Jul 04

Her wheels are in the shopClick for larger image

Tor Mented Comments: Conan learned the hard way that you shouldn’t say “I’ll be a monkey’s uncle” while stabbing a wizard.

Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.23 out of 10)

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23 Responses to “The Virgin & the Wheels”

  1. Tom Noir Says:

    Admins, I think you accidentally reposted the previous cover! Either that or I’ve taken too many pills again.

  2. fred Says:

    I think having virgin in the title is a highly optimistic assertion.

  3. MakkaPakka Says:

    You tease us with these enticing tags!

  4. Tag Wizard Says:

    @Tom Noir – Cover looks OK to me. Check your medicine cabinet.

    (Doesn’t your comment look a little silly now?)

  5. fred Says:

    Full wrap around.

  6. THX 1139 Says:

    This is what you get if you call a monkey an ape (and an ape a monkey). Touchy!

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    So if Fred’s link is to be believed, whatever she’s looking at is something worse than a barrel of scuba-pirate-monkeys with scimitars and too bizarre for this cover.

    Maybe her parents have walked in.

  8. Anna T. Says:

    Wow. No wonder she looks rather disturbed and like she wants clothes pronto.

  9. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Are the sheep on vacation?

    So they’re advanced enough to develop scuba packs, but not guns. I guess their civilization is just very focused on old Cousteau specials.

    The cover seems to be a bit much for the guy in the ragged shirt: he seems to be having a bit of a breakdown.

    Is it just bad perspective, or is the one coming out of the door hobbit-sized?

  10. Tag Wizard Says:

    @Bruce – The sheep got invited to an American barbecue. They were very excited. But they are late returning and I am getting worried.

  11. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    I was on here earlier today and know for a fact the cover has since been changed. You can’t keep the space sheep over our eyes Tag Wizard! The GSS truther movement will grow in strength and your conspiracy to discredit Tom Noir and cover up “the event” will one day be exposed for all the world to know. You can fool all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time…

    And the book cover is all wrong, all the figures and parts of a large ship are crammed into a tiny space they couldn’t possibly fit into at the same time – obviously faked. (don’t try telling me photoshop didn’t exist in 1976)

  12. THX 1139 Says:

    @Verylate: It’s OK, they just did Flashback Friday a day early. And flashed back to the previous day.

  13. Tag Wizard Says:

    @Verylate – Got screenshots? No? Never happened!

  14. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    You’re laughing now, but I swear on my tinfoil hat – one day…

    And I know “Tag Wizard” is your official rank in the Illuminati – think you can hide in plain sight?

  15. THX 1139 Says:

    Is this book the sleazy spin-off from Chorlton and the Wheelies?

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    There are some things boggling on this cover, but I do not think they are minds.
    Love the conspiracies—I’m certain Bibliomancer has all the answers, but, strangely, there’s no Bibliomancer post today. Coincidence?

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I’ve read this, but with a different cover. One you could read in public.

    Tweet Jane’s comment on the Twitter sums it up well. But she really is a virgin — a teetotaling missionary. And, sorry to say, this is actually a perfect illustration of a scene in the book. (She marries Conan-ape!) The titular (heh) virgin isn’t this girl.

    Is Space Sheep American and taking the day off? He won’t be back till after the fireworks show.

    “The Wheels of If” is the more interesting of the two, so of course it can’t be on the cover when there’s an option for boobs and apes.

  18. Bibliomancer Says:

    All I have to say about today’s cover and comments is — too much monkey business!

  19. Tat Wood Says:

    I spent the whole of yesterday first trying to think who she reminded me of and then rummaging for a suitable quote from her lyrics. Then it hit me:

    If I only could, I’d make a deal with God; I’d get him to swap our places.

  20. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    @B. Chiclitz: And since your comment “Bibliomancer” has posted. Well, a post under Bibliomancers name, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.

    It’s all going to be covered in the soon to be (self) published:

    ‘Behind The Tag Wizards Curtain – Lifting the Sheep on the Good Show Sir Conspiracy and Exposing the Web Linking Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, the Bilderberg Group & the Build-a-Bear Workshop, David Icke, Pam Ayres, Aleister Crowley (in league with Russell Grant and Tommy Cooper), the Third Chuckle Brother, The Clangers and Bagpuss.’ (might need a snappier title)

    When published it will prove everything I say is true. If it fails to get published, that will also prove everything I say is true.

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @VLTTP: I just want to read the Bilderberg/Build-a-Bear chapter. The connection is right there in the names! Parents should know!

    @Tat: to note the obvious — she hasn’t got one of those.

  22. Tracy Says:

    Has no one else noticed the artist copped the girl from this Frank Frazetta painting?–egyptian-queen-frank-frazetta.jpg

    Also, disturbing, the kneeling figure in the right bottom corner of the cover seems to be giving a bj to the tiny pirate!

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tracy: if you’re gonna steal, steal good, I guess.

    As to your other observation, egads! And without using his hands.

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