Mar 15

OHHH GAWWWWD I'm on a terrible sci-fi cover!Click for full image

Look, I’m all for drawing yourself on the cover – but it comes at a price. A translucent alien head staring at the reader, some lightning on the hills and (my forte) flying avocados! And I really mean avocados with pink wings. With that all there, you can just draw how you feel.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.86 out of 10)

Tagged with:

28 Responses to “And Disregards the Rest”

  1. SI Says:

    Too many ‘ands’ there. Especially in the quote. I think they man is hold his head because he’s entered a cover full of grammatical nightmares.

  2. e.lee Says:

    guacamole with flying avocados! Yummy!

  3. CSA Says:

    Never has the double facepalm of disgust been so appropriate.

    Its clearly meant to be a surreal story, but when you put it on a cover like that it just looks bad.

  4. Adam Roberts Says:

    I assume the lightning struck him on the head, and that’s why he’s wailing.

  5. Simon Says:

    The man in the cover has seen the cover. It burns.

  6. Nix Says:

    CSA: yes indeed. The artwork is actually quite well drawn, but the artist was plainly on LSD or something like that. (I mean, the sky is acceptable: I’ve seen twilight skies that look like that. But the pink wings on the flying legless headless pigs and the calmly staring spectral elf, well, this is plainly LSD or something even more controlled.)

  7. Ron OBvious Says:

    The title sounds like a drinking game. Say the first part of the sentence, then add “And disregards the rest.” Seems to apply when logic, layout, and font are considered, since the layout artist disregarded the rest.

  8. Jim Ryan Says:

    With apologies to Paul Simon:

    Avocados? Jest! Still a man draws what he wants to draw
    And disregards the rest…

    La La La! La La La La La-la-la…

  9. Zeke Says:

    You know, this doesn’t look like a great book, but I think I would have to buy it if I saw it. The author chose a title that would intrigue Simon and Garfunkel fans and confuse the hell out of everyone else. Such gall deserves to be rewarded.

  10. andyl Says:

    Actually it is a pretty decent book. One of its themes is insanity – which obviously must have infected the cover artist.

  11. Sorcha Says:

    “The rest” is a phrase which here means “all the leftover art that was rejected from other books, pasted together into something that makes no sense whatsoever.”

  12. Stevie T Says:

    In the corner stands an artist
    And a draftsman by his trade
    And he carries the reminders
    Of ev’ry editor who pushed him
    And cajoled him till he cried out
    In his frustration and his shame
    “I will draw it, I will draw it!”
    So the avocados still remain

    Sorry, I just couldn’t resist.

  13. DaveM Says:

    I’ve read this book, and leaving the flying avocados aside, the cover shows a few major plot points. The book is about an avant-garde production of Shakespeares “The Tempest” being performed deep in the Australian bush and the unexpected repercussions of it. The writing style is sort of a mid 90’s aussie version of Philip K Dick, and was the authors first work. Unfortunately, he only wrote one other work (“The weird colonial boy”) before vanishing to wherever writers who don’t sell well end up.

    Oh, and thinking about it, while the flying avocados do not appear in the book, they would have been far from the strangest thing seen.

  14. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Dennis screwed up his first World of Warcraft quest in the worst way imaginable.

  15. Tom Noir Says:

    We should have a contest to see who can craft the longest sentence using only GSS book titles.

  16. RachelJ Says:

    Bonus points for number of separate titles?

    Further points if it sounds vaguely like it could be an actual SF blurb?

    “Sometime after the equinox, when the devil dances behind the walls of Terra, women at war in other worlds- Valentina, Perelandra, the Girl from the Emeraline Island- hunt the space-witch in the empire of shadow.”

  17. Tom Noir Says:

    @RachelJ: Bravo! The bar has been set very high!

    I have to resist the temptation to play this game instead of working but I will return to it forthwith!

  18. RachelJ Says:

    Now remember: no adding words- no conjunctions, no prepositions, nothing. Just pure titles!

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I’m afraid I can’t compete. Not only do I lack inspiration, all of my results are rather…er…naughty:

    ‘We who are about to…consider her ways and others in the den of the dragon wave the shape of sex to come this creeping evil manseed in the hands of glory.’

  20. FeàrofMusïc Says:

    ‘We few, melancholy elephants, descendants of the light, a plague of demons in the flesh, spirits black as thunder marching through peachtree to the dark tower, overthrowing heaven, the source of magic out of times abyss not for glory, lest darkness fall twice in time, leaping to the stars to build Jerusalem, city who fought servants of the Wankh.

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    All we need now is some flying tacos, some flying sauce, a helping of flying refried beans and perhaps flying mincemeat, a lot of flying corn, perhaps a few flying tortillas, a whole bunch of flying tomatos… and it’s party time!

  22. Tom Noir Says:

    Still I persist in wondering what mad universe sucks and blows our friends from Frolix 8 into the hinterlands searching for dragons chaining the lady in the cube the night the heads came.

  23. Tom Noir Says:

    Geez, I’m going to start submitting made-up book covers with just conjunctions for titles.

    Part I in the thrilling CONJUNCTION CHRONICLES.
    “I can’t wait to get my hands on BUT!!” -Orson Scott Card

  24. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tom: would XNOR be the prequel?

    As for myself, I hope someone writes a scientifiction novel called, ‘Yo Momma’s So Fat…’

  25. RachelJ Says:

    And now, the all-Baen edition:

    “At all costs a few good men march to the sea; there will be dragons, soldiers, future weapons of war, chicks ‘n’ chained males, mountains and madness, a plague of demons, exile- and glory- the best of all possible wars.”

  26. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I salute you, RachelJ.

  27. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Can we craft sentences out of the Tag Chaos?

    ‘Once you see it, beard wielding space sheep cloaks Baen Books’ cat people cleavage BEHIND YOU!’

  28. Leah Says:

    The world ‘avocado’ is from the Nahuatl for ‘testicle’. I think that’s relevant. Besides, winged bananas would be too blatant a form of innuendo.

Leave a Reply