Aug 19

I don't give a sheep anymore. Not worth it.Click for larger image

Tag Wizard Comments: I hear that feet are hard to draw. Especially for Jeff Jones. Don’t believe me? Click on his tag.

You might remember this from here.

Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.75 out of 10)

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34 Responses to “The Solarians”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    Left off the last line of the blurb: the words “THE END”.

  2. fred Says:

    Never read of them being called ‘solarians’ before today, and probably never will again.

  3. Francis Boyle Says:

    I’ll give the feet thing a pass. After all they’re not the most attractactive human feature (unless you’re into that sort of thing and if you are well just deal with it Quentin, I don’t need 36 shots of feet in one movie). But what’s Jeff Jones’ issue with mouths. Or is he just into very hairy women? Nah, probably just a women not being able to talk fetish.

  4. JuanPaul Says:

    Isolated from society and missing the trend towards skinny jeans, the Solarians continued to push the limits of bell bottoms for 300 years.

  5. Bibliomancer Says:

    Also, hands and faces are hard to draw. But tits are easy!

  6. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    Considered simply as a piece of art, it’s better than the first one. Still wouldn’t interest me in reading the book though. And neither cover gives me any sense of what the book is about.

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    @Juan Paul: Solar Flares?

  8. Tor Mented Says:

    There are so many complaints about obscured feet that I’m beginning to think this group is lack-toes intolerant.
    (Yeah, I just re-used that joke.)

  9. Ray P Says:

    Those skin-tight pants look painted on.

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    @TatW good show, sir

  11. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Three hundred years of wading around in muck with Jimmies stuck to your legs does strange things to a people.

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tor M—still funny, though, and since I never metatarsal I didn’t like, I say again GSS! 😉

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    “Hey, this book didn’t sell too well 9 years ago with a representative cover. Put a chick on it this time. Tits sell!”

    Wouldn’t it have been easier for Jeff to learn to draw feet — or at least shoes/boots — than to go to all the ridiculous lengths he did to hide them? Seriously, do click on his tag.

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I don’t think it was such a good idea to let Siri write cover blurbs. One can sense the complete “otherness” about them.

  15. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Her arms and face seem a different color from her torso. It would seem that she normally wears more clothes, although since I don’t know whether she tans yellow-pink or grey, I can’t be sure what sort of clothes.

  16. js Says:

    You people are idiots. Of course Jeff Jones could draw feet, as even the most casual search for images of his painting will show.

    Really, why don’t you and rest of the fanboy shits on this blog go back to arguing which character in some new CGI-ridden comic book movie is the most powerful?It’s not enough that modern mass culture has been pulled to your inane level, so you can get all the vapid movies you want, and all the tedious multi-volume fantasy shit series you want, but you have to obsessively revile anything in the past that didn’t pander to your “sense of wonder.” Well, you won. whatever possibility that SF might have taken it’s place as a form of actual literature was stepped on good and hard by the “fans”. Now we have hack military sf epics for the engineer types, SJW agitprop for the Mary Sues, and recycled elfen shit for everyone else. You won. So why not act like it?

  17. Tag Wizard Says:

    @js – Is that you, Jeff Jones? Let me check ISFDB to see if you’re still dead.

  18. DaveM Says:

    “It’s true you don’t see many dwarf women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they are often mistaken for dwarf men. Well, apart from the bustier ones that is.”

  19. Raoul Says:

    @Tag Wizard – This is why we can never have new friends visit.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Raoul: New friends visiting are fine. Bruce and myself were new visitors not so long ago, after all.

    It’s the uninformed drive-by pre-jargoned rants by those who are incapable of understanding the site’s purpose who are annoying.

    But at least we’ve got another entry in the “People who reacted worse than Harlan Ellison did” category.

  21. Tat Wood Says:

    @Tag Wizard, Raoul, GSS ex-noob: the sad irony is, it was Spinrad himself who coined the term ‘peeled eyeball covers’ for the ludicrous random luridness publishers slapped onto books on the grounds that ‘people who read that stuff have no discrimination’.

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: before or after this monstrosity was published?

  23. anon Says:

    Emperor Norr enjoys yehu, heel-length Three Wolf Moon tees, ether, cherub tear ale, heath mouse tea. He finds damsels tied to harps lathered with condiments profoundly tasty.

  24. Hammy Says:

    anon wins the comments yet again!

    Now I want to try cherub tear ale and/or heath mouse tea. Preferably the former.

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    anon has produced another great comment. It makes more sense than the picture, at least as a thematic whole. No-Shirt Alesa is definitely slathered with condiments and possibly tied to a harp.

    I’m rather surprised there aren’t heel-length Three Wolf Moon tees — seems they’d be logical as nightgowns/sleep shirts.

  26. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    Is it safe now, or is js going to come back?

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Vlttp: Maybe js is going to show up on today’s post since both Tag and I taunted him about Mr. Jones’ continuing inability to draw feet.

    We can try to get bingo on our “Hackneyed phrases used by humorless frothing internet trolls” cards if he does.

  28. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    @GSSxn: You could probably fill in a lot of your troll bingo card from js’s first comment.

    The rest of the internet frightens me, can I stay here?

  29. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Vlttp: I got triple bingo from his first comment – one more rant and I’d cover the card for sure.

    Yes. This is our happy place, where good fellowship and witty repartee rule.

    I actually went completely offline for a bit a while ago — except for here.

  30. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Vlttp, @GSSxn—I’m wondering if there are more than a few of us like-minded folks hanging out here, those who generally dislike the internets—I shun all social media—but find this site a magical mystery haven, an oasis of “good fellowship and witty repartee,” even when we’re being idiots (which may be the best thing of all)!

  31. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    @GSSXN, @BC: Definitely on to something there. I gave up “social media” entirely after the 2016 US election. The only other place on the net I hang out now is LibraryThing, and specifically the Green Dragon group there. Same vibe: “good fellowship and witty repartee,”, or basically what we call “Pub piffle”. (If you read SFF and aren’t in LibraryThing, you need to be. Come and join us.)

  32. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @L_L: I’ll look into it.

    I have (ugh) FB, but it’s locked down to only actual friends and relations, most of whom predate FB and I’ve met IRL. Like, people who I’ve been to their weddings, played with their children, etc.

    @BC: I found GSS via a comment on a friend’s blog (remember blogs?) and realized this was “The Usual Gang of Idiots” for me. I often LOL at comments here.

  33. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    I can honestly say I have never been on any social media, not even my work Instagram (I think) account, and this is the only place I post any comments on. After I submitted a cover there was no going back.

  34. GSS ex-noob Says:

    After I struggled through the entire archive there was no going back. And certainly no going back after I was in the re-creation of some of the covers and @Tag Wizard gave me my very own tag!

    You can’t leave a site once you’ve become content and a tag. It’s the law.

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