Nov 06

No Barbarian, No Barbarian, you're the Barbarian!Click for larger image

WTF's in the corner?Click for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday Gnome Press Conan Special

Good Show Sir Comments: Before Frank Frazetta got a hold of him, 1950s Conan was a more happy-go-lucky, fun guy.

1. “Ha ha” [Nelson from The Simpsons voice]

2. “I’m the original Dick Blade!”

Published 1955, 1957

Thanks to Larry for the covers!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.55 out of 10)

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15 Responses to “Conan the Barbarian and The Return of Conan”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    1: “Biggus Dickus?! Bwahahahaha!!!”

    2: “That’ll teach you to mention Steve Reeves in my presence!”

  2. fred Says:

    1. Conan crossing the border into fabled Emsh, leaving the terrors of the Unknown Artists Institute far behind.

    2. He has a barbarian Hello Kitty shield.

  3. Francis Boyle Says:

    1. Oh sure! Just let Jesse Eisenberg ruin Conan too now.

    2. Dean Martin the Barbarian severely pissed off that the martini will not be invented for several thousand years.

  4. JuanPaul Says:

    1. “Hey look! They have a Hooters!”

    2. Bend at the knees, Conan!

  5. Tat Wood Says:

    The ‘before’ and ‘after’ pics of an unsuccessful audition for the role of Jolly Green Giant.

  6. Anna T. Says:

    When in doubt (for a cover design), rip off Ben-Hur.

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    1. Conan the Barbarian? Looks more like “Conan the Nicely Coiffed.”

    2. I can’t find a signature, but it looks like the work of the great Wallace Wood who did so many classic MAD magazine stories in the 1950s (Superduperman, Flesh Garden, etc.). I guess it takes a genuine master to figure out where to put the scabbards.

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    @B. Chiclitz – You beat me to it. Wallace Wood was doing MAD magazine in the 50s and Ed Emshwiller’s wife Carol Emshwiller did Spy vs Spy in MAD. I’m not sure if Ed Emsh did any MAD illustrations.

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    And don’t forget the great Will Elder

  10. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The first cover is way too genteel. Frazetta aside, it doesn’t correspond to the stories. C the B looks positively civilized! And “ha-ha!” is perfect (I worry about the dagger placement).

    It’s mighty bland and tame for Emsh, but so sayeth the signature.

    @BC: That art doesn’t need to be much goofier to be in MAD, does it?

    Put a ridiculous speech balloon in the empty space for Conan and it’s perfect — maybe use @fred’s Dean Martin/booze quip.

    I’m not sure what gives with the bald man down right, or the thingy above him. But the tear in the cover makes it look like there’s room for the thingy to also have a speech balloon.

  11. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women. And then to point and laugh.”

    @GSS, BC: Possibly that first pic was from the time Conan was the king of Aquilonia (pseudo-medieval France) in a couple of the original stories. I imagine the staff made sure he left the castle wearing more than a fur Depends.

  12. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “If you enjoyed this edition of CONAN THE BARBARIAN, you might also want to read our other Conan titles:

  13. Hammy Says:

    Is it just me, or do both of these Conanites look more than a little like Doug McClure?

  14. Tat Wood Says:

    @Hammy: no, I’m sure all three of you do.

    But now you’ve said it, I’m imagining the theme from ‘Barbary Coast’ accompanying the second cover.

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: but where’s The Shat, then?

    I miss opening credits with theme songs. Except the “Enterprise” theme song — that was always a dive for the remote to hit the mute button.

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