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Apr 21

So sue meClick for larger but still boring image

Tag Wizard Comments: This is the funniest cover I have left in the slush pile. So if you folks don’t start sending in some more terrible covers soon it’s all downhill from here.

Thanks to Anonymous for the cover. It figures.

Published 1953

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.50 out of 10)
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29 Responses to “Space Lawyer”

  1. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    Counsel: “Your Honour, I submit that this is the most boring SF cover ever.”
    His Honour: Zzzz-zzzz-zzzz–wha? Guilty as charged.. “.(goes back to sleep).

    Seriously, this may be better than its cover. There’s a review (https://gnomepress.me/2009/07/09/review-space-lawyer/) which says that it was a surprisingly good read, and contains this wonderful sentence: “Books these days seem to need to be so… for lack of a better term, meaningful. This one isn’t.”. (Fair enough, that was 2 sentences, but you get the point.) It will set you back $851 on Amazon if you can’t restrain yourself, but can be had for $25 or so in the UK.

    But that really is an awful cover, even for 1953. I have absolutely no idea what the round thing is supposed to be.

  2. Francis Boyle Says:

    The round thing is obviously an artisan woven basket for keeping spare planets in. Doesn’t everyone have one of those these days?

  3. fred Says:

    Theme song.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Haq6s3GqfHA

  4. Bruce A Munro Says:

    SPACE LAWYER in the Case of the Noodle Covered Planet

  5. THX 1139 Says:

    More like Space Launderette, am I right?

  6. A.R.Yngve Says:

    SPACE DONUT

    (They call me Captain Obvious!)

  7. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Space Lawyers? Yikes. No thanks, an acid-dripping Xenomorph would be less scary.

  8. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Sequels were:

    SPACE BARRISTER

    SPACE PROSECUTOR

    SPACE JURY

    and

    SPACE COURT STENOGRAPHER

  9. FrankN.Stein Says:

    Some people call me the Space Lawyer. Some call the the advocate of the Moon.

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    It’s a cross section of Scotch Egg…made with a Chinese Century Egg. Add a little expired HP sauce and wash it down with some flat ale.

  11. Tor Mented Says:

    The author should sue his parents for giving him a name that rhymes with acne.

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Interesting title that, Space Lawyer, I wonder what genre it falls under? Crime? Children’s Lit? Western? Romance? It’s a real puzzle. Oh, wait, I didn’t see the top of the cover. It’s “Science-Fiction.” Silly me. I should have been tipped off by the word “Lawyer” in the title?

  13. Bibliomancer Says:

    And written by a lawyer. Looking forward to reading about some action-packed Space Legal Battles. Mr Sulu, prepare to launch a countersuit!

  14. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “He’s perjured, Jim.”

  15. Bibliomancer Says:

    “He’s pled, Jim”

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Oh, Tag… you’ve literally asked for it, and I’ve just rearranged my photo files.

    HOWEVER!

    you haven’t used but one of the pics I sent in a couple years ago, hint hint.

    To me, this looks like a fancily-molded porcelain bowl, probably a shallow soup bowl. With a little French onion soup left in the bottom. And someone’s little brother is shooting projectiles in the form of spaceships across the table, and everyone’s going to get spanked and sent to bed without any supper, this being 1953.

    Or else a giant fancy soup bowl with a planet in.

    In any case, this is extreme WTF and boring at the same time.

    And we mostly think it looks like food. Perhaps painted by a literal starving artist?

    @fred: GSS!!! That couldn’t be more perfect. And by the original artist, even

    @ARY: And SPACE BAILIFF.

    @B’man: GSS.

  17. Tag Wizard Says:

    @GSSxN – Bring ’em on !

  18. Tat Wood Says:

    Rejected logo for Trump’s Space Force: building a wall around Earth proved too costly.

  19. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer—I have to appeal that comeback.

  20. THX 1139 Says:

    Better Call Poul?

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @THX: GSS! Not quite a rhyme but close enough and good enough.

    Mr. xn comments that Poul’s pal — Mr. Outstanding in His Field Gordy Dickson at least one lawyer-esque story “The Law-Twister Shorty”. Which takes place on the same planet as GSS fave “Spacepaw”.

    It’s all one big… something.

  22. Dr Bob Says:

    Artist: I lack inspiration for the planet in this picture.
    Artist’s partner: Darling, could you check if the washing machine has finished its cycle?
    Artist: Eureka!

  23. Ray P Says:

    Your honor, I object.

  24. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Objection sustained!

    We the jury find this cover WTF in the first degree.

  25. Hammy Says:

    I’m trying to reconcile the title “Space Lawyer” with the image of a demented bottle-nosed dolphin/porpoise (or is that a porpoise/octopus ‘centaur’?) glaring through a blurry submarine porthole.

  26. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Hammy: Maybe the lawyer is a space-going cetacean?

  27. Tat Wood Says:

    If you say ‘Space Lawyer’ over and over out loud it starts to sound like a Russian greeting. Perhaps the cover depicts a kind of blintz eaten on festive occasions.

  28. Hammy Says:

    @GSSx-n(#26):

    That would explain why he’s a lawyer – can you imagine the amount you’d have to pay for rocket fuel to lift a porpoise, a rocket ship and all the water needed to fill said rocket ship so the cetacean could live comfortably?

    The cost in reaction mass would be outrageous!

  29. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Hammy: I don’t know, but David Brin got a series of books out of it. Don’t think any of them were lawyers, though.

    I guess porpoise space lawyers of 1953 made big galactic bucks. Cue the music from comment #3.

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