Sep 23

CoverfailClick for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: Are these guys dual-wielding or what?

Published 1967

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.67 out of 10)

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17 Responses to “Liafail”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    His tasteful cape has already staggered the modern world.

  2. Francis Boyle Says:

    The ship may stagger the ancient world but I don’t think figurehead woman is too impressed by the fact that she’ll be underwater when it’s launched.

  3. fred Says:

    Samothracians must average under 5′ tall for Tros the Samothracian legend who is Wandering but has stopped to challenge druids in order to build a staggering ship to be considered towering.

  4. Max Bathroom Says:

    The dangers of confusing Samothrace with Barsoom when booking your holidays are well known: if it wasn’t for Tros’ convenient cape that Druid would be laughing at his mighty sword.

  5. Ryan Says:

    Tros the Samothracian Wanderer appears to have consumed many flagons of wine to quench his mighty thirst from boat-building prior this encounter, based on his wobbly stance.

    Or perhaps the Druids have cast a spell of Inner Ear Confusion upon him, and it just appears to him that the world is staggered.

    But he obviously never skips Core Day.

  6. B. Chiclitz Says:

    The title should be Clarity Fail since it’s impossible to tell from the blurb who exactly is building that darn ship! Also, why would they want to stagger the ancient world? Wouldn’t they rather stagger the world they’re in?

  7. Bibliomancer Says:


  8. fred Says:

    Think I’m going to read this if I can find it.

  9. JuanPaul Says:

    I just noticed that the white behind the title is shaped like a sail with a little banner fluttering atop. Classy.

  10. Ryan Says:

    I guess we are all going to ignore the fact that the title, “Liafail”, is an anagram like the movie title “Tenet”.

    Unlike Tenet, however, it is not a movie where two groups move from the outside to the inside from either direction in time, TEN minutes apart.

    Instead, it is a ship, the center from which, in any direction that the sailor moves, will result in a FAIL.

  11. JuanPaul Says:

    @Ryan GSS

  12. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Never mind the ship, let’s have mass production of the tasteful cape. Plenty of ships exist, but so few capes that can preserve modesty like that. Just hope it”s also sword-proof. He’s already lost his nipples.

    I think the ship is going to stagger the world by being un-seaworthy. I’m no nautical expert, but isn’t it awfully deep as opposed to its width and possibly length? And the unimpressed figurehead belongs on a much bigger boat. FAIL indeed.

    The Druids aren’t going to have to do much to keep that from floating. Maybe the cape is animated by their magick and they want it back?

    Also, being as how he’s Greek and what’s now England was inhabited at the time by people speaking something much like Welsh, what’s his ship doing with a Gaelic name? A name, mind you, that’s given to a ROCK. Doesn’t bode well for the sea-worthiness.

    @fred: his sidekick is called “Conops”? That name is going to make all con-going fans snicker every time. I’m picturing people asking him about lost badges, if they’re allowed in the green room, and if they can get a gofer while he’s got a walkie-talkie on…

    (Also, that web page is by a Puppy sympathizer. Having attempted to read the crap they cheated onto the Hugo ballot, I’m not taking his word about quality.)

    @Ryan: GSS.

  13. Bruce A Munro Says:

    From Wikipedia: “Samothrace was not a state of any political significance in ancient Greece”. So, it’s like he’s from Hackensack or Luton or something.

    Clearly, the cover artist learned all he needed to know about Classical Greek dress from 19th century romanticists. (You know, the sort of people who thought Washington was best portrayed as wearing two towels. )

    Since according to that website he’s fighting to keep the Romans out of Britain I’m not sure why the Druids are against him – maybe he’s chopping down sacred trees to build his big boat? Those are some big timbers.

  14. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Ah, he clearly shops at the same store as Charon

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: Hackensack is at least close to an important city. Samothrace not so much.

    Tros of Cleveland!

    Good spotting on the art inspiration. It’s what TV Tropes calls “Ancient Grome”. (No don’t go there… you’ll lose the day!)

    Maybe he went to Britain the long way around via the Pacific Coast and those are old-growth redwood timbers?

  16. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Blurb, simplified:
    “A guy named Tros builds a boat. A bunch of druids disapprove.”

  17. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Guy in background: “Hey,Tros! Stop prancing around naked and help out with the goddamn boat!”

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