Mar 26

Don't move! There's a tiny man with a sword on your shoulder!Click for full image

Don Comments: Oi! Peter Pan! When you and your adventuring companion are being attacked by a mutant reptile puma with a bad case of sunburn, and said companion is trying to fight it off with his sword held backwards…probably not the best time to be checking out his butt. Nice though it is.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.55 out of 10)

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23 Responses to “Eye of the Zodiac”

  1. Phil Says:

    Behind you! A man with a TING!less sword and a claw for a hand. No good trying to look like a NEXT GENERATION Romulan if you can’t get your eyebrows right.

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Should I tell him he’s got the edged bit of the blade pointed towards himself?’

    I blame the font for why I read ‘Dumarest of the Terra’ as ‘Dumb Arrest of the Terra.’

  3. Smith Says:

    Dum and Dumarest: When Spock met Lloyd.

  4. Hep C Says:

    The blue something creature looks as if it has no skin. So I suppose it doesn’t really matter whether the space musketeer holds his sword backwards. He can cause enough pain event with a blunt blade. I’m not sure, however, how he can stand so erect on that ridiculous slope.

  5. THX 1138 Says:

    Judging by that cover the last fifty pages after the encounter with the monster were left blank. Not much point in going on after that, there would be nobody but the monster left.

    Also, would the Demarest of Terra mean they all ended up falling on their arses? Or is that joke unbelievably obscure?

  6. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Smith at #3 wins HANDS DOWN. I laughed so hard my neighbors called and asked what was wrong.

  7. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Isn’t that Mr. B Natural from the MST3K short?

  8. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Oh, and someone should tell the elf that you can’t glance behind your own head.

  9. Tom Noir Says:

    Does it really surprise me that the ‘Dumberest of Terra’ encompasses 13 volumes? No.

  10. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    Wasn’t there a British sci fi show where women had hair like that, only purple?

    Something about this reminds me of old ads for Breck shampoo in the 1940s.

    Note how the artist gave the foreground figure caterpillar-like eyelashes, so you won’t have any gender confusion.

  11. Jon Says:

    Someone should tell Superman there that he’s the man of steel…he doesn’t really need a sword, let alone one held backwards.

    Anyone else get the feeling that Peter Pan there is very concerned about something just out of frame?

    Like, maybe someone about to pick up the book with the intent to purchase it. “No, don’t! Save yourself!”

  12. Donald Simmons Says:

    9: Tom Noir

    There’s actually 33 novels in the series, a friend of mine was a big fan of them

  13. Muttley Says:

    @Alessandra: UFO, the Gerry Anderson series prior to Space:1999 (or Space: £19.99 as it often seemed)

  14. fred Says:

    Dumarest must be Terran for dandruff.

  15. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    @Donald Simmons: So is Dumarest the girl with the Mae West eyes or the garage mechanic who’s about to cut his own hand off?

  16. Don Hilliard Says:

    Alessandra@10: That was Gerry Anderson’s UFO with the purple wigs.

  17. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    I can’t decide of he’s all “OH MY GOD, is that the sound of some hideously deformed space-hero-man trying to fight a skinless, sunburnt space-lion-lizard with his sword on backwards? If only I could remember how to turn around and stop imagining what his ass looks like! Since I can’t possibly be seeing it, muhc less this scene, unless I’m some kind of space-warping giant!”, or if maybe this scene is all just a peek into the contents of his frenzied imagination/masturbatory fantasies.

  18. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Hey watch it with that sword. You nearly nicked my ear!

  19. Bruce A Munro Says:

    I don’t think they’re trying to check out Dumberrest of Terra’s butt: it looks to me like they’re giving the side-eye to the whole scene behind them, the latex pantherlizard, the rather strange sword technique, and the mountain slope of giant celery stalks left too long in the fridge, and are about to go “Really???”

    Dumarest is definitely a guy: the series started in 1967, a time when a female adventurer crossing the galaxy world by world while battling strange enemies would have been as baffling to most male readers as a chess-playing moose or pole-vaulting koala.

  20. fred Says:

    You could spend a day just looking at all the variant covers in this series. Dumarest is portrayed as everything from a Conanesque barbarian to an everyday Joe. Clothing optional is common.

  21. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Eddie Munster’s legacy endures.

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The bugged-out eyeballs of whoever that is with the stupid haircut are the worst part of this, and that’s saying something.

    This doesn’t really say “manly man traveling the spaceways doing manly things” to me.

    @Bruce: The person is definitely thinking either/or “oh no” “really?” Also GSS to your description of the elements of the cover.

    @fred: I like how the last one just gives up for the generic cover they use on all their ebooks.

  23. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @GSS ex-noob: well, I don’t think Dumarest comes across as grossly macho [1], but he did have an entire sentient planet fall for him once.

    [1] This comes from my vast knowledge obtained from reading one Dumarest book and part of another.

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