Apr 30

Never let the missus pick out your cosplay outfitClick for larger image

Nathan Comments: Embarrassed by the look of the main characters, the stegosaurus quietly sneaked away.

Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.55 out of 10)

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18 Responses to “The Quicksilver Screen”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    “First with the news! The reports that matter! With the best news wankers – er, sorry, news anchors…”

  2. Francis Boyle Says:

    Janitor Man – the superhero with the easiest costume change routine ever.

  3. B. Chiclitz Says:

    This isn’t just any old Quicksilver Screen, it’s The *Don H. DeBrandt* Quicksilver Screen.

  4. B. Chiclitz Says:

    The stegosaurus is, like, “Man I’m outta here. Ridiculous outfits, jaunty hips, and the blandest blurb I’ve ever read. Where are the Dick Blade covers?”

  5. Francis Boyle Says:

    Alas BC, not every day can be a Dick Blade Day but when it is, it is indeed, a good day.

  6. fred Says:

    Superman can take a break, Tabloid Clark Kent and Lois Lane will handle this crisis with their superior reporting skills.

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    Hopeless in Seattle. This is obviously why the whole Grunge thing happened.

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    Get those robot arms akimbo or you can follow the dino-mite stage left.

  9. Bruce A Munro Says:

    I have this one! The protagonist does indeed have a glass [1] mohawk with a razor blade in it, but otherwise the cover just reeks of 1990s extruded science fiction art product. Blurb is not just bland but outright misleading: it seems to suggest interdimensional invasion, possibly involving robots and/or dinosaurs, but no, that’s not what happens.

    [1] Or is it clear plastic? Don’t remember, been a while…

  10. fred Says:

    Robotic Jar Jar Binks should be 300 ft tall and fighting Godzilla.

  11. GSS ex-noob Says:

    First thought: do we have a “jumpsuit” tag?

    I feel like doing a Stefon from SNL impression — this cover has EVERYTHING!

    I agree the dino is embarrassed to be on this cover, as well s/he should be. I’d slink off as well. I’m surprised this is from 1992, as I was thinking it was late 80’s.

    I kind of appreciate that the dude is dressed stupider than the damsel for once. I can see her getting approval for her outfit and the fact that she’s totally working it in cosplay situations, but he’s going to get laughed at no matter what year it is or where he’s at.

    The blurb would work today if you swap TV for Internet, and Russian malfeasance for alternate world.

    The top part is so text-heavy I’m surprised it didn’t fall over or crush the artwork. Extremely stupid Q, weird layout that @B.Chic noticed, and perhaps Mr. del Rey should have left Don undiscovered.

    The towers in left background — are they rotating restaurants? They’d seem to serve no other purpose. Every few minutes, you get a view of the giant TV, then the distant mountains, then the infinite blue plane.

  12. Ryan Says:

    That is a big TV, I will grant you that, but “Infinite Range”, really?

    Eventually the curvature of the earth will obscure the observer’s view, or someone’s dapper cape will flare up and block the screen.

    Also, I hope that the janitor’s onesie does incorporate the boots, as it seems to do. Putting that speed suit on in the morning must be a serious effort.

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Ryan: You’re quite right about the TV not being infinite range — it’s liable to become unwatchable even before the earth’s curvature comes into play.

    And I don’t see any way that the boots could be separate from the jumpsuit. You’re right, that’s an adult-size onesie, which leads to further speculation about what the cosplay’s for. The missus is definitely in charge here, as her jaunty hip proclaims.

  14. Monty Says:

    I’m gonna hold out and hope these characters are actually drawn as described in the book, born of a million cliches fed into an alien dimension until it became sentient.

  15. Hammy Says:

    @GSS-xn & Ryan,

    And here I thought that the tower that forty-‘leven-foot widescreen is on was actually a robot, so it could *walk* the TV so it would have an Infinite Range….

  16. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Video killed the radio star.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Hammy: now I’m beginning to wonder if it’s actually a video screen. The line of blue spheres appear to be going through it. Or perhaps the spheres are about to smash into it as they approach, meaning it will show an Infinite Range of the background, visible through the empty frame.

    @Monty: maybe the alternate world is Comic-Con. Lots of giant TV screens, goofy cosplay, and a promo for the next Jurassic World movie.

  18. anon Says:

    Odd Brand Then
    Link’s EverQuester Chic
    Internet gamers’ vapid style became all the rage at Defence Force. Trainees’ fun new radio and TV drama on it, War on Frier Scat, won at Finning Tii.

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