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Apr 22

It’s that time of the year again where people might just get a longer weekend! And that usually means an honourable mentions but unfortunately I have been pretty ill this week and have been sitting with some soup while watching TV and reading a few books!

Anyway, instead I give you a MisterBOB mega post! He’s sent in enough covers to start a book shop so here’s a few to keep your weekend going! Enjoy your holiday weekend!

DAMN this computer! This is not the p0rn I wanted!Click for full image

MisterBob Comments: A spaceman looks out his window and sees the face of GOD!
Published 1986

Funny.. I remember wanting to do that exact thing to the railway children when having to read it in school.Click for full image

MisterBOB comments: Please, do not show that teenagers can time travel by putting a plastic bag on their head.
Published 1989

It's the punk unicorn!Click for full image

MisterBOB Comments: A particolored unicorn, so start with where the horn is, as the rest is just a horse…
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.37 out of 10)
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28 Responses to “A MisterBob Mega Post”

  1. chris Says:

    That first one:

    Voice from radio: “Luke, you switched off your targeting computer! What’s wrong?”

  2. Dave Van Domelen Says:

    The rest may just be a horse, but it’s a horse of a different color!

  3. Dalton H. Says:

    For the last one: That horse looks like it has a huge tree branch for a tail.

  4. fred Says:

    If my parents named me Piswyck I don’t think I would have survived grade school.

  5. Jen Says:

    Hope you feel better soon!

  6. Phil Says:

    The Bones of God: I like the way the fontmeister has carefully curved all the type to JUST avoid the stuck-on price label.

    Unicorn: I was going to mock the obviously made-up word “particolored”… until I looked it up and found it’s a real word. I’ll just have to mock the cover art instead. Er, what a ridiculous mane! And, er, just look at those puffed sleeves.

  7. Dear Prudynce Says:

    Is that Obi-Wan on the first one?

  8. Smith Says:

    In the first one, is the pilot telling the old man “Damned space bums! I never asked you to wash my windscreen.”

  9. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The cover from A Tale of Time City MIGHT be recycled from an edition of The Virgin Suicides where the cover artist mistakenly believed plastic bags were involved.

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Was he a madman — or a Messiah?”
    THE GLENN BECK STORY

  11. arch9enius Says:

    A Tale of Time City does involve anti-radiation suits similar to clingfilm. (I wonder how many got used for fetish wear after the War Department handed them out>) aLso a time lady and unstable eras and Timey Wimeys and stuff. I recommend ‘Archers Goon’ by the same author, even though now the gas board, water board, British Telecom etc. are part of history it makes bugger all sense.

  12. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    The cover of The Particolored Unicorn is showing some serious abuse of the colors blue and purple. And what’s with Prince Charming’s bizarre combo of superpadded fancy Renaissance fair doublet and fluffy ‘seventies side-part?

    The castle in the background makes no sense in terms of scale, proportion, placement, or architecture. What are all those towers for? How would people get up them?

  13. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    BoG: if that’s meant to be the Almighty’s reflection on the spaceship’s countertop, why does it look so much like a foetus wearing a cassock?

    I can’t even start to understand the perspective/alien geometry of that space craft. What must it look like from the outside?

  14. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Thanks, MrBOB!
    1. “The Gones of Bod” would sound just as good, maybe better.

    2. a. Is that a giant blue tennis ball?
    b. Speaking of insane architecture, check out that tower—with all the tiny people
    on the veranda!
    c. Will the planet-sized green superball crush everything in its path?

    3. Love, power, adventure . . . just what order should they be in?

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    PU: The more that I look at it, the more alien seems to me to be that castle. The castle appears to be swaddled in candy floss pouring out of a sally-port that can’t be less than 60 metres high. And the port itself is dark on the inside, implying that there is a ceiling somewhere above it. Yet, smack in the middle, there is the main body of the castle itself. To the back, there’s a tower apparently floating in midair, and another down and to the left that’s…there, really, there isn’t more to it.

  16. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Edit: I stand corrected, that’s supposed to be man-eating gelatin around Castle Neuschwanstein.

  17. anon Says:

    “Compound interest in the amusingly minging intersexual facility in Grell Citi”
    Sheeple Night
    slow author of All Fawn Dot
    FETH BONES GOOD
    Was she a Meishan or a madam?

    ATOMIC TY, A LEFTIE
    windy Nanae Jones

    “CHU RIDE” COLON PORN ATTIRE
    for an adventurous quest of love ordeal in which a pinchy companion gets wang pkt on your windy tail and forces his unicorn in there

  18. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘I’m in my mom’s spaceship. Vroom, vroom.’

    ‘Get out o’ me spaceship!’

    ‘Uhn…’

    STARRING:

    Messiah Madman as Tish Simmonds

    God Bones as Tish Simmonds’ Mum

    Car as Spaceship

    Thank u for watchin g

  19. fred Says:

    A Jedi traffic warden, a bag lady, and a punk unicorn walk into a bar.

  20. THX 1139 Says:

    1: “Do you want to go to the toilet?”

    2: Freshest storytelling this side of your packed lunch.

    3: Here to par-tay!

  21. NomadUK Says:

    I guess as long as it’s not The Boner or God or The Boned of God, I’m okay with it.

  22. Tat Wood Says:

    1. Ford was waiting a long time for anyone to stop and give him a lift.

    2. Anything to stop her from singing ‘Lovefool’ again.

    3. “Piswyck’? Like the doublet and hose weren’t whimsical enough for a guy with a 60s businessman haircut?

  23. B. Chiclitz Says:

    3. The tops of his boots seem to have aploded. Bet the sleeves are next.

  24. Bruce A Munro Says:

    1. Having the spirit of your mystical tutor show up to provide advice is a normally a good thing, but not when you’re watching furry porn on your ship’s computer.

    2. Remember to properly wrap your teens to maintain freshness and prevent spoilage during time travel.

    3. Frankencorn.

    Personally, I don’t think anyone actually built that castle: it probably was created by a wizard as adventurer-bait.

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @BC: We’ll never know about the rest of his boots, since this is another artist who thinks feet (and hooves) are hard to draw.

    What d’you reckon will ‘splode third — his hairdo or the unicorn’s? Or the unicorn’s! tail?

    I would like to lobby for the “horses with hairstyles” tag. That mane and tail are definitely styled. Unless the upraised tail is because the unicorn! is, er, fertilizing the flowers.

  26. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “What happened to you?”
    “Fell into the hands of a bunch of demented makeup artists and hair stylists. But what happened to _you_?”
    “Demented Renaissance Faire costumers.”

  27. fred Says:

    3. The castle proportions are wacky. Either it’s an almost vertical ascent to the entrance or 2/3’s of it is hidden in the mist, making it taller than some of the towers.

  28. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @fred: Maybe it’s partially hidden on the other side of the hill? Which makes no sense, castles are built on top of hills, but then again … this cover makes no sense.

    Either that or it’s not real and is manifested by the (checks notes) man-eating gelatin. Gelatin is famous for not being a good building material.

    @Bruce: I think he was one of the founders of the SCA, so you’re not far wrong.

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