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Dec 03

Burn the cover, burn it!Click for full image

Imagine this. The cover of the book, on the cover of the book.. wait for it .. being struck by lightning and going on fire! Don’t worry about drawing another cover on the cover that’s on the cover.With this we will blow peoples minds.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.35 out of 10)
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17 Responses to “Freezeframes”

  1. little mi Says:

    Wow! this is like so, totally, deep. Or somthing.

    If it wasn’t for the burning book thing then this really would have been an ok cover. Some people just don’t know when to leave well alone.

  2. Adam Roberts Says:

    The title spacing has gone a bit wonky, I think. It’s not FREEZEFRAMES, it’s FREE Z. EFRAMES! The reference is to Zac Eframes, the famous High School Musical actor, who’s imprisoned in the big shiny tower block, there.

  3. SI Says:

    Yea defiantly. I laughed for a good while at the ‘deepness’ of this one. Then actually choose to buy it for a quid.

    When I was up at the counter the guy asked me if I was into Kerr’s stuff. Thinking he was a fan I said not really and asked why. Apparently they had about 50 books sitting out the back that they can’t sell. I asked him if any of them had terrible covers that matched the one I was buying and he looked at me strangely, then walked away. He did not return.

  4. SI Says:

    The Eframes thing is pretty interesting but it has noted your knowledge of High School Musical Adam 😛

  5. CSA Says:

    Is that a spaceship under the Z?

    The lightning is clearly miles away, yet is it deliberately meant to suggest that its just struck the book?

    I cant help but think Kerr is subliminally suggesting you burn her book…

    (also Adam… I’m sure you have perfectly good reasons for knowing the names of Highschool Musical actors… no explaination necessary, but maybe Zac Eframes is trapped inside the book, and thats why Kerr is burning it?)

  6. Adam Roberts Says:

    “Adam… I’m sure you have perfectly good reasons for knowing the names of Highschool Musical actors….”

    The following statement explains everything: ‘I have an 8-year-old daughter.’

  7. CSA Says:

    well i DID say “no explaination necessary”! 😉

    but yes, that certainly does explain it. I’m sure you cringe a little every time Disney release another musical movie. Classics like Home Alone & Honey I shrunk the kids, just don’t make the cut anymore.

  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    OK, first: what I like about the cover is its colours. You can’t go wrong with red, black and orange. I like buildings’ silhouettes lit up with windows (anyone remember AfterDark for the Macintosh?). I like the distorted reflection of the foreground building, phallic though it may be. And, perhaps in deference to CSA, I like the spaceship in the background. It’s small. It’s subtle. It makes me wonder what kind of a world is to be met inside.

    The big problem I have is that THERE’S FIRE JUMPING FROM THE BACKGROUND HILLSIDE TO THE BOOK’S COVER. THAT’S WEIRD. That’s surreal on a cover that doesn’t need surreality to succeed. I don’t need there to be another (partial) copy of the book flopping around extreme foreground center. And I don’t need to be burning. I’m going to be a petulant child and not read that book. I won’t. I won’t.

    I can only assume Shima Scott and Morex Zysign make their appearance in this tome. According to Publisher’s Weekly, “Kerr’s latest opens in the heart of the Haight-Ashbury drug scene of the late 1960s and follows the women of one family for five generations…The narrative also includes a coup by the religious right and aliens from outer space who convert to Catholicism.”

  9. fred Says:

    Don’t mess with book critic Ben Franklin.

  10. JJYoyo Says:

    With apologies to J Geils – well, no, I didn’t care for the song back in the day:

    I could tell it was a first draft cover
    Slow motion sales can get me down
    Then slick recursion got me wound
    There were some defects to be found
    Snapshot lightning froze without a sound

    Freeze frames, freeze frames
    Freeze frames, freeze frames
    (Etc for seemingly ever)

  11. fred Says:

    I’m sure there is a hidden message in either the pattern of lit windows or the dark spaces.

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    An obvious link exists between Canary Wharf and book-burnng zealots but Ruper Murdoch may well come after us if we say more.

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @JJYoyo: That song started up in my head the first time I saw this page. And again today.

    @fred: Maybe the message is “help, I’m trapped in a bad cover art factory”.

  14. JJYoyo Says:

    @ fred: any bets the message is “do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Incinerate however is just fine. “
    @ Tat: I worked in Canary Wharf in the old days, when the only way in and out to civilization was a highly unreliable DLR. Now I cannot unsee that !”
    @ GSSxN: I apologize profusely.

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @JJYoyo: no need to apologize, it were the title itself that earwormed me, not you!

  16. Emster Says:

    @JJYoyo: I also enjoyed your version and, like @GSSxN, I was humming the dratted tune as soon as I saw the cover.

    Show of hands how many of us grew up with Mad Magazine musical parodies? Or Weird Al fans? So many pop tunes we can mess with as well as mocking sf covers. Win and win!

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Emster: My brother and I used to sing the Mad parodies around the house. And I’ve seen Weird Al in concert twice. And I even have friends who are filkers.

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