Mar 19

I pick this women! Her body is 3/4 legs!Click for full image

Colette’s Art Direction: We need to convey a Utopian future, so nothing represents that better than a pastel circuit-board Lego city with buildings encased in test tubes. Add a happy gorilla-headed torso man carrying a life-like unitard-wearing sex doll. Ooh, and lasers! And… and shoulder pads!
Published 1982
Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.53 out of 10)

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28 Responses to “Return from the Stars”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    The (green font on yellow, you’ll note) tag reads, “Welcome home. You can’t even begin to imagine what’s happened…”

    I assume that’s the dialogue from the cardstock-robot on the left. Ten says this is a zany college comedy and the fellow in the mask is his new room-mate.

  2. Robert Moore Says:

    “Hey! hey! we’re the monkees…!”

  3. THX 1138 Says:

    The gorilla my dreams?

  4. fred Says:

    I imagine a chemically enhanced director produced a video of a surgically enhanced Pat Benatar doing a cover version of “New York New York”.

  5. Adam Roberts Says:

    I reckon he’s about to bung her in the futuristic waste-bin on the right.

  6. Adam Roberts Says:

    And the Rhianna-bot sang: ‘Carried by my gorilla -illa -illa …’

  7. Yoss Says:

    In the story, returning astronauts are seen as primitive. Time dilation and whatnot — just a few years have passed for the astronauts and a hundred or more years have passed on Earth. So in that sense I get it, but uhhh…. wow that’s just weird. Lem being Polish I almost have to wonder if this borrows from the Polish design/illustration sense that often seems zany in a literal sort of way to me. If you’ve ever seen that collection of 50 Polish posters for American movies you know what I’m talking about.

    Well there’s my attempt to rationalize it.

  8. Ian Says:

    Worst robot ever!! The guy looks a little legless, maybe he is wading through techno-water.

  9. A.R.Yngve Says:

    A line pilfered from MST 3000 is appropriate here:

    So in the future, there’s absolutely no shame?

  10. Smith Says:

    Gorillas in the Mist 2: Gorillas Take Manhattan

  11. Smith Says:

    Get your hands off me you damn dirty ape!

  12. mrhairyman Says:

    Is it me, or is Gorilla-man wearing a nappy?

  13. Phil Says:

    Seen only in a passing glance, I at first saw the head of Darth Vader on the body of a Stormtrooper. Then my eyes focused and I realised this is something far, far greater. Good show, Sir!

  14. december Says:

    Zoom in and look at her hair. In the future, it just takes one shampoo to achieve a delightful shiny rainbow effect!

  15. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    “Hey guys, on my trip back from the stars, look what I picked up!”

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    With a special guest appearance by Steve from Minecraft!

  17. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “Hey, no, wait, I’m the robot, the trash can’s over there on the other side. Get that Burger King bag away from me!”

  18. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “Trapezoid Head”—perhaps my favorite tag of all time.

  19. fred Says:

    Stanislaw Lem needs mountains to support his name. His spirit is as heavy as it is deep.

  20. Bibliomancer Says:

    Dr Zaius is apparently standing knee-deep in some futuristic sewer.

  21. Anna T. Says:

    I assume the woman is deeply shocked by what Earth has turned into while she’s away. That would explain why she’s so limp.

  22. Tat Wood Says:

    @Anna T.:Of course she’s shocked. When she left, she looked like Charlton Heston.

  23. JuanPaul Says:

    “Get your well manicured hands on me, you damn sexy ape!”

  24. Tor Mented Says:

    Stanislaw Lem had an uncanny talent for predicting the future: In this case, the Human Barbie woman and bobblehead dolls.

  25. Tor Mented Says:

    Regarding the alt-text: I wondered what happened to the ape man’s legs. Then I realized that what they took off him, they added to the woman.

  26. Ray P Says:

    First, test-tube babies, next, test-tube skyscrapers.

  27. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    This must be Robot Monster, but inverted.

  28. Francis Boyle Says:

    Skyscrapers in test tubes – because windows are so old-fashioned.

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