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Aug 18

I'm too sexy for my shirtClick for larger image

Lord Kelvin Comments: He is so embarrassed to be seen with this pussy.

I meant the cat.

Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.42 out of 10)
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21 Responses to “Uncharted Stars”

  1. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Then he started a New Romantic band called Roxy Rocketships. They got big in Japan. The End.

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    Unfortunately it took him three hours to get dressed every morning, so the mutant cat got the treasure.

  3. fred Says:

    Han Solo, the Space Fashionista years.

  4. Dr Bob Says:

    With a mutant cat made into a pair of trousers…

  5. JuanPaul Says:

    Hey, look at that, his drapes match the carpet.

  6. fred Says:

    He’s Murdoc Jern, the cat is Eet.

  7. MakkaPakka Says:

    Are you sure you want to carry your crossbow like that?

  8. Tat Wood Says:

    Fake marble walls and hazard-tape – is he patrolling a condemned mall?

  9. fred Says:

    The locking mechanism for the crossbow string seems to be non-existent.

  10. Francis Boyle Says:

    @MakkaPakka

    I think this takes place in a world where the number one type of selfie death is accidents posing with crossbows.

  11. Bibliomancer Says:

    This cries out for a “puffy shirt” tag.

  12. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @THX 1139: like ogres and onions, he has _layers_.

    It’s not an ugly cover, but frankly, I think Tom Canty’s style is more suited to fantasy than science fiction. (Has anyone read the book and can tell me if he actually carries around a crossbow rather than a more SF-traditional ray gun? [1])

    [1] “Who brings a crossbow to a blaster fight?” – some space dude, probably.

  13. Tor Mented Says:

    I hate to be the one to ask, but someone has to — is his fly open?

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I guess “with a mutant cat on his shoulder” didn’t fit?

    I know I’ve read this book, though not recently, but I think I’d have remembered if the hero was wearing such a ridiculous shirt and… stuff. He’s a gem dealer, why aren’t there any gems on the cover to amp up the gaudiness? And I don’t remember the badly-aimed crossbow.

    This IS a “puffy shirt” as @B’man said. It personifies it. Or shirtifies it or something.

    @Tor: I think bits of his… shirt seems too tame… upper garment are trailing down, making it look that way.

  15. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I think his codpiece is smoking a cigar. At least I hope that’s what it’s doing.

  16. A. R. Yngve Says:

    “Don’t do it, man!! You’ve got so much to live for!! Put away that crossbow… gently!”

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @BC: If his codpiece is smoking a cigar, puddy tat isn’t the only mutant on this cover.

  18. Stephen Daugherty Says:

    “Help! Rats are attacking my pants!”

  19. Emster Says:

    Excited Publisher: Star Trek outfits are out, Seinfeld Puffy Shirts are in! Andre, this cover is going to make your latest book unforgettable!

    Ms. Norton: Ummm… okay I guess?

  20. Hammy Says:

    It’s nice that there’s a platform in the vicinity of his left shoulder for the mutant cat, but it sure looks to me that the position of his left arm is saying that his left shoulder is *nowhere near* supporting the platform.

    Must be fastened on the inboard end and cantilevered out from there. It’s a good thing that whoever designed it has a grasp of civil engineering, though most likely on a different scale.

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Hammy: Either you’re right about the cantilevering, or kitty’s mutant power is levitation.

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