Nov 05

Flashing Punctuation!Click for larger image

Check out the snazzy wraparound cover

Alice Comments: Title looks like “Flashing Swords [curse word]”. Font problems?

Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.72 out of 10)

Tagged with:

21 Responses to “Flashing Swords! #5: Demons and Daggers”

  1. Francis Boyle Says:

    I think the demon has already seen his flashing . . .

    This had better be some sort of parody.

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    Everything about this screams “sauna”.

  3. fred Says:

    I see they have already fought the pants stealing demons, these ones will probably go after the tunics.

  4. Lillie Awesome Says:

    I see the flashing hero and heroine issue has been covered (heh), so I’ll just say that between a pair of columns is terrible pentangle feng shui. No wonder Scott Bakula and assymetrical Joan Baez conjured such crummy demons.

  5. Tat Wood Says:

    Gee thanks! Now I’m going to have this theme running around my head all day

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    “This is the best daemon birthday ever! Let me blow out my candles and get my wish!”

  7. JuanPaul Says:

    I never knew that summoning a demon required a pirate-shirt dance. I would have started summoning demons ages ago if I had known.

    I hope it goes something like this:

  8. Kendall Says:

    Nice legs! “Fleshing Swords,” amIright? 😉

  9. Anna T. Says:

    Not only is his sword stance terrible, but as I’m sure you’ve all noticed, he appears to have misplaced his trousers.

  10. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Did the artist really need to make the visual also of flashing, as Francis said in #1? I suppose it was just too obvious to pass up. I’m only surprised there wasn’t also Ting! to add to flashing.

    Alternate title: Flashing Swords !@#$, Streaking Swordsmen.

    Thighmaster might have stolen his sword from someone else. He’s definitely got the facial expression and stance of someone thinking “oooh, icky, go away!” Even though the demon looks to be trapped in the pentagram. Back up, you’ll be OK!
    It’d be a great costume for a Pride Parade, though.

    The woman on the back cover seems to know what she’s doing with the sword.
    It’d also be a great costume for a Pride Parade.

    (Honestly, I live near unto San Francisco. I watch the Pride Parade yearly.)

    @Lillie: heh!

    Demons, Daggers, and a World Without Trousers.

    @Tag: Doesn’t this deserve “no-pants dance”? If ever anything did.

  11. Tag Wizard Says:

    @GSSxN – Definitely the no pants dance but that isn’t quite a Ting!
    He needs to get that sword sharpened.

  12. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tag: Yes, I think the artist was having so much fun with no pants that he neglected to add the obviously-indicated-by-the-title Ting!

    Of all covers, this should have had Ting! Quite a missed opportunity. SO CLOSE. Not even one for the long-legged lady on the back.

    Ron Miller, we are disappoint, decades later.

  13. RachelJ Says:

    @GSS ex-noob. The demon’s right hand, resting on one of the attractively patterned columns, is *outside* the pentagram. Also Sir Look-no-trousers seems to have one foot partly inside it, which might render it ineffective as a barrier (depending on how magic is supposed to work). Also Lady Pantsless on the back cover is already being assailed by devil-bat-fish.

    A horrible tragedy in the making- but what did you expect from people who can’t even remember how to get dressed?

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @RachelJ: I bet Lady Pantsless is regretting bringing Sir Thighmaster along on this dungeon crawl.

    I can practically hear her thinking “the big dork obviously lied on his resume about being an expert in demon summoning and swordfighting… can’t even keep himself outside a pentagram… maybe I’ll let the happy demon eat him while I kill the batfish…!#5-ing idiot…”

    Lady P, while sans trousers, at least has high enough boots to cover most of her legs. Her tunic’s also properly belted; I think there’s a 50/50 chance she might at least have some bikini undies on.

    The first two of this series had Frazetta covers. Alas for the rest.

  15. Hammy Says:

    I don’t know what that red daemon is made of, but the fumes coming from it are sure making Sir Lost-his-pants recoil.

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Whew! I’m back. I’ll tell you the story of my escape someday, or maybe not. Meanwhile, a wonderful set of posts—and who knew the worst music video ever made was Finnish! And why am I not surprised?

    But I must point out, as I have so many times before, the fact that in Sir Drafty Thighs we once more see a lefty swordsman wearing his scabbard on the left side! And so once more I must ask—how does he draw the sword and get it into position without making the Daemon die from laughter? And don’t tell me that’s the dagger scabbard—it’s way too big for a dagger.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @BC: That adds some weight to my postulate that Sir Thighs swiped his sword from an actual swordsman. Doesn’t know how to wear it, doesn’t know how to use it, complete fail.

    Also, the Demon does seem to be laughing at Sir Thighs, so I think you’re right.

    Lady P is going to leave him a final, terrible Yelp review if she survives.

    (Did they ask you about the oil rubbed bronze during the Finnish video?)

  18. Bruce A Munro Says:

    My impression is that Nopants Man somehow failed to notice the demon until he was practically on top of it and this is a Yikes! flailing recoil. Probably new to the murderhobo lifestyle.

  19. Ryan D Says:

    The demon appears to be gazing fixedly at the Doofus Swordsman’s junk with rapt attention. The Lascivious Tongue Loll is on point for this supposition.

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Muppets of the Damned

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Don’t do what this poor fantasy sap did…
    Wear your pants – proudly!
    Listen to the MST3K gang’s inspiring hymn “Pants”:

Leave a Reply