Jul 15

The Phantom MenaceClick for larger image

Ryan Comments: Take that, Beardy!

Published 1972

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.89 out of 10)

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19 Responses to “The Slave Market of Mucar”

  1. Francis Boyle Says:

    Women in blue: Ooh hoo, it totally totally sucks to be a slave.
    Woman in Red: It’s not too bad if you’re down here and are a lesbian.

    So much for the sexism. I’m not touching the racism.

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    From a far-off time when a slave market meant a sexual fantasy – I prefer to think Phant’s just furious he’s ended up on this cover and is lashing out at the first person he sees.

  3. JuanPaul Says:

    Redhead: “you know, you’re going to regret that tramp stamp when you’re older”.

  4. fred Says:

    Don’t sell a fake virgin to The Phantom.

  5. Ryan Says:

    Roger Moore really disliked it when Peter Sellers dressed in a keffiyeh.

  6. Anna T. Says:


    I choose to believe the women in knockoff Slave Leia outfits are actually secret lovers, hence the longing look.

    Everything else… see the above comment.

  7. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Lee Falk, you’re gross.

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    And this punch I like to call “The Skull Cave”!

  9. Bibliomancer Says:

    It was 1972. Phantom not happy paying over a buck for a gallon of gas.

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    Fez’s are cool. Unless they’re worn by slave traders.

  11. Raoul Says:

    Sheikh-punching was quite a fad back then.

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Tired of serving as Andrew Wyeth’s secret model/mistress, Helga flees Pennsylvania to seek exotic adventures in far off lands, only to end up modeling for a picture much worse than any of Wyeth’s.

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    This guy’s no Billy Zane.

    If the women are just role-playing, like @Anna said, well… go on with your bad exhibitionist lesbian selves, ladies!

    Otherwise… while the art is technically okay, it’s a heap o’racism (esp. Orientalism), sexism, making light of human trafficking, Mighty Whitey (the Phantom is this trope) and all just ugh.

    @THX’s idea of Phantom punching everyone involved in this cover (except the damsels) is my head canon.

    GSS to:


    and a GSS plus snerk to @Ryan.

  14. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Bibliomancer: the oil embargo didn’t start till 1973. I’m afraid that’s just freestyle Oriental-punching.

  15. Bibliomancer Says:

    @Bruce – I hear that’s not a PC term. Looks like you got your own punch in.

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @B’mancer: In 1972 (and even now in deplorable areas) the non-PC term was “AY-rab punching”. Phant was simply a year ahead of his time here.

  17. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Bibliomancer – I was trying to cleverly reference “Orientalism.” Clearly not cleverly enough.

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Jokes aside, the Arab world really did practice slavery into modern times – and migrant workers in Saudi Arabia today are well known to suffer slavery-like conditions.

    That being said… what’s the Phantom doing about these human-rights abuses? Nothing!

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Yeah, punching one sheikh at a time isn’t going to do anything about systemic injustice.

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