Aug 29
Well today is a bank holiday and I completely forgot about it. Almost got up to go to work! Almost…
So for all your enjoyment here is a few covers that I believe make the Honourable Mentions standard! Have a good holiday for those who remembered!
Click for full imageDarkZlorf Comments: I’m sure I left my tank parked around here?
Published 1979
Click for full imageCompletely stolen from the wonderful Awful Library Books, but because the top left is clearly a copy of Keith Parkinson’s Dragons of War, I thought it too good not to mention! Thanks to John for letting me know about it!
Click for full imageSo I found this is in a touristy shop in the wonderful San Diego… paper dolls… what’s with that? Anyway, I had hours of fun recreating all my covers that day!
Published 2010
(Average: 7.65 out of 10)
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August 29th, 2011 at 9:14 am
OK, I give up, who is the paper doll action star on the left supposed to be? I wouldn’t have minded seeing Conan with a handbag as well.
August 29th, 2011 at 10:10 am
SWORD OF FATE cover:
“This is your brain on Baen Books. Any questions?”
AWESOME SEGA GENESIS SECRETS cover:
Eeew! That wizard’s got some sticky goo in his beard…
ACTION STARS PAPER DOLLS cover:
When Philip K. Dick wrote about people taking drugs and playing with “Perky Pat” dolls, he was obviously making a visionary prophetic statement about America’s addiction to dolls (sorry, “action figures”)…
August 29th, 2011 at 10:11 am
A man wears a small tank as a hat, or a huge man wears a standard tank. Exactly the image that springs to mind when I see the name Denis Wheatley.
August 29th, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Judging from how deformed he looks, it’s obvious that Tank Head Man in The Sword Of Fate is some sort of Phantom Of The Opera type dude. That tank mask is there to hide his hideous birth defects from the solider he loves.
August 29th, 2011 at 5:50 pm
Sword of Fate – Beer Goggles of Doom (with mandatory safety suspenders)
Action Stars – And if your head explodes from too many Arnold jokes too…
August 30th, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Um. In America a tanktop is a singlet. I guess my instruction to the artist were not clear. Oh dear.
September 10th, 2011 at 6:19 am
THX, I believe that is Angelina Jolie as “Mrs. Smith”, but you are forgiven any confusion. Google the same publisher’s “Classic TV Moms Paper Dolls” and explain to me why Tom Hanks’ character from “Bosom Buddies” is included among Mrss. Cleaver, Bundy, and Brady.
Wait, Peg Bundy is a classic TV mom?
September 12th, 2011 at 12:06 pm
Thanks Steve, I have seen that movie but remember almost nothing about it.
September 24th, 2011 at 1:48 am
There are TWO artists that were ripped off for the Awesome Sega Genesis Secrets. The first was Keith Parkinson (not Robinson), and the other is Clyde Caldwell, from his painting Dragon of Desolation.
September 24th, 2011 at 1:53 am
Well noticed Joe! Wonder where the heck I got Robinson from…
August 25th, 2015 at 2:38 am
That woman next to Conan does not, by any stretch of the imagination, look like an action star. She looks like a supermodel. To make her look more like an action star, give her an athletic build, practical clothing and remove the eternally perfect makeup.
Also, what LSD trip could “Tankhead” possibly have come from?
May 29th, 2020 at 7:01 am
1. I would imagine there’d be a sword somewhere on this cover, but dang me if I can find it!
2. The most Awesome Genesis Secret would explain his eyebrows.
3. “I wonder if she’ll trade garters with me. Hers seem to work much better.”
May 29th, 2020 at 12:20 pm
I giddily await Action Stars 3D Printables
May 29th, 2020 at 1:41 pm
“Sword of Fate” guy has forgotten the Golden Rule of Fashion: You’re never fully dressed without a smile.”
The wizard on the cover of “Awesome SEGA Genesis Secrets” reminds us that without a proper ergonomic chair extended gaming sessions can age you pretty quickly.
The woman on the left of the cover for “Action Stars/Paper Dolls” looks like Claudia Christian. The woman on the right may also be Claudia Christian. However, “packin’ heat” + “paper” may not be a good combination for the longevity of this collection.
May 30th, 2020 at 5:55 am
Apparently the fate of the sword was to lose to a tank?
@fred: Wouldn’t those just be DIY action figures?
May 30th, 2020 at 11:00 pm
#1: a serious misunderstanding of the term “headcanon?”
#2: As Yngve points out at #2, that wizard has clearly been sitting in that chair for a long, long time, to the point where he’s adhering to it. I wonder about his restroom arrangements.
#3: Conan vs. La Femme Nikita?
May 31st, 2020 at 8:01 am
If Angelina takes a few steps back, my money’s on her with that clash of weapons. She’s probably seen “Raiders of the Lost Ark”.
And she knows a loaded gun is probably the only way to keep Ah-nold at bay. Maybe that’s why he’s standing there quietly.
I’m really dubious about the image and author matching on #1. Shouldn’t there be a naked bimbo conjuring up Satan with The Sword of Fate instead?
May 31st, 2020 at 8:02 am
#1: upon closer inspection, it really doesn’t look like there’s room for a full human head inside that tank. Perhaps rather than a man wearing a tank, it’s a tank wearing a decerberate human, Kaldane [1]-style.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaldane