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Mar 12

HEY! At least I'm covering my shame!Click for full image

A naked man wrestles a lion man – who is wearing a speedo I should point out – on top of a mound of fire. Yes, I did just say that out loud. And I want a huge snake in there, with a collar. And I do mean snake, that’s not a euphemism, but then again nothing to stop us from putting some ass on there too.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.63 out of 10)
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47 Responses to “Hunters of the Red Moon”

  1. SI Says:

    Wow… this cover is simply glorious. There’s nothing on it that isn’t simply, awesome.

  2. SI Says:

    Slow morning.. What’s everyone doing? Working? Oh yea….

    Maybe the lion man stole that guys underwear and that’s why they are fighting.

  3. Simon Says:

    Do you think that if I were on class-A hallucinogenic drugs this cover (and indeed the decisions that led to it being used on the book) would make more sense?

  4. SI Says:

    Red Moon? More like a pink moon to me.

    Man.. that’s taken me all day to think of.

  5. Adam Roberts Says:

    That’s a bum cover.

  6. Lee Harris Says:

    sssssssssplendid.

  7. CSA Says:

    This is a totally perplexing cover. I DO love the pose of the lion about to gut punch that guy.

    This is what happens if you let David Lynch direct the ThunderCats movie.

  8. Kaji Says:

    Wow…I read that book, albeit a different edition. I wonder if it would have been more memorable with that cover?

  9. Adam Roberts Says:

    I like to think the snake’s not even supposed to be in it. They set up the camera to record the Women in Love-style naked male wrestling, and just as the shutter is pressed, Snakie sticks his head in front of the lens. ‘Hellooo!’

  10. Justin Leego Says:

    AAARRGHHHH

    aaaargrghhh nooooo the angle noooo the white cueball buttocks
    noooooo the potential dangling aaaaaarggghhh the lack of dangling nooooooo
    aaaaaaahhhhh the devil’s fist clenched having ripped off said tadger oooooohhh

    Oh wait, there’s a sock-puppet snake here to distract me. All is well.

  11. e.lee Says:

    The illustrator got the wrong end of it 😛

  12. Paul Atreides Says:

    The pain!!!!

  13. Nix Says:

    Truly impressive. Gotta love the 70s, you really have. (Book first published in 1973, according to the ever-useful ISFDB.)

  14. Paul Atreides Says:

    Proof once again that nothing good came out of the 70s. Who was the layout designer for that book, Ray Charles? Naked Butt Guy fighting on giant snake. Boffo box office! In truth, I have less respect for the crustaceans who designed the book than the water-headed rubes who actually bought it. These books wouldn’t keep reinforcing prejudices about this genre if people kept buying them. Sci fi fandom has nobody to blame except themselves. I think we need a ruling from Alan Smithee.

  15. SI Says:

    Actually I have decided that the snake with a collar is in fact a fancy modern water tap for your bathroom.

  16. Samanosuke Says:

    Snake: “HI GUYS WATS GOIN ON”

  17. dogpossum Says:

    I read this when I was about 13. It was a bit disturbing. The story is _almost- about a naked guy fighting a lion guy while a snake lounges in the foreground.

  18. SI Says:

    Almost? The snake is the wrong colour… right?

  19. JPlum Says:

    I have a different version, with more T&A. I shall send it to you, forthwith!

  20. Spam Spam Says:

    this is what the internet is about. Awesome post.

  21. admin Says:

    I agree Spam! This post pretty much sums up the internet.

  22. CSA Says:

    That almost deserves to go on one of those motivational posters.

    “A naked man wrestles a lion man on top of a mound of fire:- This is what the internet is about”

  23. Jonathan Says:

    “but then again nothing to stop us from putting some ass on there too.”

    Please . . . stop . . . I can’t breath.

    /literally brought tears to my eyes.

  24. Terry Smith Says:

    I read that book – it’s actually excellent. He is armed with a Katana right through it, and sharpens it correctly. I don’t recall the wrestling at all.

    The cool thing is, at a Maplecon way back I ran into MZB in an elevator and mentioned it to her. She said, ‘oh i wrote that years ago’ but a good book is forever and its a good book.

  25. Polonius Says:

    Actually, a more accurate poster slogan would be:
    “A naked man wrestles a lion man on top of a mound of fire:- This is what the 70s were all about”

  26. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The snake-on-a-wrist in the foreground illustrates what my mother told me:

    “If you keep making shadow-puppet snakes with that hand of yours, it’ll end up being that way!”

