Feb 12

Bigfoot hopes to marry off his daughterClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Sorry for the e-book cover but, just like Bigfoot, we have been unable to photograph a copy in the wild.

Published 2014

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.88 out of 10)

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18 Responses to “The Little Boy Who Could Talk to Bigfoot”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    Dante’s in fur? No!

  2. fred Says:

    The way the kid is pointing and the smile on little bigfoot suggests a lot of possibilities.

  3. Ray P Says:

    I never realized Sasquatch went for adoption.

  4. JuanPaul Says:

    This is Dante’s 10th circle of hell; reserved for cryptozoologists doomed to an eternity of Dirty Sanchezes from Bigfoot’s little brother.

  5. Bibliomancer Says:

    The bastard offspring of your Nights with Sasquatch.

  6. Francis Boyle Says:

    Not good, but still more convincing than the film.

  7. Raoul Says:

    Let’s meet the author:

  8. Rick Deckard Says:

    Let’s meet the artist:

    Dakota Daetwiler

  9. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “The next day, Billy blabbed about Bigfoot to all his friends – and soon, the humans invaded the forest and shot Bigfoot and his family. The End.”

  10. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I guess fur is hard to draw too. Who knew?

  11. daard23 Says:

    BTW, Humboldt county, is the marijuana growing capital of California. I’m not saying everyone who lives there is high….but, you know.

  12. misterbob Says:

    By the look of that river – that is no little boy , but a giant boy with a big bigfoot .
    And i am pretty sure the artist is actually Bob Ross .

  13. Tor Mented Says:

    Is Bigfoot dropping a log?
    What part of California has a green sun? Maybe it’s the Humboldt County factor that daard23 mentioned.

  14. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I just realized that *anybody* can talk to Bigfoot. The question is, can Bigfoot talk to them?

    Little Boy: Hi Mr. Bigfoot. How are you and Little Bigfoot today? We had “Show and Tell in School. What did you do today?
    Bigfoot: Snurk
    LB: Snurk? What does that mean?
    BF: Gork
    LB: Gork? I don’t understand . . .
    BF: Smurffle, smrffle!
    LB: Now I’m really confused.

    (At that Bigfoot kicks the kid into the river)

    BF: C’mon Little Bigfoot, let’s go tease some campers.
    Little Big Foot: Chafuffle?
    BF: Watch your language, young man.

  15. Tat Wood Says:

    I like the subtitle: it’s like a docu-soap*. As a sequel to “Real Housewives of Orange County’ it would have the virtue of relative plausibility.

    (*The first ten minutes of’The Star Wars Holiday Special’ may well be the pilot for this.)

  16. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Gigantopithecus, who came over from Asia and then forgot how to fossilize, curiously turns out to agree on most issues with Dante P. Chelossi, Jr., in spite of their very different upbringing.

    @misterbob: Perspective is hard! Looking at the picture under the highest magnification, I think I can safely say Bob Ross was better than this.

    @Rick Deckard: working hard to keep thrift stores and garage sales stocked, I see.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I was going to chastise this submitter for breaking the rules regarding ebook covers, but then I saw it was from GSS itself, so. Not that I’m bitter, what with all my were-beings vs. the Mermaid Conspiracy finds being ineligible.

    Anyway, this is certainly GSS-worthy. The artist seems to have gotten a C- from the Bob Ross School of Happy Little Trees and Rocks (rounded up from a D because Bob was such a nice guy), but faces of humanoids, not so much. The font appears to be Ye Olde West Outhouse, but at least they stuck with one.

    Dad Bigfoot looks to be about 100 feet tall, presuming that’s a fully-grown coast redwood on the left. Which makes Jr. and Little Billy Overactor at least Attack of the 40 Foot Children.

    Or else there’s “perspective problems” with the river and waterfall, you decide. If not, then this is all second-growth and the creek’s full of dishwashing detergent.

    @B’mancer: GSS! Looks like Bigfoot didn’t want to keep the result.

    @Francis: true.

    @Raoul, @Rick: good finds!

    Clearly the author and possibly artist were partaking of Humboldt’s finest crop (would explain the perspective), and likely as a kid in 1982 when the movies came to town just north of there.

    (I typed that before reading both @daard and @Tat’s comments, and seeing the author video, see no reason to change this comment a bit.)

  18. Tag Wizard Says:

    @GSSXnoob – At this point those “rules” should be considered suggestions.

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