Aug 18

I'm too sexy for my shirtClick for larger image

Lord Kelvin Comments: He is so embarrassed to be seen with this pussy.

I meant the cat.

Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.75 out of 10)

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19 Responses to “Uncharted Stars”

  1. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Then he started a New Romantic band called Roxy Rocketships. They got big in Japan. The End.

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    Unfortunately it took him three hours to get dressed every morning, so the mutant cat got the treasure.

  3. fred Says:

    Han Solo, the Space Fashionista years.

  4. Dr Bob Says:

    With a mutant cat made into a pair of trousers…

  5. JuanPaul Says:

    Hey, look at that, his drapes match the carpet.

  6. fred Says:

    He’s Murdoc Jern, the cat is Eet.

  7. MakkaPakka Says:

    Are you sure you want to carry your crossbow like that?

  8. Tat Wood Says:

    Fake marble walls and hazard-tape – is he patrolling a condemned mall?

  9. fred Says:

    The locking mechanism for the crossbow string seems to be non-existent.

  10. Francis Boyle Says:


    I think this takes place in a world where the number one type of selfie death is accidents posing with crossbows.

  11. Bibliomancer Says:

    This cries out for a “puffy shirt” tag.

  12. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @THX 1139: like ogres and onions, he has _layers_.

    It’s not an ugly cover, but frankly, I think Tom Canty’s style is more suited to fantasy than science fiction. (Has anyone read the book and can tell me if he actually carries around a crossbow rather than a more SF-traditional ray gun? [1])

    [1] “Who brings a crossbow to a blaster fight?” – some space dude, probably.

  13. Tor Mented Says:

    I hate to be the one to ask, but someone has to — is his fly open?

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I guess “with a mutant cat on his shoulder” didn’t fit?

    I know I’ve read this book, though not recently, but I think I’d have remembered if the hero was wearing such a ridiculous shirt and… stuff. He’s a gem dealer, why aren’t there any gems on the cover to amp up the gaudiness? And I don’t remember the badly-aimed crossbow.

    This IS a “puffy shirt” as @B’man said. It personifies it. Or shirtifies it or something.

    @Tor: I think bits of his… shirt seems too tame… upper garment are trailing down, making it look that way.

  15. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I think his codpiece is smoking a cigar. At least I hope that’s what it’s doing.

  16. A. R. Yngve Says:

    “Don’t do it, man!! You’ve got so much to live for!! Put away that crossbow… gently!”

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @BC: If his codpiece is smoking a cigar, puddy tat isn’t the only mutant on this cover.

  18. Stephen Daugherty Says:

    “Help! Rats are attacking my pants!”

  19. Emster Says:

    Excited Publisher: Star Trek outfits are out, Seinfeld Puffy Shirts are in! Andre, this cover is going to make your latest book unforgettable!

    Ms. Norton: Ummm… okay I guess?

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