Oct 15

I have been enjoying the delights of Helsinki this week and I have had a wonderful time. Well, except for the price of beer! 7 Euros for a pint! It makes me want to cry!

In honour I decided to search through a couple of the book shops here for the Finnish versions of some popular Sci-Fi and Fantasy. Some of them are just a little odd and a couple do make me laugh.

I hope you all enjoy these wonderful covers!

Am I supposed to be missing a finger?Click for full image

RunClick for full image

Well, we haven't gone off the map, more onto it.Click for full image

Its hard to see how badly photoshopped this one is.Click for full image

What luck.. they sent the blind soldiers after us.Click for full image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)

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43 Responses to “Finnish Mega Post”

  1. Sara BE Says:

    The second one is actually in Swedish!
    The one with the meteor is my favorite.

  2. admin Says:

    I appologise. Not speaking either language very well I just assumed! Thanks for pointing that out!

  3. Sara BE Says:

    admin – No reason to apologise. 🙂 I can’t see why you should be expected to be able to distinguish one obscure Scandinavian language from another. 😉

  4. Deborah Says:

    the blond guy on the second cover (the David Gemmell one) is going to give men in kilts a bad name! maybe it’s a protest against guys wearing ridiculously low jeans, but he’s hoicked his kilt almost up to his nipples :-S

  5. SI Says:

    I seem to remember the covers for Lawheads King Raven series being ever so slightly…. darker…

    The Eddings one is brilliant. My eyes get confused by the text on the map!

  6. Action Kate Says:

    The Eddings cover is the same one I have on my English-text version — same style for all five in the set, actually. I don’t have them in front of me to tell you the publisher. I never thought they were all that bad, honestly.

  7. Hex Says:

    I’m more concerned about that mutant version of Johnston being used on the Clarke cover. That “a”! Why would you do that?

  8. Archipictor Says:

    I just noticed for my suprice and delight that one of my very early covers was introduced here. It is the first book cover, the Robert Jordan one. I can say I am in a good company here. Thank you for picking up the book (and apologizes – well not really, I have some nice memories of doing that one).

  9. Evad Says:

    Admin – Mikä loistava idea! Meidän pitäisi lähettää ympäri maailmaa etsien kaikkein hirveä kattaa. En olisi uskonut, Englanti oli vielä muutama käyttämätön käyttää kirjakaupoista kuitenkin. Kiitos kaikille työtä tällä sivustolla. Se tekee aamut.

  10. Pertti Jarla Says:

    When in Finland, visit second hand book stores! In the 80s we saw some truly poor covers, these are most pretty competent really. Well, that one lady has a very long torso.
    Anyway, the 80’s:

  11. Herm Says:

    Agreed – time for a Good Show Sir round-the-world cruise!

  12. Brian B. Says:

    @ Evad:

    I tried putting your post into Google Translator out of curiosity. It seems to have more or less worked. But you tell us if this was what you were trying to say

    “What a great idea! We should send all over the world looking for the most awful cover. I did not think England had a few spare used bookstores, however. Thanks for all the work on this site. It makes my mornings”

    I will agree with you and thank the admin and everyone else for this fun website.

  13. Brian B. Says:

    Also, the Robert Jordan title traslates–according to Google–as “Black Men in the Tower” which, according again to Google, is not the title of any known Jordan novel. I’m don’t think this cover is one of his Wheel of Time novels. So either: something wonky in the translation, the Finnish title for this novel is substantially different that the original English language version, or possibly some combination of both.

  14. Evad Says:

    @Brian B.
    Admin – What a great idea! We should send you all over the world seeking out the most horrid covers. I’d have thought England still had a few untapped used bookstores though. Thanks for all your efforts on this website. It makes my mornings.

    Google is pretty good. It only took a few key words out.
    Sincerely though – Thanks everyone especially Admin for all the grins. I sorely need each one these days.

  15. Carolyn B Says:

    hmmm….for some reason I now have the lyrics “We’re men, we’re men in tights” stuck in my head….

  16. Justin Leego Says:

    I particularly like Thumbs-Up Friar Tuck, especially as Robin ‘Black Ninja Kiwi Suit’ Hood appears to be in on the joke – but may be laughing at Tuck rather than with him. Tut tut, disrespectful.

  17. Justin Leego Says:

    That Finnish version of a Robert Jordan book, Mustan tornin miehet, appears to be the third of a three-part Lords of Chaos translation.

  18. Justin Leego Says:

    Oh, and how could you not snap the full front-and-back cover landscape, Good Show Sir?!

  19. Brenope Says:

    Scandinavian typography worries me a little.

  20. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Pertti: “I salute you, mighty space dildo!”

  21. admin Says:

    @Archipictor – Excellent! It’s always nice to have the artist drop by to find his work here. As you can see everything above really isn’t too bad at all, apart from some bad photoshop skills which is hard to make out on the pictures. Though I’m not sure about the choice of orange text on your cover. Anyway, thanks for commenting and it’s good to see you aren’t angry! haha

    @Evad – You are very welcome! A world tour you say? That’s actually not too bad an idea. You guys going to pay for it all? 😉

  22. Pertti Jarla Says:

    Oh, I found a motherlode of 80’s stuff, the Jalava scifi series!
    Apologies in advance.

  23. Brian B. Says:

    Oh I hadn’t realized that when Jordan’s Wheel of Time novels are translated, they also split them up into smaller novels. That would explain both the different title and the need for new cover art. I think this is an interestingly stylized cover; it is very different than the pseudo-photo realistic style on all the covers for the English editions.

