Feb 07

Ah me so horny!

Bellatrix comments: Tolkien fans will find a lot to like here.

Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.07 out of 10)

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17 Responses to “The Dark Twin”

  1. Max Bathroom Says:

    The orgy always dies down a bit when Twinny gets out her hula hoop…

  2. Francis Boyle Says:

    Well, at least on the basis of this cover one third of the characters are female so it’s got that over Tolkien. Still probably not going to pass the Bechdel test but an improvement. I won’t say anything snarky about the picture. The artist seems to be channelling William Blake by way of Fritz Lang which in my view is not exactly a bad thing. I wouldn’t hang it on my wall but it passes the bus test.

  3. fred Says:

    Oh, the great final scene where Galadriel tells Elrond to throw Isildur and the One Ring into the fires of Mt. Doom.

  4. NomadUK Says:

    The Literotica story almost writes itself.

    That’s one hell of a butt-plug the dude on the right has dropped; no wonder the other guy looks exhausted.

  5. Tat Wood Says:

    The real reason National Benzole dropped Mr Mercury in favour of the Smurfs:

  6. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @FB—It may pass the bus test, but it does not pass the “Dare I Draw a Foot?” test.

  7. Ryan Says:

    Really captures the emotional experience of Smeagol, Sam and Frodo as they cross the…Dead Marshes(?) and realize that they are out of potatoes. And fish.

  8. JuanPaul Says:

    I hate it when my leg gets caught under a shield just as a warrior falls on it. Painful for both parties involved.

  9. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Not to be outdone by Amazon, Elon Musk’s Tolkien reboot surprised EVERYONE.

  10. Bruce Alexander Munro Says:

    A story about a bunch of posers.

    “I wouldn’t hang it on my wall but it passes the bus test.”

    Really? You must have some pretty liberal buses where you live.

  11. GSS ex-noob Says:

    JRR probably never saw that many nude buff people in his entire life, let alone wrote about them.

    No idea if the art has anything to do with the plot, but it in and of itself is pretty competent..

    I think the shuriken is entirely misleading and did the book no favors.

    @Bruce: I’d read it on a bus. Of course the last bus I rode was in San Francisco proper, so…

  12. Emster Says:

    Hmm… what qualifies as a “Great Tolkien Tradition”? Rambling seemingly aimlessly, to the great frustration of both Bilbo and myself? (Hobbit did blow my mind back in middle earth, er, middle school, but still, rambling…)

    I’m not seeing “bronze age Scotland” as ‘splained in the book reviews, but something I’d expect from Andre Norton covers. Which are also lots of fun.

  13. Hammy Says:

    Is that disc-like thing Ms.Dark-Magick-with-ram’s-horns-modesty-belt’s skirt, hover disc, or as @MaxB says, a hula hoop?

  14. Ingrid Says:

    I was just wondering why that one guy has a giant pizza cutter as his lower leg. Modern prosthetics perhaps?

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Emster: Hoots mon! I’m not seeing ANY Bronze Age Scotland.

    Is this another case of “Put some art we already have on it, doesn’t have to be related”?

  16. Tracy Says:

    If this is prehistoric Scotland, why is the warrior on the left mostly nude, save for their gloves and helmet?

    Also, if you look closely, they are wearing a veeerry tini bikini top, like Jim Carrey’s female bodybuilder parody Vera de Milo.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    What is the thing (ball with flag) by naked golden guy? It may be levitating. Magickal prehistoric sex toy?

    The woman’s descending platform is obviously made by Dodge. Got the logo right up front.

    @Tracy: I’ve been to Scotland in July, dressed in layers even during sunny days, and it was still a wee bit chilly. The mind boggles at metal on bare skin, particularly in an age far before central heating or radiators.

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