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Mar 31

'OK. Where's the pinata?''Click for larger image

Max Bathroom Comments: Nobody ever worries about the problems facing disabled superheroes…

Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.73 out of 10)
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20 Responses to “Candy Man”

  1. fred Says:

    But Sammy Davis Jr has one good eye.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsp35yn411A

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    I haven’t been this discomfited since Augustus Gloop went up the pipe.

  3. JuanPaul Says:

    *looks in mirror: “Candy Man, Candy Man, Candy Man…”

    *poof*

    “Who the hell are you?”

  4. Francis Boyle Says:

    Yeah, I imagine plenty of “candy” was consumed during the creation of this cover.

  5. Griz Says:

    Anorexia…. in spaaaaaaace

  6. Tor Mented Says:

    If you have a bunch of red-hot jets strapped near your delicate bits, then perhaps a blindfold is not a good idea.

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    I’m more worried about what Peter Cushing’s dog’s done on the triangular trees https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88BxYbgcUik https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rawG0waSWoM

  8. Ryan Says:

    This cover is composed of three quite disparate sections.

    Bottom Third: Fine background, maybe a little twee, but suitable for all kinds of Fantasy or SciFi ranging from C.S. Lewis to Jack Vance.

    Top Third: Pretty bad, but it was 1973, so not really objectionable.

    Middle Third: The artist’s conception of what Russia will be reduced to sending against Ukraine in week six of the Putin invasion.

  9. Bruce A Munro Says:

    The candy man can, but I have no idea how.

    (I guess we have to assume the dog is flying under his own power.)

  10. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Even the dog’s feet are embarrassing on this one.

  11. THX 1139 Says:

    Barbara Woodhouse’s advice always was pretty terrible.

  12. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @fred: Exactly!

    @Tor: I mean, even if he’s blind, you’d think he’d notice the burning.

    And should he be given a gun?

  13. Emster Says:

    Annoyed Publisher: My nephew fancies himself a writer, keeps trying to sell me this “grown up Peter Pan” story every family gathering. Here, read this mess and make me a book cover to match.

    Artist: (sigh) Sure…

  14. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Shouldn’t he be using a seeing-eye bird…??

  15. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Urban legend has it that if you look into a mirror and says “Patrick Woodroffe” six times, the artist appears and apologizes for this cover.

  16. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Looking again, I note that even with (goofy) shoes on, feet are hard to draw. Possibly he’s rocket propelled because he can’t walk on feet shaped like that.

  17. fred Says:

    Purple haze all in my brain.

    Review and full wrap around (bottom of the Candy Man section is the best one) plus some variant covers.

    https://sciencefictionruminations.com/2020/05/10/book-review-candy-man-vincent-king-1971/

  18. Bruce A Munro Says:

    (Looks at back cover blurb)

    (looks at cover again)

    @fred: either someone is rudely interrupting the Candy Man’s vacation or he’s in fact being pursued by one of the death-dealing Teachers through the night-black rotting girders of the sprawling world-city while _high as fuck_ on his own drugged sugar floss.

  19. Tor Mented Says:

    I’m out of touch with pop culture. I don’t recognize half the characters in these Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloons.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @fred: Another book that’s never had a good cover and doesn’t seem to deserve one.

    @Bruce: I think everyone involved with this was high. Constantly.

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