Jun 09
Click for full imageRichard Comments: I recently bought some books from the wonderful (and charming) Gwyneth Jones. Gwyneth’s site you should have a look; she gives the money less p&p to Amnesty and her books are tremendous. She signed the book with the message requested, but had also written notes about the cover art. In this one, “This delicious cover is my own fault, I talked to the artist. Never do that!” Not entirely sure what’s going on, though – it seems that Ben Affleck has really pissed off that woman.
Published 1997
First floating heads, now full bodies!
Many thanks to Richard!
(Average: 7.83 out of 10)
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June 9th, 2010 at 9:27 am
It’s missing something… Cat people?
June 9th, 2010 at 9:39 am
No cat people. But slightly made up for by two people floating through the air in their basketball boots.
She is clearly like, “You brought me to Paris?! I wanted Vienna dam it!”
June 9th, 2010 at 10:03 am
Considering one of them seems to have coughed up a lung, they look remarkably unconcerned. Unless that’s Ben Affleck acting “excruciating pain”.
June 9th, 2010 at 10:35 am
“You are like SO converse when it’s all about the Reebok!”, says young Elizabeth Taylor.
June 9th, 2010 at 11:07 am
Floaty blue-dress woman looks like she’s got both feet crammed into a single oversized trainer. She might win a jumping race like that, but probably none of the approved Olympic track and field events.
June 9th, 2010 at 11:47 am
Floaty Blue Dress Lady: Something’s come between us.
Trainers Guy: It’s a lung alveoli.
June 9th, 2010 at 12:09 pm
Ben Affleck: Well, whatever it is, I’m telling you, you’re not getting into Tesco dressed in a shower curtain and one big shoe.
Floaty Blue Dress Lady: Well Ben, the Tescos story was a lie. We’re here in Paris because the people want to give you an award for your acting skills.
Ben Affleck: Really?
Floaty Blue Dress Lady: No
(thats actually an excerpt from self directed “the what if Ben Affleck could fly movie”, Pheonix cafe is just the novelisation)
June 9th, 2010 at 12:36 pm
I’m also pretty sure the last time I checked the Arch De Triomphe isn’t surrounded by sky-scrapers. I’m picking yet again.
James CSA > that one shoe thing is amazing. It has to be intentional.
And yaayyy it’s the return of the what are they saying game. It’s been a while.
Women: You know a modern day women expects her man to be a vampire.
Man: I’m making you fly women! Fly! Through Paris!
Women: The least you could do is be a bit emo about it.
June 9th, 2010 at 4:45 pm
He used his magic tree to levitate them above Paris, and she’s still mad that he forgot their anniversary.
Typical woman.
June 9th, 2010 at 5:46 pm
I’d like the author’s name shinier, please.
June 9th, 2010 at 8:01 pm
So when Lifetime Channel and SyFy eventually merge, they will produce made-for-tv movies that look like that cover.
June 9th, 2010 at 8:55 pm
But why are they sitting in a gigantic pair of perspex hands?
June 9th, 2010 at 9:38 pm
Are we sure that is Ben Affleck? Looks sort of like a young Keanu Reeves to me. Perhaps this is a romantic comedy reimagining of The Matrix?
June 10th, 2010 at 2:04 am
@hampshireflyer; well noticed, now i dont even think they are floating/flying I think they’re just REALLY big.
Ben or Keanu, let’s call him Beanu, is quite comfortably sitting on that building.
June 11th, 2010 at 12:04 pm
That looks like a some early 90s new-age talk show directed by someone with a penchant for video effects. The title matches, too!
What is this book about?
June 12th, 2010 at 11:43 am
@anon
It is the third book of her Aleutian Trilogy.
The first book was a first contact story (sort of). The second showed the aliens at the height of their powers on Earth. This one is more about the disengagement from Earth. Each book is set about a hundred years on from the previous one.
A superb trilogy in my view. Pretty poor covers.
December 15th, 2010 at 7:18 pm
What did the review copy mean by “hyper-imagined”…??
Let me look up the relevant entry in my Dictionary of Convoluted Review-Speak:
—————————————————————————————————
HYPER-IMAGINED (adjective) [haipör-edjektiv] – euphemism for “the person using this word is an incompetent wordsmith trying to cover it up by inventing shoddy expressions.”
—————————————————————————————————
Ah, OK, now I get it.
May 11th, 2013 at 10:53 pm
Simone finally makes it to Paris! But it’s not everything she had hoped for.
@TW: This cover might be tagged:
cloak
haircut 100
once you see it
shiny oh so shiny
May 12th, 2013 at 5:25 am
Good catch @A.R. Yngve. And is it any worse than “strenuously intelligent”? Appears The Observer requires that all of its reviewers be Mad Libs Masters.
May 12th, 2013 at 2:07 pm
Thanks Dead Stuff! This cover went up during one of my …. periods of absence. I’ve taken your “Once You See It” and transmogrified it into the slightly more mundane “Monuments”. Needs more orange to pass the Bay Test.
August 25th, 2015 at 7:01 pm
If anyone needs me, I’ll be over here hyper-imagining things.
August 25th, 2015 at 9:36 pm
@Tom: Strenuously intelligent things, no doubt.
August 27th, 2015 at 2:19 am
Given as how the woman has clearly lost her left leg to nefarious art, may I just say . . .
@Tag Wizard, “Anatomical Issues”, please!
January 18th, 2017 at 7:21 am
Even granted it’s set in the future, why does future Paris have a huge suspension bridge? (horizon, center) And a bunch of multi-story buildings which are *shorter* than the Eiffel Tower and Arc de Triomphe? Less authentic than the Paris Hotel in Las Vegas — which perhaps is what the lady is saying.