Dec 13

Ovarian Rising

Beatrice B. comments: Who’s the GOAT?

Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.56 out of 10)

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17 Responses to “The Lady of Han-Gilen”

  1. fred Says:

    No animals were overburdened by weight (due to non-essential essentials such as stirrups being ommited) in the production of this cover. ASPCA

  2. Max Bathroom Says:

    The most interesting woman in the world.
    “I don’t always ride a deer, but when I do, I don’t use reins…”
    Presumably she’s waving the sword around her face because she’s just shaved a beard off with it?

  3. Francis Boyle Says:

    Barbarian warrior women and stern librarian who’s really quite attractive without her glasses as Stephen Colbert probably wouldn’t say.

    I’m won’t comment on the riding gear. At this point if the rider isn’t using a bathmat as a saddle I’m good.

  4. JuanPaul Says:

    She’s thinking she should have bought that knee armor when it was on sale

  5. Emster Says:

    @francis: at least bathmat girl remembered to put on pants. Goat girl, er, the Lady of H-G is a bit top-heavy in the PPE, but clearly didn’t consider that foot soldiers will hack at anything within range.

    Magical Steed is clearly thinkin’ “Meh. Meh-eh-eh-eh-eh.”

    Suggested tag: awkward steed

  6. Dr Bob Says:

    I think it is very public spirited of blue dude to help prop up the weird horse-kudu-goat creature by letting it lean on his elbow. The poor thing seems to be missing one of its front legs. Possibly because Lady of H-G accidentally chopped it off.

  7. Bruce Alexander Munro Says:

    He was always annoyed by the way she got on her high goat.

    He’s also pissed about the goat kneeing him in the armpit.

    He’s not actually black, he just came out of the burning city and is really sooty. At least he was able to find a fresh loincloth!

  8. Tor Mented Says:

    Here’s a cover that GSSxn could recreate at a convention. The poses aren’t hard to imitate because they look like they’re still posing.
    I think that the reason that L of H-G looks so cross is that she wishes the artist would hurry up, as she can’t hold her arm up much longer.

  9. Tat Wood Says:

    The further adventures of Davina the Barmaid

  10. Ryan Says:

    Least dynamic action illustration of all time.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    After a bitter contest, Goat-thing wins the “Best Hair on the Cover” award, hooves down.

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    @B.Chiclitz: when a goat with a mullet wins ‘Best Hair’ somethng has gone very badly wrong.

  13. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tat—I think the judge might have been bought off with a sack of tender shoots and leaves.

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Neither she nor the goat are at all armored, so Stabby Guy should be able to win easily. Could wait till she falls off the goat as it rears up, or as her backswing there slices the goat.* He’s got his shield up properly, he can stab either of them.

    @FB: I love those descriptions. They invariably make me go snerk and sometimes LOL. I read it in SC’s voice. A close look at her eyes also support the theory that she’s missing her glasses. That’ll help Sword Guy too.

    @JP: Too true. She could only afford the top half. Which is going to guide a sword right between her boobs and into her sternum/heart.

    @Tor: But we’d need a pantomime goat suit. Or a taxidermy animal.

    @BC: Indeed, the goat deserves the “Haircut 100” tag.

    *Mmm, sliced goat. He can have himself nice gyros or shawarma (official MCU superhero food) or el pastor after this. Even if it’s some unholy combo of goat-deer-horse (the hooves aren’t split), it’s still gonna be a lot of edible meat. Perfect for a warrior after a long day.

  15. Hammy Says:

    “The Lady of Han-Gilen”

    Is Han-Gilen anywhere close to Lon-Gyland?

    @GSSxn(prev.): So, you’re saying that he’s wielding The Sword of Shawarma?

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Hammy: groan AND GSS!

    Yeah, maybe she loses her noble steeds on the regular and has to use the sword to spit the meat on so she can walk back to . Which might explain her lack of swordsmanship.

    For all we know, she might be a waitress at a shawarma place (thus the costume and hair) and she’s escaped with one of the stock, which also explains the no stirrups, no pants, bad technique, etc.

  17. A. R. Yngve Says:

    The logo suggests that you can get the book AND the playset castle (action figures not included).

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