Mar 20

The dangers of flying in a space golf course.Click for full image

Mangraa’s Art Direction: What? The cover is due TOMORROW? OK, um.. a planet, but make it space-agey. Like that Epcot ball thing, just don’t get us sued. Something new … vampire bat spaceship! Perfect. Slap some starbursts and a Jupiter on there, and we can get back to drinking.
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.21 out of 10)

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16 Responses to “The Planet Masters”

  1. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Uh-oh… spaceship boils. That’s what you get for mingling with strange, dirty spaceships…

  2. A.R.Yngve Says:

    It’s got to be one of those “fold-ins” from MAD Magazine! Fold the cover so that A meets B, and you’ll see…

    …a crappy book cover, only narrower.

  3. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    Honest to goodness, I read the author’s name as “Alien World.”

  4. THX 1138 Says:

    “Hello, Planet Masters? Yes, I’d like one of your Quattro Formaggi Planets, with a garlic bread. And if you don’t deliver within half an hour it’s free, right?”

  5. fred Says:

    The sense of depth on the spaceship is gobsmackingly awful. I assume it is supposed to look like a Klingon Bird of Prey but…….doesn’t.

  6. Phil Says:

    The artwork might be upside down. There’s just no way of telling.

  7. SI Says:

    Uh oh here comes those, ‘planet masters!’ Might as well buy yourself a disco ball if you go with those cowboy builders!

  8. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    Oh, those are eyes peering out of the holes, I think. Is this intended to be the world’s dumbest Halloween costume? Or some particularly stupid rip-off of the Trojan horse, wherein the SpaceCot Dome being shipped off to the unsuspecting distant planet turns out to not be full of rides and educational exhibits, but is in fact inhabited by a very irritable, very cramped, very stanky giant moron (who saw no harm in rolling down the windows during the ride over, and can apparently survive in a vacuum) who fails to inflict his idiotic vengeance upon the new world due to his legs cramping like crazy the second he tried to stand up.

  9. Vic Says:

    “Hey guys! Look what I found! What do you mean it’s opening?”

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    In the Year 2000… in the Year 2000…!!

    – Rush Limbaugh’s head will have swollen to such a dangerous size, that a spaceship tugs him away from Earth to save mankind.

    In the Year 2000… in the Year 2000…!!

    – The new Orbital EPCOT Center proves a disastrous flop.

    In the Year 2000… in the Year 2000…!!

    – Jean-Paul Gaultier designs his first spacecruiser, and in a clever PR stunt invites George Takei to a free seat on its maiden voyage — but Takei declines, stating that the ship is just “too gay.”

  11. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    Rush Limbaugh? I do believe you mean Newt Gingrich.

    Or perhaps at some unknown point in the future, they travel too close to each other, and the combined gravitational pull of their heads ends up merging them into a single being of total horror.

  12. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Jerk of all Trades: I feel a chill down my spine reading your comment. For real.
    (Good one, BTW. :))

  13. Toco Says:

    There’s only one Planet Masters, and that’s a dice game!

  14. FearöfMusic Says:

    Buckminster Fuller in Spaaaaaaaace!

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Is Jupiter blowing a raspberry?

  16. anon Says:

    On that note, all I can think of is Spaceballs.

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