Dec 05

Tarzan's been hitting the HGHClick for larger image

Lord Kelvin Comments: Jane’s looking a little knock-kneed.

Published 1951

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.64 out of 10)

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21 Responses to “Tarzan and the Jewels of Opar”

  1. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Me Tarzan, you need orthodontic shoes!”

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    “Now tell us where you keep the tapes of classic daytime TV! What?!”

  3. Francis Boyle Says:

    Yep, definitely painted by a 17 year-old boy. I hope he got paid and went on to discover how naked people work.

  4. JuanPaul Says:

    Oh man, you do not want to be the first person to pass out at one of Tarzan’s parties.

  5. Paul Says:

    Is she wearing Sting’s pants from Dune?

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    Jane’s judgment has been impaired ever since Tarzan rescued her from that tribe of headshrinkers.

  7. Tweet Jane Says:

    @ARY – Unless her teeth are drawn as poorly as her legs I think some orthotics are in order. 🙂

  8. Daniel Ramsey Says:

    Among many other issue, this scene looks like when I was playing with action figures as a kid, and was using several different kinds so none of the sizes matched up. Like if you had He-Man, Princess Leia, and a Micronaut.

  9. Ryan Says:

    She has to hold her hands in that awkward pose in order to keep those oversized bracelets from falling straight off.

    They would probably be better as necklaces, since they would fit nicely over her microcephalic head.

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    A Daisy air rifle and a utility belt full of bb’s is no match for Tarzan’s steely pecs. Now, since the bad guy has no hair, Tarzan considers scalping the goatee.

  11. Alice Says:

    Jane bought her tiara second-hand from the court jester.

  12. Tweet Jane Says:

    “Jane and Tarzan need to get stories straight. Cheetah pulled trigger!”

  13. Rick Deckard Says:

    Be careful with that knife Tarzan. Looks like you’ve already cut off your left-hand pinkie.

  14. Bruce A Munro Says:

    I think that’s probably Queen La of Opar, rather than Jane. And if you think she’s funny-looking, wait till you see the male Oparians.

    I’m not seeing any blood, on the dagger or under the body: perhaps he was carried off by sudden-onset scurvy? Or maybe baldy is just having a nice nap on a random floor-mattress (it seems a bit low for an altar) and Queen La is all “someone is sleeping in my bed!”

  15. fred Says:

    I suppose if Walter White dealt in psychedelics and not meth this would make perfect sense and probably win an Emmy for the individual ep.

  16. Tat Wood Says:

    “Tarzan not impressed by Lenin’s Tomb. Tarzan expect more bling.”

  17. B. Chiclitz Says:

    —Tarzan, how many times have I told you to stop borrowing my lipstick?

    —It look better on Tarzan than on you, tiny-head Jane!

    —Well, at least my thighs are longer than my calves, unlike yours.

  18. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    This would be yet another example of an artist who can’t draw feet, except they can’t really draw anything else either. I actually feel like it’s a bit cruel to make fun of it.

    (In case there’s an innuendo quota) That loincloth only just covers the Jewels of Opar.

    @Daniel Ramsey: At least the anatomy of each individual action figure would all be to the same scale, whereas here…

  19. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @VLTTP—”Jewels,” indeed. Don’t want to imagine the scale. GSS! 😉

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Tarzan say “What art quality you expect for 2s?”

    I think this is another case where everyone deserves a GSS! GSS with a tiny Ting! to @fred and @Tweet Jane.

    If we go with @Daniel’s premise, Queen La is an action figure with a MicroNaut head, and Tarzan is a He-Man knockoff with a Barbie ripoff’s head.

    If they had dollar/pound stores back then with generic toys, we’d know where the models came from. Only the prone guy seems to have articulation.

  21. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    @B.C 17: ‘Personally I thought you were the least convincing female impressionist since Tarzan went through Jane’s handbag and ate her lipstick…’

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