should?

  20. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    Apparently this is supposed to fe feminist sword-and-sorcery (eh?). One Goodreads reviewer found it a bit unbelievable that all the major characters are bi and keep hopping into bed with each other. If that cover is feminist I’m Germaine Greer.

  21. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Now is this the swordswoman or the sorceress [1]? In the Skimpy Dress Dimensions, it’s hard to tell from the outfit.

    [1] It’s not a sword, but I’m not sure if it’s a magic table leg either.

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: I think she’s the swordswoman, temporarily sans sword. She’s got faux fantasy “armor” on as befits the SDD.

    Either the sorceress isn’t there, or she’s the woman down right, who has a “gypsy”ish outfit, which might indicate magick.

  23. A.R.Yngve Says:

    A guy is standing behind that woman and his arms are sticking out through her cape. it’s an old gag…

  24. StevenLP Says:

    In her culture it is the throat that must be covered to preserve one’s modesty.

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