Feb 06

He won't be needing this 8-track player. I'll just help myself.Click for larger image

Alfred Comments: I’m so sorry. The sign said “In case of emergency break glass”. Are you OK?

Published 1963

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.80 out of 10)

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18 Responses to “The Secret of the Martian Moons”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    “I’d like to help, but these tanks only contain thirty seconds of oxygen each.”

  2. fred Says:

    The billing price on that glass was probably $10,000 a square mm.

  3. MakkaPakka Says:

    Behind you!!… a giant pool ball.

  4. Francis Boyle Says:

    (At the Time Travelling Book Co.) “Look, I indulged you on the Podkayne book but now you’re just taking the mickey. Go back and make Mars Red. And No, I’ve checked, Kim Stanley Robinson will not be writing a book titled Yellow Mars.”

  5. JuanPaul Says:

    I’m sure that swapping out the tanks with N20 seemed like a funny idea before the tragedy.

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    Apparently, if there is not enough oxygen available, heads expand to fill the size and shape of the bubble helmet.

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Hey Kids, it’s time for another episode of “The Raket and Skibet Show!” In today’s installment Raket and Skibet explore The Secret of the Martian Moons!

    Raket: Hey, you Skibet, why you are laying down on your face? [laughter] We have to do our explorations today!

    Skibet: Oh Raket, I think I’ve gotten too close to your Martian moons and the fume emanations have layed me low! [laughter, groans]

    Raket: There you are with joking at me again. It is not my moons we are here to explore, but those of Mars. I am thinking we are sharing the Universe with a hidden foe.

    Skibet: Is it a cunning foe?

    Raket: I have my suspicions, and we must confirm them. We are the explorers!

    Skibet: Is our cunning foe also a linguist? [ooohs and aahs]. But how can we explore? Our space car has no gas.

    Raket: Not to worry, Skibet. That’s where my moons can help us out. I am full of gas! [sfx; loud laughter]

    Skibet: Tell me about it, but do so only when facing in my direction! [laughter and applause]

    Will Raket and Skibet uncover the shocking truth? Will their oxygen run out before Raket’s gas attack is over? Tune in next time for “The Raket and Skibet Show!” [intro and outro music]

  8. Tor Mented Says:

    @B.C. Bravo.
    @Tag: Definitely needs a font problems tag for that difficult-to-read text at the bottom. It seems to say something about shorking truth?

  9. Tor Mented Says:

    Telling the kids to go play outside is never a good idea on Mars.

  10. fred Says:

    The odds of being a blue eyed redhead is 0.17%.

  11. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Francis Boyle: I think that’s supposed to be a yellow moon, with Mars in the background.

    @fred: unless you’re a Space Hero, in which case the odds go to 40%.

    I can’t quite tell: is that his teeth, or does he just have a glossy lower lip?

  12. GSS ex-noob Says:

    It IS Martian week.

    @FB: hee.

    @B’mancer: He does have a large and oddly-shaped noggin, doesn’t he?

    @Tor: Looks like “shortling with” on my screen. Bad font, no space biscuit.

    @Bruce: At least 40% back in the Golden/Pulp Age. And I can’t tell either.

    @BC: GSS! Good to see Raket and Skibet’s wacky adventures back again. applause The music is particularly good.

  13. Bruce A Munro Says:

    If that’s Phobos, makes sense for it to be yellow.

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “He is dead, face smashed against the helmet, and there is no trace of blood! What mystery is this??”

  15. Tracy Says:

    What cunning foes! Throwing a rock through a mars-rover window… NOT!

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tracy: Oh no! How will our Earthmen — equipped only with interplanetary rockets, life-support systems, and fancy vehicles — ever be able to deal with a foe so cunning they’ve mastered rock-throwing?! Man is dooooomed!

    (Maybe try sending Earthwomen?)

  17. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “Send bigger rocks!”

  18. Monty Says:

    @tag, once again, “just so much yellow” 🙂

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