Dec 16

Leave this place, or I shall show you my genitals sir.Click for full image

Look, all I am saying is what good is a ‘warrior king’ unless he is the size of a building? A big building! If I was on a horse and in front of me was a massive magical warrior, glowing in the morning sun… Man, I’d run away back home and hide under my bed covers. That’s why we need this, we need it.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.41 out of 10)

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11 Responses to “The Warrior King”

  1. SI Says:

    Ah again it’s not that bad.

    It’s not so much the cover itself but when you think what’s on the cover it gets you. If you were on public transport you might go unnoticed until someone looked in detail. Then would probably point and laugh.

  2. little mi Says:

    I agree, this is more of a subtle one but once you look at it your realise it is a bit awful. Though from now on I shall be unimpressed by any warrior king under 100ft tall.

    By the way, does that quote really say ‘Slam-bang excitement’. I mean, seriously! Please tell me I’m reading it wrong!

  3. Simon Says:

    Yeah its not so bad but, (bizarrely for a book that features a GIANT warrior king) it kinda lacks focus.

    The GIANT warrior king would be a little more impressive if he didn’t look so much like a GIANT marionette puppet; ‘Papa! Look I got no strings to keep me down as I rampage across the countryside spreading mayhem and destruction’.

    And its that sort of fantasy artwork that is undoubtedly technically proficient, expert even, but which just leaves you feeling a little ‘Meh’.

    Still, I had nothing to do with it and that’s the important thing.

  4. CSA Says:

    from the focus of the giant warrior you would assume that he is a good mile from the horse in the forefront, so why, if he’s miles away, is the horse rearing in shock?
    Its like he’s just been heading in the direction towards the giant for a good 10mins and suddenly gone “holy crap! wtf is that thing im going towards?!?!” as if the 200m tall dude somehow sneaked up on him.

    MI: forget about the “Slam-bang excitement”… I just want to read the bit when the giant gets some “lusty action” with some unsuspecting tavern wench! … wait.. they’re probably the same thing come to think of it

  5. James Lovegrove Says:

    It’s a cover that says, “This is well worth £1.50 of anyone’s money, and the proceeds go to fighting cancer. C’mon, what kind of flinty-hearted cheapskate are you?”

  6. SI Says:

    Lusty action…ewww..

    Military Magic… What is military magic? Surely most magic in books is all magic fireballs and summoning dragons anyway.

  7. Adam Roberts Says:

    What that cover says to me is: ‘slume in the epic tale of empire and magic.’ To which I reply: ‘slume on in, cover-dude! Slume right on in!’

  8. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Michael Jackson’s heirs didn’t know what to do with some of his statues, and it cost too much to demolish them, so they just carted them off into the wilderness.

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Forget sans-serif, that’s an uncircumcised G!

  10. Anna T. Says:

    On top of looking like a puppet, the giant knight is holding his sword in a really awkward-looking position. Any fencing instructor would tell you that’s wrong.

  11. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Do you know why Europe is so littered with decrepit old kings? Because European kings were originally all SUPPOSED to be “warrior kings” — they were expected not to live beyond the age of fifty.

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