Aug 19

Smack me over the head, Baen. Make me see double.Click for larger image

Xanthippe comments: Who am I supposed to be rooting for here?

Published 2006

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.70 out of 10)

Tagged with:

29 Responses to “Blackcollar: The Judas Solution”

  1. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Xanthippe: I think we’re supposed to be rooting for Snake Eyes: aside from the occasional SF comedy, I don’t think you usually have the protagonist getting his furry ass handed to him on the cover, especially not with such a goofy look on their rapidly tooth-decrementing face.

    The guy in back seems rather more concerned with shooting Snake Eyes than in the safety of his fellow furry: wouldn’t be firing a shot that, besides nearly hitting him, sprays molten metal over his legs otherwise.

    And speaking of legs, the artist seems to be having trouble with them. The more distant furry has fourth grade art level Running Legs, while in the case of the near one the impression gained is that after sketching and erasing a few times, the artist just gave up and decided to hide his errors with a bunch of random details and whirling superspeed nunchuks,

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    That guy in the back is the worst shot ever…

  3. THX 1139 Says:

    One ninja who can really… get your wet clothes dry.

  4. fred Says:

    Being BAEN, I had to GOOGLE to find out. There is no title in this series containing the word ‘Jezebel’.

  5. JuanPaul Says:

    Everyone on this cover seems to be struggling with the concept of ranged weapons.

  6. Tor Mented Says:

    Snake Eyes is so good that he knocks out teeth on the opposite side of the mouth from the side he hits.

  7. Daard23 Says:

    Personally, I’m rooting for the awesome font. Come on font, you can bevel some more! I believe in you!

  8. Francis Boyle Says:

    I’m rooting for the poor cordless drill that somehow got mixed up in this mess.

  9. mlouns Says:

    Font problems? This cover has Frame Rate problems!

  10. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I’m really glad Orson the cat isn’t on this cover.

    Nunchucks in SPAAAAAAAAACE!

    I trust no one had trouble ID’ing the publisher just from the title font even before theyygot to the ludicrous art.

    What works in comics to express motion doesn’t in this form. Helmet Dude’s left one looks like a tiny model helicopter; I actually thought it was some sort of Death Drone at first look.

    I’m not sure some of the guy’s arm/hand positions are anatomically feasible — but that’s okay as neither are his back muscles.

    This is all so awkward.

    @JuanPaul: Indeed. Why foreground furry didn’t shoot the guy is a mystery. Especially since he’s still holding onto the gun after the nunchuck attack.

  11. Ikari Gendo Says:

    Everybody here loves Snake Eyes. He brought his own fan club.

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Speaking of bad aim, ninjaman is way too close to hurl that shuriken. I think he’s about to stab himself in the head with it.

  13. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Please stop shaking the cover, I’m getting motion sickness… urgh…

  14. fred Says:

    I get more of a Ted Cord/Blue Beetle vibe rather than Snake Eyes from this cover.

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @fred: I risked motion sickness to look at this again, and I think Snake Eyes stole some of Blue Beetle’s (Ted version) costume.

    Also, I still think that nunchuck looks like a propeller blade. Maybe it’s one of Ted’s gadgets.

  16. Bruce A Munro Says:

    After just seeing the “Suicide Squad” movie, I’m identifying the aliens as weaselmen.

  17. fred Says:

    Weaselmen are rocking the Eddie Munster look.

  18. Emster Says:

    If there had been less singing and more fight scenes in “Cats”, mebbe I would have gone to see it. If I had to choose, I’d stay home and read this book.

  19. JJYoyo Says:

    The font is so awful I thought the title was “Blackadder”. Maybe the 9th series set in the year 2371.
    “Baldrick! Who gave you permission to turn into Chewbacca?”

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    “It’s a cunning plan, m’lud!”

    If they’re Blackadder and Baldrick, who’s in the background?

    This is almost “jazz hands”, but a bit too weird for that.

  21. Lars of Mars Says:

    I don’t know who that is in the background, but Blackadder’s line “If you’re going to wear that ridiculous leather jockstrap, at least keep your legs together!” Applies.

  22. JJYoyo Says:

    @GSSxN: The guy in the background must be Frank Finlay as “The Baensmeller Poursuivant”. Or Brian Blessed as Richard IV.

  23. Bruce A Munro Says:

    A plan where you lose your hat is a bad one.
    Also plans that end with you starring in a Baen cover illustration.

  24. Tat Wood Says:

    @ex-Noob: Special Guest Appearance by Rik Mayall as Flashheart

    (cue loud cheers)

  25. JJYoyo Says:

    @Tat Wood: FTW! GSS!

  26. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: GSS. Shut it down, you’ve won.

    (First runner-up: Bruce. Iz true.)

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @JJYoyo: Can’t be him. BRIAN BLESSED! is even louder than a Baen cover.

  28. JJYoyo Says:

    @GSSxN: you reminded me of Kurt Vonnegut’s shorthand foreshadowing via putting an asterisk after a character’s name within 5 pages of his or her death in *Breakfast of Champions* IIRC. I can no longer imagine spelling BRIAN BLESSED!’s name again without punctuation. GSS!

  29. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @JJYoyo: Can’t take credit, that spelling has been kicking around the internet for some years. But I too gravitated to it once I read it. And will take the kudos.

Leave a Reply