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Jul 14

Mom and Dad, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend.Click for larger image

Swordmistress of Victoria's SecretClick for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday: Ravin’ Raven Rave

Good Show Sir Comments: Quoth the Raven: “Who’s a whore?”

1. When it came to naming time, it was gonna be either “Raven” or “Great Tit”

2. Better not get any blood on this outfit. It’s a bitch to dry clean.

Thanks to Arthur Dent for the first.

Published 1978, 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.67 out of 10)
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18 Responses to “Raven, Swordmistress of Chaos”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    1: Don’t follow Janet Jackson’s fashion tips.

    2: When even your horse can’t look you in the eye.

  2. fred Says:

    If Chaos gave a damn about covers she should have been given a pegasi or a Harley.

  3. Lillie Awesome Says:

    Those terrible boots.

  4. Tat Wood Says:

    She looked different on telly https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HROR9wdOvr4 but Worjo totally rocked that look.

    @Lillie: beats Macnee and Blackman’s effort

  5. Francis Boyle Says:

    I have no idea what’s going on with the right arm in #1. Is it the consequence of, or the requirement for, having legions fall under your blade?

  6. Ryan Says:

    What is the purpose of the danging ball/watch on a chain attached to Raven’s Sword in No. 1? Other than, of course, creating more chaos.

  7. fred Says:

    @ 6. Ryan – A counterweight to keep her sword balanced at the correct drawing angle when sheathed?

  8. fred Says:

    It looks like she has the official single breasted Amazon thing going on in the first cover but not the second.

  9. Bibliomancer Says:

    1. Poor dear, she spent so much on those boots she couldn’t afford a proper blouse.

    2. Strapping outfit!

  10. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I looked at the title and thought, “There’s someone’s teenage fantasy.” It’s like they took all the words and art elements that would appeal to 13 year old boys of the late 70s and churned out pulp junk based on them.

    looks at both covers and the dates And I was right.

    1) I see the giant sword has thrown her pelvis out of joint.

    2) Isn’t that a short horse? More of a pony?
    And is she walking alongside it because her pelvis and spine are still out of whack, so she can’t ride?

  11. JuanPaul Says:

    1. everyone has been so busy looking at her boob that they didn’t notice she has a belt full of shuriken.

    2. I’ve seen fishnet stocking, but never fishnet frocking.

  12. Ryan Says:

    @7. Fred – Surely every step she takes will cause the sword to bounce as it slaps the back of her thighs, and thus the danging ball/watch on a chain will slap her kneecaps / shins / flappy boots ever more wildly as she walks. So perhaps the sword will stay in balance, but from the knees down? Chaos!

  13. Bruce A Munro Says:

    I guess the job of Swordmistress of Chaos comes with a lifetime “won’t get stabbed or shot with arrows” guarantee as part of your employment contract, because that outfit is about as suitable for combat as hemophilia is for running through bramble bushes.

  14. Tat Wood Says:

    @Bruce: it’s OK, she’s armed with lasers and a double-bass https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xckBwPdo1c
    (And a fairly fearsome wind-machine.)

  15. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Tat Wood: that bass certainly could double as a full body projectile shield.

    @THX 1139: Birder points! Things do seem to have come downhill from the first cover. Then she was posing boldly and bustily, big ol’ flower in her hair, her bird on hand, big ol’ cape flapping (for some reason in the opposite direction to her hair): now she’s crouched uncomfortably, glaring at someone off screen (“what the hell are you looking at”) and drawing her sword to do the phallic sword thing, while holding onto a clearly unhappy horse, and her raven seems at the point of flying off the cover entirely.

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    1. @GSSxn—that’s a classic jaunty hip to top off them Terrible Boots.

    2. Arms-a-Bimbo!

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @BC: of course! Not that we have a tag for that. How she manages to move with a permanently jaunty hip is quite the puzzle.

    @Bruce: Guess things didn’t go so well in the first book. She lost her dangling thingy, cape, and wind machines, the bird’s had enough, the horse hates her… maybe bird and horse are afraid of the ghosts?

  18. A. R. Yngve Says:

    “My lord, that warrior-woman is too much for our troops to handle!”

    “Fools! Aim at the exposed area!”

    “Why… I never thought of that. We could aim our weapons at the only spot where she isn’t wearing any armor!”

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