Jul 03

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JuanPaul Comments: She’s the green sheened queen of the scene.

Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 3.14 out of 10)

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16 Responses to “The Carnelian Throne”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    Marina Sirtis IS She-Hulk!

  2. Francis Boyle Says:

    Is the crux of the universe located at her crotch, because that’s sure as hell what we’re all looking at. (Well, maybe a little higher but I don’t think anyone’s reached her eyes yet so it’s not there.)

  3. MakkaPakka Says:

    She’s got a handy place to keep her Shurikens.

  4. fred Says:

    I think the 13 year old who did the ‘Thuvia’ cover should have done this one.

  5. Bibliomancer Says:

    If you stare at the teat shields long enough they start spinning. In opposite directions.

  6. Anna T. Says:

    Are you sure she’s not just a pinup model doing a jungle-themed glamour shoot?

  7. JuanPaul Says:

    Well, I hope this isn’t as dissapointing as The Iron Throne.

  8. Tat Wood Says:

    Neither of the snakes seems especially interested in her. Maybe she smells of pond-weed.

  9. FluffyGhostKitten Says:

    Aren’t carnelians normally orange? I’m not advocating discriminating against the colorblind, but remember, that’s how we got a cartoon full of pink tribbles.

  10. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Where IS the crux of the universe? It’s infinite, it can’t have a middle.

    If the throne’s carnelian, is she going to clash with it, being all green with some blue highlights?

    Why are the scantily clad alien ladies always green?

    @THX: isn’t Shulkie usually more covered?

    @francis: ah, that answers my first question.

    @B’mancer: so they do.

    @FGK: my exact thought too! Maybe those are carnelians in her scabbard. Wonder if she chipped bits off the throne.

    The description on Goodreads sounds like a parody of fantasy blurbs. At least the latest edition’s got the color correct.

    I recommend “Michael”s review on that page. It’s a paragraph worthy of GSS — shan’t spoil it here. Don’t miss who he recommends it for.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Okay, another entry in the ongoing Book of Sword-Scabbard Arrangements. Here we see the scabbard on the proper side, and situated at a reasonable spot upon her hip, but, unless my eyes deceive me, it’s <facing the wrong way. Looking at the curvatures of scabbard and blade, you couldn’t snatch the sword out and have it in the position she’s holding it unless you took the time to reverse the blade. Usually not a winning move in a sword fight, especially if your opponent is aiming for the crux of your universe. UAI graduates intending to do the sword-scabbard thing need to take the advanced practicum where they actually don a sword and scabbard and, observing carefully, see what happens when they grab and pull the sword out.

  12. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @B. Chiclitz: really, it’s shocking how few fantasy and SF writers actually know how to use a sword. We should arrange to have them teleported to Barsoom so they can pick up some pointers.

    I have in my To Read pile of Antiquated SF a book entitled “The Carnelian[1] Cube”, and I wonder if there’s some sort of relationship. The cube seems to be some sort of magical doo-dad of substantial potency: perhaps the Carnelian Throne is made of Carnelian Cubes? Would explain why it’s important to the Fate of the Galaxy.

    [1] Blasted font, makes it look like camel-ian

  13. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    @Bruce A M: That’s because the pen is mightier…

  14. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Verylatetotheparty: Excessive concentration on what is mightiest can lead tp poor decision making. The fuel-air bomb is mightier than the toaster, but will make a real mess of your pop-tarts.

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: Sounds like a never-filmed Mythbusters episode. How far do the Pop-tarts have to be from the fuel-air bomb to be toasted properly but not burnt or disintegrated?

    (they tenderized steaks with explosives once)

  16. Tracy Says:

    I’m happy this author is no longer active.

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