  24. Archipictor Says:

    @Admin – When I cannot take a joke, it is better for me to quit. The banter in this blog is always rather good-natured, and you can see that the readers actually enjoy this kind of illustrations. I have collected many art books full of cheesy fantasy illustrations and I love them. I can answer only for the illustration. I am not responsible of the typography which has never been anything near good in sci-fi books in Finland. We illustrators love to do a good job even when we are not compensated nearly well enough. I believe the people responsible of typography do not share similar views.

    I hope you have enjoyed your visit in Finland and have found more interesting books to show.

    @Brian B. – Actually I was asked by the publisher to paint with similar style as the original artist Darrell K. Sweet, who has been professional illustrator for decades . Quite a request considering it was my first commercial book cover…

  25. anonymous finn Says:

    @Brian, Google translation pretty much sucks w.r.t. Finnish. Single words may work but phrases or sentences won’t. The Finnish title is an exact translation of “Men of the Black Tower”.

    @OP, looks like you only visited the most expensive bars for beer. There are plenty of cheaper places (esp. in Kallio) but the trick is finding them.

  26. Brian B. Says:


    Wow that would be a tall order for your first commission! Perhaps it is because I’m looking at a photograph rather than the actual book, but this cover looks more painterly than the US edition covers I have. The edges are softer, the colors more muted. Personally I like this idea for the cover, to make it a bit more impressionistic.

  27. Grrr Says:

    Sadly, I have the English version of the same Eddings book Poster #5 (SI?) has.

    I think it’s a variant (ie re-draw) of book five of the Belgariad put out by Del Ray (Enchanter’s End Game ) by Laurence Schwinger cira 1984ish. I picked up a copy this year, but there are sufficient differences to make this curious.

    And, while the Jordan isn’t the greatest, at least it isn’t bland (Lord of Chaos cover, I’m looking at you).

  28. blodeuedd Says:

    Haha oh I do hate Finnish covers, did you see the Harry potter ones? They are horrible. What are they thinking

  29. Nix Says:

    While English and US covers are all flawless works of art, as the rest of this site shows.

  30. JuanPaul Says:

    #5 “Oh man, we have got such an inside joke going on. Those chrome does just won’t get it.”

  31. Bruce Munro Says:

    #1: “Native american hobo protects teenage girl from the menace of autumn breezes.”

    #2: “Pirates! Now with wolves!”

    #3: “Good friends help you quest. Great friends help you get rid of a body.”

    #4: “Against the Fall of Crap.”

    #5: “Friar Tuck breaks the Fourth Wall again.” [1]

    [1] They don’t call him the Deadpool of Sherwood Forest for nothing, after all

  32. fred Says:

    Can’t fool me, these are just classic plot spoiling Alternate Universe ASOIAF covers.

  33. B. Chiclitz Says:

    1. “Fricking tree just bit my thumb off!”

    2. “Damn foreleg is right! I just tripped over it and now my kilt’s all akilter!”

    3. “Wait, is that a tragedy mask? I thought this was a comedy.”

    4. This Pac-Man Earth.

    5. What JuanPaul (30) said a few years ago.

  34. GSS ex-noob Says:


    (damsel’s covering up the guy she just killed. Or maybe stealing his cape.)

    Wizaaaaard: I say, young lady, did you recently smite that man?!
    Damsel: No, he was this way when I found him! Honest!
    Dude: Should I hold her at sword’s-point, Wiz?

  35. THX 1139 Says:

    Hokay, let’s give this a go:

    1: He’s even manspreading with his arms.

    2: I’d stand on his other side, if I were you.

    3: “Um… someone threw away a perfectly good white boy?”

    4: Now THAT’s Lockdown sourdough.

    5: “I can’t quit you, baby!”

  36. Bruce A Munro Says:

    For some reason my first post didn’t go through. Let’s try again.

    #1: Native American Hobo protects teen girl from the menace of autumn breezes.

    #2: Pirates! Now, with wolves!

    #3: @GSS ex-noob: good friends will help you quest, great friends will help you dispose of awkward bodies while questing.

    #4: Clarke’s Against the Fall of Poo

    #5: Friar Tuck breaks the 4th wall again. (They don’t call him the Deadpool of Sherwood Forest for nothing!)

  37. Francis Boyle Says:

    @GSS ex-noob

    You’ve got it all wrong. Said damsel is the proprietor of an olde inn and the dead guy passed away peacefully in the night so she is removing the body in a such a way as not to alarm the other guests while also trying to ensure that the good Doctor of Physic (he of the white beard) gets his breakfast sausages on time and the dim looking young man with the sword is called Manuel and shenanigans ensue.

  38. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    @Francis B & GSSxn: Although there’s no solid evidence that any of the olde inn’s guests didn’t die of natural causes, I would avoid the ‘locally sourced’ breakfast sausages, just to be on the safe side.

  39. Bruce Munro Says:

    As a general rule, avoid Mystery Meat in settings where there are multiple intelligent species which don’t necessarily get along.

  40. Bruce Munro Says:


    “It’s not really cannibalism if they’re a different species” – some Orc, Troll, or Hobbit who has been down to one meal per day for a while.

  41. B. Chilitz Says:

    #3—Is there a raccoon under the Doctor of Physic’s cape?

  42. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    @Bruce: Medievel Manuel insists ‘I know noothing, I know nooothing.’

  43. JJYoyo Says:

    The AC Clarke cover looks like Earth as a giant Pac-Man

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