Nov 23

So, would you like to get dinner? ....why are you running away? Oh right, forgot I had a sword with me.Click for full image

OH OH OH! Let’s have a half naked man grasping his magic electrified sword around waist height. That sounds suggestive? Of course it is, he’s holding a sword right next to his baby maker. A ha ha ha. Don’t forget to overload the whole cover with text, a lot of text, in all shapes and sizes.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.85 out of 10)

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19 Responses to “Atlantis Unleashed”

  1. SI Says:

    Wow… I mean this really is an embodiment of everything bad.

    Good magic tattoo too.

  2. CSA Says:

    The magic tattoo is pretty cool. And by cool, i clearly mean gay.

    There is a disproportionate amount of text on the cover. There is also a disproportionate amount of buff dudes chest. Surely the ladies would like to see more of his face too? And maybe more of his weapon?

  3. little mi Says:

    I think I could live without more of the face really….or the weapon for that matter.

    I am totally blown away but the quote, however,…’fascinating, thrilling and deeply romantic’ and let’s not ignore ‘fabulous world-building and sexy romantic-adventure’…cor, well that’s me sold. Anything with that many adjectives must be good…right..

  4. Adam Heine Says:

    Atlantis… Is that what you call it?

  5. CSA Says:

    Its a bit of a strange nickname, perhaps the sequel is a bit more direct but alot less mystical “Meat Truncheon Unleashed”

    I have to say, this is one of the worst romantic fantasy covers just because of the overload of information on the cover. Surely all that crap is what the back of the book is for?

  6. Adam Roberts Says:

    As I recall (and I draw on my detailed knowledge of ancient myth in saying this) the problem the fabled city of Atlantis had was that it was leashed. They put a great big leash on it, and that was its, er, doom. So, unleashing it, is, eh, obviously going to, um. Ah.

    In sum: pork sword.

  7. Nix Says:

    It’s got a really big hilt too. It’s a shame someone has sunk his legs.

  8. JustinLeego Says:

    It’s because he’s a really big hilt with the ladies. A HA.

    Though the erect nipples were one tweak I could have done without.


  9. SI Says:

    Now come on guys. Obviously when Poseidon wanted warriors he didn’t want any old school boy he wanted a real man. With a shaved stomach…. and no armour… hmmm….

  10. Tom Noir Says:

    “Nipple Unleashed.”

  11. Tat Wood Says:

    The thumping great pull-quote and the author’s name obscure the inconvenient way the hunk’s legs and arse are turning to barley sugar. I hope he doesn’t dissolve in seawater.

  12. anon Says:

    The Warriors of Posedom.

  13. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Beefcake Unleashed

  14. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:


    Sir, your tattoo is perfed.

  15. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “He kissed her roughly on the lips. She recoiled in disgust: ‘Ewww! You taste like rotten seaweed!!'”

  16. anon Says:

    Umm, yeah… I think we saw in Seven what happens when you mix bladed weapons and pelvic thrusts..

  17. A.R.Yngve Says:

    It’s not such a big deal to “create an amazing and astonishing world”. You can do it on your own with Lego.

  18. Perry Armstrong Says:

    ♬ “Alyssa Day…
    And. All. Of. The. Night!”

  19. GSS noob Says:

    Is that a magic tattoo or magic scar?

    That font and its color are truly dreadful. And why so much text on the front? Why bother putting a half-naked man on the cover when you can barely see him? And what’s he standing in?

    But really. I want that title font abolished from the planet.

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