  27. SI Says:

    After reading this I can confirm there is indeed a naked man and a lion man in the first 10 pages.

    They don’t wrestle on top of a hill of fire.

    Nor is there a snake… A lizard man but no snake.

    Anyway, it’s actually not bad at all. Nothing super exciting, but a good bus read! Plus getting looks of, “Look at what that guys reading, naked man wrestling a lion man. He must be awesome.” is pretty sweet.

  28. Rags Says:

    LOL i cant stop laughing, this is my favourite cover!!! So many questions….

  29. Bibliomancer Says:

    I was checking out the Original DAW cover.

    I noticed that the Arrow Books cover was published six years later. Both covers have the same content: man fighting beast, red moon in sky, photobombing reptile. It is like the cover was described over the phone and the new cover artist tried reproducing it sight unseen. With hilarious results!

  30. Rachel J Says:

    @Bibliomancer. Even the snake is explicable now – the original version is clearly SI’s lizard man!

    Well, well. Who would have thought party games were actually used in cover design?

  31. Tom Noir Says:

    This cover always confuses me. That moon is clearly NOT red.

  32. Larry Dixon Says:

    Guys! Guys! It’s me again!

    Believe it or not I did the cover for the ebook version. And it is properly weird too.

    I’ll send in a copy right away! I do my best, I truly do, but sometimes I just don’t have the time or talent to make things aesthetically beautiful and it comes up…well…. functional. And weird.

    But we can do weird, hereabouts.

  33. Tom Noir of the Red Moon Says:

    This cover bums me out.

  34. Tom Noir of the Red Moon Says:

    Cleverly, this picture is both the front flap AND the rear flap.

  35. Tom Noir of the Red Moon Says:

    I know this is supposed to be a red moon but I keep seeing Uranus.

  36. Tom Noir of the Red Moon Says:

    I’m guessing this was approved by the Ass. Art Director.

  37. anon Says:

    The illustrator must be left-handed because that snake quite clearly was originally a sock puppet.

  38. Hammy Says:

    I just want to know who put that ferrite bead around the snake’s neck when it was small and left it to grow like that.

    Did they think that Snakey had RF currents flowing on his skin that needed suppressing?

  39. Tat Wood Says:

    (Adopts Bert Lahr voice): Puddem up! Puddem up!

  40. Ryan Says:

    Panty Lion must really hate that pale nudist to be head-locking him and kidney-punching him with such fervor as they sink into the fiery mound. Nudey Dude perhaps made a rude remark about Panty Lion’s panty’s tail aperture or something.

    It’s all just a big laugh to Armored Snake, though.

  41. fred Says:

    Wow. Reptilicus AND both Gargantuas. All it needs is Clint Eastwood in a jet fighter.

  42. Max Bathroom Says:

    Every year the queue outside the renaissance faire gets more out of hand…

  43. Francis Boyle Says:

    Abandon hope all you who enter the GSS archives! That way madness lies.

    Also ass.

  44. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @B’man (29): That blurb is a masterpiece in meh. “Absolute competence”. Let’s not go overboard on the praise, there, Ted.

    Photobombing snake is just there for the warmth from the fire, and is getting bonus laffs from Speedo Lion vs. Mr. White Moon.

    Looking at snek again, I guess he can levitate, possibly using the magnet-collar. Because if he’s down on the ground, mouth closed, his fangs are going to stick into the ground and he wouldn’t be able to crawl. I suppose they might be hinged — he does look sort of rattlesnakey — but not sure his mouth is big enough either.

  45. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Emo giant snake: “Ssso gaaay.”

    Some people are calling it a mound of fire, but it looks more like a cheese product to me, or perhaps scrambled eggs and bacon. More alimentary than elemental.

  46. Emster Says:

    A wild reimagining of The Little Prince?
    Small planet – check
    Gene Wilder’s crazy fox hair – check
    Little prince looking for someone to play with – kind of?
    Snake – yep, right front and centre!

  47. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: You may be onto something. At another look, I think it might be whatever that goop is they use for nachos at theaters and stadiums. It’s congealing, which is why the man and lion-man are knee-deep in the stuff. Snakey is laughing at their predicament and inviting the viewer to do the same.

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