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Mar 30

Arcane

18 Comments »

'Cross-eyed Marty, goes jumpin in again ...'Click for larger image

Bibliomancer’s Art Direction: We’re in a hurry, Boris. Just send us a random page from your sketchbook. We’ll pay top dollar!

Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.33 out of 10)
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Feb 23

A Midsummer Tempest

18 Comments »

A Midsummer Knight's Fever DreamClick for larger image

Ryan Comments: Hey, Poul, I bet you can’t write a SciFi novel that references Shakespeare and contains D’Artagnan, the Ring Cycle, steam-powered locomotives, Classical Greek architecture, and bearded monks!

Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.56 out of 10)
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May 28

Caught in Crystal

19 Comments »

The glowing Magic 8-Ball says 'Reply hazy, try again.'Click for larger image

Ryan Comments: I am torn between the best feature on this cover – the little cat-man or the wizard’s shoes.

Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.57 out of 10)
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Mar 20

Saint Leibowitz and the Wild Horse Woman

15 Comments »

A Listicle for LeibowitzClick for larger image

FluffyGhostKitten Comments: Ever heard of ‘fractal wrongness’? Draw that. And don’t forget the naked lady. The naked lady is essential.

Published 1997

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.32 out of 10)
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Nov 16

Dayworld Rebel

27 Comments »

Interpretive dance with the Blue Man GroupClick for larger image

Kang N. Kodos Comments: … leprechaun antennae, lollipop gun, spinnin’ in his grave … Tag Wizard is gonna have to up his game!

Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.30 out of 10)
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Jun 05

Exiles’ Return

45 Comments »

Neo-Jesus here! Which one of you stiffs is Lazarus?Click for larger image

Leah Comments: Another beaut from my personal collection. Fairly good book, but the protagonists (human woman and psychic alien cat) don’t look like that. First, I’ve never seen a living, healthy adult human being with such a tiny head. Second, they’re both pregnant in this volume of the series. No sign of that here. Also, the text never says anything about the cat having a double chin.

Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.44 out of 10)
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Mar 27

Ruby Flames

21 Comments »

Who you callin Puss n Boots?Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Release Notes for Catware 3.7:

– Reduced shedding by 15%
– Catpeople can now wield glaives, halberds, and Beretta AR70s
– Removed ridiculous names from Author Name Generator
– Tail toggle added to preferences
– Text correction: mages cast ‘fireball’, not ‘hairball’
– Runaway reproduction issue now fixed

Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.45 out of 10)
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Jun 29

The Lost Worlds of Cronus

12 Comments »

Come now person sized t-rex... ignore the giant laser man and bring your space ship toy!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: “Thank Zorgon everything on this world is so tiny,” mused our hero. “I wouldn’t want to face that dinosaur full size. Hey,” he added, “is that guy wearing a nappy?”
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.32 out of 10)
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Nov 11

The Cyborg and the Sorcerers

25 Comments »

Jesus, stop changing all the water into wine. Next time turn some into coffee. Click for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: After a wild night of drinking, God and Jesus fly the Holy Ghost to the emergency room.

Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.57 out of 10)
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May 13

The Broken Sword

20 Comments »

How do you like to be poked with a uranium rod? eh! EH!?!Click for full image

Lauren F’s Art Direction: Since this story is about elves and changeling babies and magic, it definitely makes sense to represent it on the cover with an electrical plug attacking a lady holding a fluorescent light bulb.
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.42 out of 10)
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