Apr 21
Click for larger but still boring image
Tag Wizard Comments: This is the funniest cover I have left in the slush pile. So if you folks don’t start sending in some more terrible covers soon it’s all downhill from here.
Thanks to Anonymous for the cover. It figures.
Published 1953
(Average: 6.17 out of 10)
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(9.25 out of 10)
Lastest Tweet
April 21st, 2020 at 9:34 am
Counsel: “Your Honour, I submit that this is the most boring SF cover ever.”
His Honour: Zzzz-zzzz-zzzz–wha? Guilty as charged.. “.(goes back to sleep).
Seriously, this may be better than its cover. There’s a review (https://gnomepress.me/2009/07/09/review-space-lawyer/) which says that it was a surprisingly good read, and contains this wonderful sentence: “Books these days seem to need to be so… for lack of a better term, meaningful. This one isn’t.”. (Fair enough, that was 2 sentences, but you get the point.) It will set you back $851 on Amazon if you can’t restrain yourself, but can be had for $25 or so in the UK.
But that really is an awful cover, even for 1953. I have absolutely no idea what the round thing is supposed to be.
April 21st, 2020 at 10:10 am
The round thing is obviously an artisan woven basket for keeping spare planets in. Doesn’t everyone have one of those these days?
April 21st, 2020 at 10:16 am
Theme song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Haq6s3GqfHA
April 21st, 2020 at 10:22 am
SPACE LAWYER in the Case of the Noodle Covered Planet
April 21st, 2020 at 10:29 am
More like Space Launderette, am I right?
April 21st, 2020 at 11:10 am
SPACE DONUT
(They call me Captain Obvious!)
April 21st, 2020 at 11:12 am
Space Lawyers? Yikes. No thanks, an acid-dripping Xenomorph would be less scary.
April 21st, 2020 at 11:13 am
Sequels were:
SPACE BARRISTER
SPACE PROSECUTOR
SPACE JURY
and
SPACE COURT STENOGRAPHER
April 21st, 2020 at 1:54 pm
Some people call me the Space Lawyer. Some call the the advocate of the Moon.
April 21st, 2020 at 5:00 pm
It’s a cross section of Scotch Egg…made with a Chinese Century Egg. Add a little expired HP sauce and wash it down with some flat ale.
April 21st, 2020 at 5:28 pm
The author should sue his parents for giving him a name that rhymes with acne.
April 21st, 2020 at 6:20 pm
Interesting title that, Space Lawyer, I wonder what genre it falls under? Crime? Children’s Lit? Western? Romance? It’s a real puzzle. Oh, wait, I didn’t see the top of the cover. It’s “Science-Fiction.” Silly me. I should have been tipped off by the word “Lawyer” in the title?
April 21st, 2020 at 6:41 pm
And written by a lawyer. Looking forward to reading about some action-packed Space Legal Battles. Mr Sulu, prepare to launch a countersuit!
April 21st, 2020 at 8:08 pm
“He’s perjured, Jim.”
April 21st, 2020 at 9:21 pm
“He’s pled, Jim”
April 21st, 2020 at 10:35 pm
Oh, Tag… you’ve literally asked for it, and I’ve just rearranged my photo files.
HOWEVER!
you haven’t used but one of the pics I sent in a couple years ago, hint hint.
To me, this looks like a fancily-molded porcelain bowl, probably a shallow soup bowl. With a little French onion soup left in the bottom. And someone’s little brother is shooting projectiles in the form of spaceships across the table, and everyone’s going to get spanked and sent to bed without any supper, this being 1953.
Or else a giant fancy soup bowl with a planet in.
In any case, this is extreme WTF and boring at the same time.
And we mostly think it looks like food. Perhaps painted by a literal starving artist?
@fred: GSS!!! That couldn’t be more perfect. And by the original artist, even
@ARY: And SPACE BAILIFF.
@B’man: GSS.
April 21st, 2020 at 10:42 pm
@GSSxN – Bring ’em on !
April 22nd, 2020 at 3:10 am
Rejected logo for Trump’s Space Force: building a wall around Earth proved too costly.
April 22nd, 2020 at 5:16 am
@Bibliomancer—I have to appeal that comeback.
April 23rd, 2020 at 12:31 am
Better Call Poul?
April 23rd, 2020 at 3:49 am
@THX: GSS! Not quite a rhyme but close enough and good enough.
Mr. xn comments that Poul’s pal — Mr. Outstanding in His Field Gordy Dickson at least one lawyer-esque story “The Law-Twister Shorty”. Which takes place on the same planet as GSS fave “Spacepaw”.
It’s all one big… something.
April 23rd, 2020 at 9:07 am
Artist: I lack inspiration for the planet in this picture.
Artist’s partner: Darling, could you check if the washing machine has finished its cycle?
Artist: Eureka!
April 26th, 2020 at 12:59 am
Your honor, I object.
April 26th, 2020 at 4:56 am
Objection sustained!
We the jury find this cover WTF in the first degree.
April 30th, 2020 at 1:17 am
I’m trying to reconcile the title “Space Lawyer” with the image of a demented bottle-nosed dolphin/porpoise (or is that a porpoise/octopus ‘centaur’?) glaring through a blurry submarine porthole.
April 30th, 2020 at 7:32 am
@Hammy: Maybe the lawyer is a space-going cetacean?
April 30th, 2020 at 8:15 pm
If you say ‘Space Lawyer’ over and over out loud it starts to sound like a Russian greeting. Perhaps the cover depicts a kind of blintz eaten on festive occasions.
May 1st, 2020 at 4:26 am
@GSSx-n(#26):
That would explain why he’s a lawyer – can you imagine the amount you’d have to pay for rocket fuel to lift a porpoise, a rocket ship and all the water needed to fill said rocket ship so the cetacean could live comfortably?
The cost in reaction mass would be outrageous!
May 2nd, 2020 at 3:14 am
@Hammy: I don’t know, but David Brin got a series of books out of it. Don’t think any of them were lawyers, though.
I guess porpoise space lawyers of 1953 made big galactic bucks. Cue the music from comment #3.
January 5th, 2024 at 2:15 am
This is what Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law sees when he stares into his latte. In spaaaace……