Aug 20

Earth hostages suddenly realize he's carrying a lube gun.Click for larger image

J Greely Comments: The sticker can’t be removed without tearing the cover, so we’ll never know how snug this Gray’s pants are. Probably for the best.

Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.80 out of 10)

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21 Responses to “Stellar Science Fiction Stories #4”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    It’s the only way the aliens can get the humans to watch their boring unboxing videos.

  2. Bibliomancer Says:

    Scientists have already proven this.

  3. fred Says:

    Space rope = space hemp = this cover.

  4. JuanPaul Says:

    “All right, which one of you is the real McCoy?”

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @ Bibliomancer—Thank you for the link to “THE WORLD’S ONLY RELIABLE NEWS.” It’s about time we had some good unvarnished truth. I was struck by the analytical depth of the breakdown of alien reports by percentages and all, but most intriguing was the final note that “The remaining 5 percent don’t fit into any categories.” This prompts two immediate questions, one philosophical, namely, wouldn’t “not fitting a category” itself then be a category? The other question is—what in the world could that 5% have seen?

  6. Anna T. Says:

    I have to say, this is the first alien hostage situation I’ve seen where the aliens are using human-made weapons.

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    @B. Chiclitz: it depends on whether you agree with Bertrand Russell or Jorge Luis Borges

    I’m more interested in whether the ‘aliens’ are Beavis and Butthead in masks.

  8. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @fred: there is something rather 1970s fake wood paneled station wagon about the interior of this spaceship.

    Given that in space nobody can hear you scream, why the gags? Were the humans being annoyingly loud and insulting?

  9. Adzel Says:

    I like the matching, color-coordinated collars featured in both the human and alien uniforms. Perhaps having this one thing in common will become a bridge to eventual peace in the galaxy.

  10. Bibliomancer Says:

    @BC – excellent analysis, as always. Obviously the 5% were so shaken by their experiences that they were unable to communicate what they had seen and were shut up in asylums.

    Speaking of which, here is a useful self-analysis tool that I think is just right for you!

  11. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I recognized this immediately and popped over to the SFBC bookcase.

    I am happy to report that the alien’s trousers are very loose.

    @Tat: I’m going with Russell on this question, and echoing your suspicions about the aliens’ true identity.

    @B’mancer: a friend of my brother’s used to work for the WWN. He was the family go-to man on all things Bat-boy. Later, he worked for a newspaper in Shanghai. He said the latter was much odder.

    @Bruce: have you MET our species? Of course they were being rude.

    @JP: GSS!

  12. Ryan Says:

    Come on:

  13. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer—The only one of those things I haven’t experienced is the on-camera wardrobe malfunction.

    @Tat W—I’m with Borges, all the way down. (BTW, GSS on the Beavis and Butthead.)

  14. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Tat Wood: the fact that the one with the gun has not already accidentally shot the controls, the windows,one of the hostages, or some combination of the foregoing is a rather strong argument against it being Beavis and Butthead, although I suppose the gun could be fake or unloaded.

  15. J Greely Says:

    “Dammit, Jim, I’m a doctor, not an escape artist!”


  16. Buster Says:

    And we thought if you could build inter-galactic spaceships you could have made something more advance than rope to tie your captives.

  17. Hammy Says:

    What’s unsettling to me are the aliens’ toothy grins – or are they just metallic Geraldo Rivera mustaches?

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Ryan: That’s why the humans are gagged, lest they sing Slim Whitman tunes!

    @Hammy: If you look at the one on the left, it’s clearly a metal mustache. They haven’t gotten the Capone’s vault video yet.

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The artwork illustrates the heist-in-space story “Ocean’s 11 Aliens”.

  20. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    @BAM #14….I think it’s a caulking gun. The little guy there just made sure that the windows are all sealed properly. Twenty percent of all heat loss in a home is due to improperly sealed windows….I think.

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @A-S: Sure looks like a caulking gun. Maybe the alien also caulked the humans’ mouths shut before tying on the bandannas.

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