Apr 28
You remember in the Falklands when the British fleet attacked the Argentinians? Just like that, but imagine the Argentinians were reptiles! And have a large reptilian eye staring at the ass of a busty not-very-clothed women who’s casting chain lightning. I know… I’m physically excited too!
April 28th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Hmmm, not quite convinced on the quality of my phone pictures. Might have to take a proper camera to the next book shop. But that’s going to look really weird hehe
But no matter… that cover is epic. And it’s dual written… wonder if it was duel drawn! 😉
April 28th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Would you get a positive or negative modifier for dual weilding art equipment?
April 28th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Ohhh interesting….
+ 2 perception
– 3 charisma
Subject gains an additional generic sci-fi element per brush stroke.
?
April 30th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Presumably you need to gain a skill in Calligraphic Expertise first?
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:33 pm
No matter how bad the cover is, the book would be worse. I mean, Ringo and Kratman — their first contribution to global literary horror had them painting the Waffen-SS as *good guys*. (The book sold very badly indeed in Germany. Kratman was reportedly surprised by this. Ringo, not being an idiot, was not.)
April 22nd, 2010 at 1:49 pm
Ironically, the only real difference between this picture and what happens in the book is that the woman in the book doesn’t wear a shirt. She’s actually a hologram projected by the AI that runs the ship, which does indeed fight reptilian alien centaurs, and they are very superstitious so she does do things like project pretend magic lightning at them. And yes, the AI is a she. This may in fact be one of the most *accurate* sci-fi book cover pictures ever created. Don’t ask me how I know this.
I said don’t ask me.
Don’t look at me with your judging, sneering eyes! DON’T JUDGE ME!
April 30th, 2010 at 3:29 am
Nobody ever said cover art had any function other than to sell books. This one was done because the cover on the hardback edition *really* sucked. A bunch of us went to the artist and pledged our own actual money for him to paint a decent cover, and when the publisher saw the result, she bought it for the paperback edition. I have a very large acid-free print of this on the wall of my office, and many of my colleagues have admired it. Putting this up as a “worst cover” is simply unbelievable.
And by the way, both “Yellow Eyes” and “Watch on the Rhine” were superb.
June 9th, 2010 at 4:58 pm
Just because it looks really ‘metal’ hanging on your wall doesn’t mean it works as a book cover. Like many of the bad covers exhibited here, the main problem is that there is just too much going on in too small a space. Throw in some garish font choices, and you got yourself a covertastrophe!
July 30th, 2010 at 9:06 pm
This truly is a terrible cover…but I would like to point out that it was the Argentinians who invaded British territory first, prompting a retaliation from the British. So really, it was the Argentinians attacking Britain. 😉
December 15th, 2010 at 11:49 am
Also look out for these coming titles, sure to be best-sellers among the hard-core fans:
– SPACEGUARD OF THE WAFFEN-SS
– ARYAN TIGER TANK ASTRONAUTS
– GASSING THE ALIEN HORDES
and
– LET’S PICK THE GOLD OUT OF THOSE DEAD ALIENS’ TEETH
March 30th, 2012 at 9:10 pm
There’s so much going on here it’s painful despite the relatively tasteful colors. This is four covers’ worth of images.
It’s like looking into a child’s toy chest: Barbie is on top of a big plastic dragon head with some craft detritus — colored yarn or pipe cleaners or pot holder loops — tangled on her hands, some random Warhammer minis at the bottom on a bit of green felt for turf for your toy cars, and a bit of a little plastic castle showing.
October 27th, 2012 at 11:36 pm
@ Nix: in re: “(The book sold very badly indeed in Germany. Kratman was reportedly surprised by this. Ringo, not being an idiot, was not.)”
I can’t believe I missed this one. Oh, well, better late than never.
Why, thanks, Nix. Prior to reading this I’d had no idea that number 2 for English books on Amazon.de and 117 for _all_ books on Amazon.de was bad. And there I was surprised it sold so well. Little did I know, eh? Why, I didn’t even know I was supposed to be surprised about what didn’t happen lest you be shown up as…what’s the word?
October 29th, 2012 at 7:41 pm
Alert! Alert! Author offended by three-year-old comment on obscure blog!
October 30th, 2012 at 4:52 am
Oh, puhleeze. I’m not offended; I’m amused. I’ve been here before…just ask around.
October 30th, 2012 at 9:46 am
*looks up from behind the bar, sipping his single malt whiskey*
AYYYEEEEE… I know this Kratman ye speak of… how do you think I got this!
*taps wooden leg*
October 30th, 2012 at 5:20 pm
LOL.
“I’m not bad;” I’m just more in tune with “the dark side of the force.”
March 24th, 2013 at 6:41 pm
Backstage at the Children’s Electric Panto, Mr. Godzilla was showing Barbie how to work the marionettes.
March 25th, 2013 at 12:09 am
This cries out for the ‘BEHIND YOU” tag. Tagmeister, we beseech you!
March 25th, 2013 at 9:48 am
Thanks B’mancer, it takes a while to go through all the posts otherwise! A worthy candidate indeed. Maybe we should add some sort of user tagging system..
March 25th, 2013 at 2:06 pm
User tagging would be a cool idea. Would take some of the burden of the admins.
May 27th, 2015 at 9:42 pm
Ashley Tisdale was a Sith Lord? Who knew?
May 28th, 2015 at 1:06 am
@Tat: now you’ve got me imagining Candace Flynn with Darth Vader’s voice.
‘Butbutbutbutbut–hss–butbutbutbutbut–hss–butbutbutbutbut–‘
May 28th, 2015 at 2:15 am
‘You have failed, Your Highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me.’
‘Just wait ’til Mom hears about this, Jedi!’
May 29th, 2015 at 10:11 am
@Tat Wood: I sure didn’t, but I would get behind
herthat! I would get behind that.January 22nd, 2017 at 8:00 pm
I wanna take orange away from BAEN! and watch them cry.
(Considering the new regime of the US, which is very much approved of by BAEN! types, they obviously love orange in all its manifestations.)