Feb 25

OYE! Stop picking me horses nose!Click for full image

The great artists of our time had a formula for where the human eye would automatically look to when presented with a work of art. At that precise point I know exactly what we need. A huge horse’s head, in pain, as it gets speared by a crazed redhead.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.38 out of 10)

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14 Responses to “Mage Of Clouds”

  1. Adam Roberts Says:

    If I were a cavalryman I’d prefer a regular horse. Not one with the magical ability to sneeze an enemy spearsman out of its nose.

  2. Adam Roberts Says:

    I’ve now checked the scrollover text which, voila, renders my gag redundant. Thanks a bundle.

  3. CSA Says:

    Its okay Adam, i read your comment before the mouse over. So you got the laugh.

    Is the horse (and all the strappings) meant to look like they’re made out of clay?

    I don’t like the font. No logical reason for my dislike though.

    Also i cant quite get my head around what the hell is coming out of her armpit…

  4. SI Says:

    Yea I’m not sure what the hell that is either. And when does wood give off a glow like that?

  5. Simon Says:

    I wouldn’t want to go up against a Roman Cavalryman unless I was armed with Glowy Wood.Glowy Orangey at the ends and Glowy Silvery in the middle.

    ‘One of the rising stars of Celtic fantasy’ should have been enough of a warning for any of us.

    That’s one fugly horse too. Although to be fair its looks weren’t probably helped much by having its bridle and reins inserted under its skin.

    And if Book 2 of The Cloudmages is called Mage of Clouds what on earth did they call Book 1?

    You would have though Mage of Clouds would be the title for Book 1 of The Cloudmages so that Book 2 could be called Another Mage of Clouds.

    And hey, isn’t ‘cloud’ one of those words that just looks wrong if you repeat it enough?

    cloud cloud cloud cloud cloud klewed klowed clod

  6. SI Says:

    You have possibly had your limit of sugar today Simon 😛

  7. Yoyogod Says:

    I’ve read this book, so I can safely say that it is in fact a crazed redhead turning a horse and rider into wood using a magic staff, not a crazed redhead spearing a horse. Not that that makes the artwork any less hideous.

  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Boomerang font.

    Something’s very wrong about the style. I feel as though the artist did the detail work for the faces and heads, then phoned in the rest. Does anyone else get that impression? (Note to the designer: if your heroine is thrusting herself FORWARD, inertia will cause her Glowing Necklace of Phlebotinum to hang BACK. Sorry!)

    @Simon: Book 1 was The Cloudmages. Book 3 was Cloud of the Mage. Book 4 was Wossat Then, Eh? (due to a typesetter’s error). Book 5 was Segamduolc Eht and was felt to be the most Celtic of the series.

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Mage of Cloads?

  10. anon Says:

    Mage of Gouds?
    Or going by the image, maybe Mage of Goads?

  11. Tom Noir Says:

    That horse is so surprised!

  12. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Q: What is “Celtic Fantasy”?

    A: Fantasy written by Americans who have zero knowledge of Celtic history and culture but have seen lots of “Celts” in movies and think they themselves are “Irish”, for Americans who have zero knowledge of Celtic history and culture but have seen lots of “Celts” in movies and think they themselves are “Irish”.

  13. DaveM Says:

    @A.R.Yngve, a quick google search shows the author comes from that noted heartland of Celtic culture, Ohio, and resides in that other Celtic heartland Kentucky.

    I wonder if the artist ever considered suing Pixar? It seems obvious they stole the design for Princess Merida from this cover. Of course that would mean having to admit they created it, so maybe not.

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Asterix, bring me the magic potion — quickly!”

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