Apr 20


Craig Comments: Best use for a catman? Disco Slave! Don’t forget your feathers and white go-go boots!
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.91 out of 10)

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39 Responses to “The Game of Empire”

  1. James Says:

    Clever how the cage breaks out of the frame at the top….. sort of..

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    Hi-diddly-ho, neighborino! The first new Flanders novel in years!

  3. Tom Noir Says:

    At first glance I thought she was lifting up the hem of her skirt for that thing.

    “Oh yeah, show a little leg, Native American Wonder Woman! I’ve been locked in this cage a long time.”

  4. fred Says:

    If a catman is in a birdcage, and the birdcage isn’t made of iron, is it still ironic?

  5. NGpm Says:

    @THX, I’m still struggling to breath laughing at the idea of a Flanders novel. Hey Homer, would you and Marge care to come over for a friendly game of Empire?

  6. Phil Says:

    As “flandry” is in quotes, I assume it’s a euphemism. As in:

    How was the book?
    It was a bit, you know, “flandry”.

  7. Smith Says:

    Who here is not wondering at the cover of the book seen on the right with the title “Hoka! Hoka! Hoka!”?

  8. Smith Says:

    Oh and as for this one, is she saying, to pinch from Airplane!

    “I take my coffee like I take my catmen: black.”

  9. Don Hilliard Says:

    @Smith: This does it.

    (Were the Hoka books not deliberate comedy, I’d probably submit the cover of its previous printing Earthman’s Burden hereabouts.)

  10. Don Hilliard Says:

    Or, er, not. Try again.

  11. Dear Prudynce Says:

    Her name’s Diana and she looks like Wonder Woman…Funny that. And what does “Flandry” mean and why is it in quotes?

  12. Adam Roberts Says:

    If they can source regular-sized ‘E’s for ‘GAME’ why can’t they for ‘EMPIRE’? Did the supply of regular-sized dry up, and they had to make do with mega?

  13. NGpm Says:

    @Adam: I believe that the mighty mighty E’s are intended to be representative of Doric columns, and therefore indicative of a mighty EmpirE like RomE or GreecE.

  14. Dalton H. Says:

    In the name of Hera, dance in my 60’s club and do it in a cage hanging on nothing!

  15. Dear Prudynce Says:

    The cage is hanging from the I in Empire.

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “The first new Flandry novel in years!”
    Do I detect a note of resentment from the copy editor…?

  17. arch9enius Says:

    Is Diana as round heeled as her father?

  18. Beth Says:

    I thot I saw a puddy tat! …*waggles eyebrows*…

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘So now tell me what you want, what you really really want.’

    ‘Well I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want…is to be LET OUT OF THIS BLOODY CAGE!’

  20. Anna T. Says:

    That man seems to have met with an unfortunate accident that left him looking like a cross between a catperson and a monkey. The woman doesn’t seem very understanding.

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The Last Days Of Disco

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    So shiny!

    Border within border!

    The cage hook, breaking frame, suspended from the title!

    Lace up white go-go boots on a dominatrix!

    This book cover has EVERYTHING! (/Stefon)

    The Amazon (how appropriate) blurb says she has a “faithful Tigery companion”. So she’s keeping her companion in a cage??

  23. Tat Wood Says:

    Sir Dominic Flandry’s little girl was into Marvel Superhero Cosplay but the publishers took legal advice on the cover-art.

    (Apparently, this book was modelled on Kipling, so presumably that’s Shere Khan rather than a supermarket own-brand T’Challa).

  24. Tor Mented Says:

    @Tat: It’s Shere Khan with Cher Can’t.

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I like how one of our ratings here is “That belongs in a gold leaf picture frame”.

    And here it is.

    @Tor: GSS!! I award you one internet. Sorry about the toxic bits.

    Also your comment got a chuckle from Mr. ex-n, which is like a standing ovation from average folk. You really did sum this cover up perfectly.

    Mr. xn also joins me in wondering why this cover is so completely 60s when the book was published in ’84. The first thing he said was “Go-go boots?”

    @Tat: pushes glasses up nose Well, actually, Wonder Woman is a DC property, not Marvel.

    Of course, this is from (say it with me)
    BAEN! stripper music and growling

  26. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Someone needs to find a dead-tree version of this book.

    It’s right up there with Hrossak:Tarakoosh! or whatever that one was for Gibberish Title.

    I don’t think you can say that title unless you’ve got a stonking great sinus infection and nasal congestion, or you’ve recently been punched in the nose by an expert.

    And the main character’s going by that? How can people even talk to or about her?

    (The author, I note, is near thirty, a college graduate, and still lives with her mother. One of the rave reviews is from her aunt.)

  27. Mellie M. Says:

    If you’re Poul Anderson, it’s “hoka, hoka, hoka!”

    If you’re a Muppet, it’s “wakka-wakka-wakka!”

    If you’re Chewbacca, it’s “wooka-wooka-wooka!”

    If you’re a betting man, it’s “poka-poka-poka!”

    If you hate Batman, it’s “Joka-Joka-Joka!”

    If you have grease stains, it’s “soaka-soaka-soaka!”

    You know… I really think I could go on like this forever.

  28. Mellie M Says:

    If you’re a basket, it’s “wicka-wicka-wicka..”

    If you crave Twinkies, it’s “toka-toka-toka…”

    If you’re a toy, it’s “Tonka-Tonka-Tonka…”

    Shut up, brain. Shut up, shut up.

  29. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Hush up, Mellie, or we’ll be forced to put on our go-go boots and lock you in a cage. With a gag. And not in a fun way, either.

  30. THX 1138 Says:

    Does the game of Empire have isometric 3D like its predecessor? And speech quotes from the movie, too?

  31. THX 1138 Says:

    Wait a sec… On the left: “Earthman’s…” What? The curiosity is eating me up inside!

  32. THX 1138 Says:

    It’s OK, I found it – Earthman’s Burden. And that cover: multiple bear wielding opportunities…

  33. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @THX (30): Ooh, that is a classic video game callback, sir. I had the game of Empire on my Atari. No catmen, just speeders.

    I’m pretty sure we’ve had a cover of one of the Hoka books here, which means it could use the shiny new “bear-wielding” tag. I’ve flagged a couple others lately but no love from Tag Wiz. ūüôĀ

  34. GSS ex-noob Says:


    (Looking for these made me wonder just how many times Baen’s repackaged (har) Flandry.)

  35. GSS ex-noob Says:

    And more bear-wielding?

  36. GSS ex-noob Says:

    And more?

    (Looking for these made me wonder just how many times Baen’s repackaged (har) Flandry.)

  37. Bruce A Munro Says:

    So the Game of Empire is…kinky?

    GSS@22: maybe he’s loyal because she lets him out of the cage?

  38. GSS ex-noob Says:

    TW: Booties! She wears booties with every outfit.
    (I almost typed “boobies”)

  39. DaveM Says:

    “He was a catman in a cage.
    She was the last surviving member of an Abba tribute band.
    Together, they were the new ‘Flandry’.”

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