Apr 24

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Good Show Sir Comments: In the future we will genetically engineer nipples away. But only on women!

Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.56 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “Genetic Bomb”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    I didn’t know you could dance to air guitar.

  2. fred Says:

    I’m sure they are just high on life.

  3. Tat Wood Says:

    It’s a 70s version of ‘The Little Prince’.

    The cosmic secret that will destroy their world is that for an asteroid about a kilometre across to retain enough atmosphere for that sort of activity it has to be dense and massive – and will therefore be pulling that moon towards it unless both are about to run into that black hole.

    Oh, and the black hole’s sending out hard X rays so they’ll be dead long before they meet the event horizon.

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    Too many moons! Too many suns! At least three of each. The eclipsed sun isn’t casting any shadows so there is a pair of suns illuminating the cloned sister-wives of the “man of the future”. “Artistic Bomb”

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @GSS—in the future, the genetically engineered non-papillial women be given those swell medallions as compensation. He’s wishing he had the chance to make that trade.

  6. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Indulging in my obsessive frustration with lazy blurb writers, I ask—where the fuck is “beyond the stars” anyway?

  7. Ray P Says:

    @Chiclitz And is there a battle happening beyond the stars?

  8. JuanPaul Says:

    They’re rockin’ out to ‘Black Hole Sun’.

  9. GSS ex-noob Says:

    He’s got one nipple, and I can’t tell if the woman far left has any. Perhaps there’s a general nipple shortage in the future, and you have to earn them to get your genetic nipple engineering? Either this scenario or @GSS Admin’s might explain the lack of papillial organs.

    I see this cover features the “Seizure Sans” or “Astigmatism Sans” font, before we even get to the title on fire.

    @BC: My thought exactly. Perhaps they’ve just fallen through that black hole, therefore being out of our universe somewhere and thus beyond the stars.

    This would explain the excess moons, flamin’ hot planet, partial city, and odd lighting that @B’mancer complained of.

    @Tat: I hope you don’t mind I inverted your logical black hole scenario (which sounds very rude and painful). In yours, they’re writhing in agony from the radiation, I suppose?

    @THX, @Ray P, @JP: heh.

    It will come as no surprise to those who didn’t already know that Offutt wrote a LOT of porn. Like, startlingly high amounts, enough for an NYT article.

  10. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “Oh, god! I already have one growing out of my back, and it looks like I have Sexy Clone fallout on my arm, too!”

    @B. Chiclitz: intergalactic space?

    @Tat Wood: gravity falls off as a square of the ratio of distance from the center of a body to the distance to the surface of the body from it’s center, so the gravity of a 1 mile diameter planet would fall off quite fast with distance. (Someone let me know if I’m wrong, my physics are rusty)

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @BAM—I won’t judge your physics, since mine are no doubt worse, but with respect to language, “intergalactic” means “between galaxies,” not “beyond.” I thought by definition there is no “beyond.” Drawing upon what physics I’ve picked up from Bibliomancer over the years, space itself depends on the presence of matter, since matter is just a warp in space. So beyond the point where the last piece of matter, presumably a star, lies, there would be, literally, nothing. Hardly a place for “high adventure” at any rate.

  12. Bruce A Munro Says:

    I think the warping of space by matter means that unless the universe is genuinely infinite, no matter how far you went you’d (after however many billions or trillions of years) get back to where you started anyway. Intergalactic space is as _close_ to beyond the stars as you can get – stars are pretty thinly scattered outside of galaxies. But I concede the point that it’s a poor turn of phrase (Even if a “beyond” existed and was reachable, what does this universe beyond stars and their accompanying planets consist of? Pancakes? Teacups?)

    Really, it only makes sense in the geocentric universes with celestial spheres and such.

  13. Bibliomancer Says:

    I’ve changed my cosmological beliefs over the years. I now think that blurb should read “beyond the farthest turtle”.

    But the real confusion here isn’t the location of stars or intergalactic space. It’s what do you mean by “beyond”. Then you will also know what they are really selling at Bed Bath and Beyond.

  14. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @[email protected]—This exchange is why the time I spend here continues, after lo these many years, to be the best part of my day. Now I am heading off to Bed Bath and Beyond to buy an intergalactic griddle to whip up my next batch of high adventure pancakes. GSS!

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @B’mancer: I don’t see any turtles, so they are Beyond those for sure.

    The first time I saw a Bed Bath and Beyond (before they became ubiquitous), my friends and I made a lot of fun of it. What, exactly, did one furnish Beyond with? Apparently, naked people and random clip art.

    (At the time, we surmised there was a door to Narnia, which would have been much more wholesome, and what sort of housewares would talking animals want, anyway?)

  16. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    “I think my new Axe spray is working on these girls.”

  17. anon Says:

    Draw Nude Offer
    J.C. Butt Berry
    Naked man and his harem try to dance under the hot butter float.
    How the tough Scots’ soft chests create stars is very weird.

  18. A. R. Yngve Says:

    I thought the name “D. Bruce Berry” sounded familiar, and yes – it’s for real, no joke, the same guy who worked as inker on Jack Kirby’s “Kamandi” comics in the 1970s.

  19. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @ARY—Thanks for revivifying this cover. It was great to reread this thread. I still don’t know where “beyond the stars” is, but my Bed Bath and Beyond account is doing just fine.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    They don’t appear to have any Bed or Bath.

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