Feb 02

Glory Hole

Good Show Sir comments: I have seen the future and it looks like 1989.

You might remember this from here.

Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.33 out of 10)

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23 Responses to “Glory Lane”

  1. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    “Mr Foster? Sly, Tout & Nutt, Solicitors here. Our client Mr Heinlein …”.

    Too obvious?

  2. fred Says:

    Is this before or after intergalactic punk Fonzie jumped the shark?

  3. Tor Mented Says:

    Greetings, Earthlings. The Cabbage Patch Federation has come to trade for your slap bracelets and Walkmans.

  4. Tat Wood Says:

    The hedgehog in mom jeans is apparently transphobic.

  5. Tat Wood Says:

    @Fred: I thought you were riffing on this embarrassing relic:

  6. Ryan Says:

    Art Direction: Make sure that you concentrate all the illustration action in the bottom half of the cover. Make it busy and weird, with a spaceship George Clinton would be proud to exit.

    What’s that? The top half? Nothing but clear blue Colorado Plateau air, please.

  7. Max Bathroom Says:

    So if that’s George Clinton’s mothership, does that mean the mohawk guy is only shown from the shoulders up because he’s wearing pink leggings and platforms with ten inch cheat heels with his t shirt and leather?

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    More than the jaunty-hipped pleated-pants wearer, I’m intrigued by the guy in the grey Dockers™ who seems to have a starfish clinging to his crotch.

  9. Bruce A Munro Says:

    The book’s attempt to create a spin off with the Space Kidz cartoon never went anywhere, in spite of aggressive cover marketing.

    I prefer the other cover myself. The humans in back look like fashion dummies. (Possibly this actually some sort of outdoor museum of human fashion mistakes, and the kids are on a field trip with Space Mr Rogers in the back).

  10. Mel M Says:

    I’m mostly distracted by the fact that mohawk guy’s head is tilted but the mohawk is straight up so it would be off to the side when he straightens up. Does he have a neck condition so his head is never upright? Does he carefully style it at an angle every morning just in case he wants to tilt his head? My theory is that it is actually a giant caterpillar and it’s trying to run off-frame.

  11. Ryan Says:

    @Max Bathroom
    Yes, he (or she) is dressed in exactly that fashion, and is currently snapping his, her or its fingers, swaying from side to side and notifying you that they want the funk.

    The being in the yellow pants is the mother that has been turned out.

  12. Emster Says:

    @fred: ooooooh, I’d completely forgotten about that episode. Is there anything the Fonz could not do?

    @Tat noooooooo! Eyes are burning! Cannot unsee!

    Unknown Artist is fresh out of 80’s prep school and has never seen an actual punk before? Font problems? Fer sure…

  13. Francis Boyle Says:

    Speed-of-light? Sorry I don’t even get out of bed for anything under warp 3.

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    “Slory Lane”?

    Glory Lane is in my ears, and in MY EYES AAARRRRGHHH!

    @Ryan: I think George’s spaceship is about to take off again because no being on this cover has *ever* brought the funk.

    The other cover is better; at least it seems more like rollicking space adventures rather than desert mannequins. Are they all about to fall over in the upcoming explosion because they haven’t a fridge to hide in? *

    @BC: Jaunty-hiipped woman is obviously modeling the spring collection from the 1989 Sears catalog. Mr. Dockers wanted to, but Sears objected to the starfish. Alien next to spaceship shopped from it.

    @Mel: He styles it sideways, because he’s that much of a poseur. He’s from some teen show from the 80s that thought it was oh so daring.

    GSS to @Tor and @Tat.

    *The jump the shark joke had already been made, after all.

  15. A. R. Yngve Says:

    The success of “The California Raisins” spawned many short-lived imitators, such as the adorable “California Aliens” on the right.

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Nah, I live in California, and those were the “The Alien Raisins” (or were they “The Raisin Aliens”? from someplace else. California is better at depicting aliens, as anyone can see in movies.

    By then, we already had E.T. who was both in California and kinda raisiny.

    I’m thinking the guy in the bubble helmet and blue/red spacesuit *might* be able to muster a little funk if he tried.

  17. Tracy Says:

    Mohawk person gives me serious non-binary vibes. The artist was clearly ahead of his time!

  18. Leak Says:

    @Francis Boyle: nonono, it really should have said “speedo flight” – they’re all overdressed…

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tracy: Mohawk-person’s non-binary, jaunty blouse-and-slacks person is trans* … definitely ahead of its time! So it kinda did show the future.

    *which angers the hedgehog, as @Tat said.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Glory Lane. Not as wide as Glory Road, and a whole lot more queer.

    I have decided Mx. Sears Catalogue in the middle is called Linda.

  21. Leak Says:

    @GSSx-n: could’ve been worse, could’ve been Glory Hole…

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Leak: psst, check the mouseover text.

    Not that there mightn’t be a variety of glory holes available here for the various species. Dockers Guy and the starfish may be getting jiggy with it.

    @Bruce may have something with the human fashion fail museum idea.

    Is hedgehog transphobic, or merely tired of looking at bad outfits, or both? Perhaps Mx. Linda’s polyester was too much. Or hedgehog is the class prankster — looks like an evil plotting smirk on its face.

    I can’t figure out the shadows down right; can anyone?

  23. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Glory Lane
    Glory Boulevard
    Glory Alley
    Glory Bike Path
    Glory Towpath
    Glory Hiking Trail
    Glory Cowpath

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