Mar 22

Golden Swan disapproves of men touching themselves!Click for full image

GK Comments: Which came first? The golden swan or the golden egg?
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.08 out of 10)

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26 Responses to “The Golden Swan”

  1. Phil Says:

    Not a good idea to sit that close to a swan, especially when you only have a thong for protection.

    The text on this cover is pretty dire. The typesetter couldn’t even be bothered to use italics for previous book titles, and just underlined instead.

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Phil: dire text indeed. All mushed together at one side, as if they painted Necky the Swan first, and were left with limited space.

    It’s not just the neck of that animal that bothers me. It’s more time-consuming than difficult technically to do birds’ wings. But, in sharp contrast (or sharp focus?) to the remainder of the realistic cover, the artist turned the wings into broad-stroke smears. Possibly so she could put more time into her signature?

  3. THX 1138 Says:

    Watch out, those things can break your… er, arm! That’s it, your arm!

  4. Jaouad Says:

    The nekkid dude is really rather well-executed, though. Perhaps we are to assume that he is the only ‘real’ thing in the picture (as supported by the fact that his leg extends out of the frame), and that the swan and the rest of it is dreamed up by him as he… er, touches himself.

  5. L.B. Says:

    He’s singing to the swan…

    “I love myself, I want you to love me…”

    And the swan’s flying away because it can’t stand his voice.

  6. Tom Noir Says:

    We have to cut the cover-designer some slack on the fonts – he clearly did not want readers to miss the cover image in all its swan-wanking glory.

  7. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    I think I have to quote MST 3K here:

    “Oh now it’s almost like that’s gratuitous!”

  8. Vic Says:

    “Leta and the Swan” yaoi style.

  9. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    @Deadstuffwithbigteeth: I think the artist did put a lot of work into the swan’s wings. If you look, you can see she has the feathers arranged properly, with shadows of the quills and the multiple layers of feathers all with light shining from behind. It’s quite impressively done, really.

    Pity about the image overall.

  10. Yoss Says:

    Not much reaction on his part though. I know if I were in his place the scene would skew toward chaotic scrambling rather than composure. He must get buzzed by massive golden swans on a regular basis. Or he’s finally gone blind.

  11. fred Says:

    Everything on this cover is at the same angle. Male model, swan, background rocks, wave crest on far left.

  12. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I can’t believe no one else made the obvious pun:


  13. Tom Noir Says:

    Now we have to kill you.

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Dying is easy, comedy is hard. ;-P

    But seriously, is this the gayest book cover we’ve seen so far?

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @A.R.: Your kilometrage may vary, but I am still of the opinion that The Fetch was queerer than folk. Maybe if the swan were eyeing the hunk, and/or there were another phallic rock formation in the background, I might change my mind.

    @admin: After flipping back to Merlin’s Ring, maybe there should be subdivisions within Strange Animals? Birds of a Different Feather, Rodents of Unusual Sizes, etc.

  16. Yoss Says:

    And don’t forget Manseed. I remember seeing that one in a thrift store and thinking “That looks like something that belongs at goodshowsir.” Then coincidentally it showed up here a week or two later.

  17. Muttley Says:

    “Leave it out! I’m not stopping here. I’m off to that Stephen Pearson painting in Abigail’s Party, at least that’s not pornographic”

  18. Jane Says:

    Now we know what killed the Iceman.

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Cover blurb written by KGB — revealing nothing! Contents of book is state secret!

  20. qwidge Says:

    Everyone’s so focused on the swan that no one has notices the mess that is his left hand!? It looks like he’s got a right hand on there or something!

  21. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    Hmmm. Also that his left arm is about 2/3 the length it ought to be.

  22. Tom Noir Says:

    Holy crap. I’d forgotten about Mr. Looking At Swans One-Handed.

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    It’s the breastbone! It’s not the wings themselves that have bothered me, it’s that the bird has a big divot right where its sternum ought to be. And the axillae are all pinched out of existence.

  24. anon Says:

    A naked guy fondles himself to a swan. Would you read this on a bus?

  25. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Well, it could’ve been worse: The tagline “A Novel Of Golden Swan Fellowship”

  26. Jon K. Says:

    On first sight, I read “Crowning” as “Growning” and couldn’t for the life of me figure out why either Golden Swan or Mr. Scopin’-Out-Golden-Swan would be Growning…. 😉

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