Feb 01

Uh Larry, that's not my tail you're grabbing.Click for full image

HOLY father of APOLLO! I have it, again! Cat people! Oh alright, we won’t have it just as bad as last time but we should have at least three of them. And some guy with a beard, and an alien city, and purple fonts that burn into your mind.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.04 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “The Trouble with Aliens”

  1. SI Says:

    It’s no RX for Chaos. But there’s something about cat people that cracks me up everytime. Are they all carrying star wars laser swords?

  2. Adam Roberts Says:

    That cat in the bottom right hand corner looks pretty annoyed at being half-cropped out of the frame.

    See, usually when I start a sentence with the phrase ‘that cat’ it is because I have once again, and to the distress of my interlocutor, lapsed into 1970s hep-talk. But on this occasion the usage is particular.

  3. CSA Says:

    I love the bearded dude (platonic love), Its like all the cat people have posed for a photoshoot oportunity near the city and some bearded dude just sticks his head in the frame… its probably the same dude who always walks past the camera 6/7 times during the same BBC news piece.

    As Adam says, that cat is getting peeved, think that was their 10th attempt to get a pic without the beardman.

    (the cover, although bad, is a massive improvement on RX for Chaos)

  4. Simon Says:

    That’s the difference between cats and cat people – cat people use human facial expressions.

    Oddly I’ve never read a cat people SF novel where one of the cat people has stopped in mid-sentence, hoiked one of its rear legs over its shoulder and started noisily licking its own genitals.

    That maybe because I’ve never read a cat people SF novel but I doubt it.

  5. SI Says:

    Simon> The internet is a big world, I’m sure there is some cat genital licking out there somewhere…. *shivers*

    And why do they always evolve from cats? I am sure it is out there somewhere. But I want hamster people!!! Stuffing things in their cheeks for later consumption.

  6. James Lovegrove Says:

    “A delightful pleasure!” exclaims David Weber. Which rather seems to suggest that all his other pleasures are less delightful. Perhaps he’s into S&M. That might explain it.

    Good use of launching-rocketship motif, too. If you’re a cover artist and you’re in some doubt that you haven’t quite nailed the “this is SF” brief, stick in a launching rocketship.

  7. Karl Says:

    Christopher ANVIL? Maybe he’s into heavy-handed moralizing.

  8. Sorcha Says:

    The trouble with aliens is apparently that they do not share the human concept of “personal space.”

  9. A.R.Yngve Says:

    When humanity finally encountered intelligent aliens, they did not expect to face… neurotic cat-men!

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    The trouble with aliens is that they never show up as just one. No, you invite Biff over to your flat for a beer and some Smash Bros, and he’s got Arlene and Stevie with him. Oh, certainly, you can play four-player, but all the beer’s gone in half an hour.

    The trouble with aliens is that they put you down by trying to be helpful. ‘Look,’ they say, ‘I’m sure you’d have a lot more room in this studio if you ran a skyway over to the next building. The landlord wouldn’t even care.’ And they’re sprawling about on your furniture, casting condescending looks at the walls. No, what they mean is, ‘Why do you live inside of an actual vise, human?’

    The trouble with aliens is that they bring the moon with them. Right along. And even if they find a parking space for it that isn’t right outside your building, there’s still the tides to worry about. You slip into the washroom, and all the water is piled on one side of the sink. That’s plain old bad taste, even if none of the neighbours catch on.

    The trouble with aliens is that they’re always–and I do mean always–cleaning their ears with their own rifle barrels.

  11. A.R.Yngve Says:

    [Stewart Lee voice] Aliens… coming over here… taking over our sci-fi publishing… and dropping their stinking hair balls all over the place!

  12. L.B. Says:

    I swear; Baen is run by Garfield. More kitties, more kitties, more kitties here!

  13. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “Oh crap…don’t look now, Larry, but there’s one of those competent hairy Heinleinian men behind us. We’re screwed, aren’t we?”
    “Now don’t panic, Ted. Look up at the author name. As long as it’s not Eric Frank Russell, we have a chance.”
    “It’s…Eric Flint? No, it’s Christopher Anvil!”
    “Dear Ceiling Cat in heaven. That’s even worse!”

  14. fred Says:

    It’s the Three Stooges of cat peoples. From L to R you gots your Pvt. Curly, your Pvt. Larry, and your Pvt. Moe, along with long suffering straight man Sgt Stomboupopoulos.
    There’s nothing quite like cat peoples slapstick.

  15. Francis Boyle Says:

    There is no trouble with aliens only with hack SF cover artist who lack creativity when it comes to imagining alien life forms. But then it’s Baen so why am I bothering – I should just be grateful for the (relative) lack of explosions. </rant>

  16. THX 1139 Says:

    The look that says you missed your flight.

  17. Tat Wood Says:

    The one in the centre has been given his own laser-pointer by some malicious soul.

  18. Adzel Says:

    I’m not sure why skinny Chuck Norris is sneaking up on those big felines, but surely when overgrown kitties steal light-sabers, only an action hero can stop a CAT-tastrophe of galactic proportions.

  19. Tor Mented Says:

    The sculptures on Mount Catmore are being protested by angry mice.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I’m pretty sure beardy beard man has only popped in to photobomb.

    We’ve another too-close planet, and you can all make your own joke about the very pointy mountains and thrusting rocket.

    At least there’s no explosions or boobs, and the cover is the complete opposite of their usual orange.

    And Anvil (a pseudonym worthy of Pseud’s Corner) was still alive when this came out so the wholesale rewriting wouldn’t happen… checks Wikipedia… nope. 3 stories rewritten and a new ending tacked on.

    I wonder if Anvil lived with cats? Or is it Flint’s fault?

    Are these lot the roadies for the “Rx For Chaos!” band?

    @Tat: Laser pointer was my first thought as well. Is he going to take over by making the others chase it, or will he fall victim to it first?

    @Tag, @Admin: Now you’re down to a 3 day week? And where’s @TweetJane?
    Please tell me you haven’t been forced to eat Space Sheep.

    I blame Chinese GSS. Or possibly Russian GSS.

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