Jun 19

Can' bush...really.... hurts....Click for slightly larger image

Joachim’s Art Direction: A man with no hips holding his gun, and a thorny branch…
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)

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34 Responses to “A Feast Unknown”

  1. SI Says:

    This books has had some great covers in it’s day:

    Especially this one:


  2. Mat Says:

    Looks like Richard Corben – a pretty great comics illustrator, though prone to the no hips thing.

  3. Phil Says:

    This must be the same guy from yesterday ( after a further ten years on steroids. They say steroids can make things shrink, but I didn’t know they were talking about hips.

  4. Smith Says:

    I think the “Adults only” warning coupled with the near nude chap holding his gun and with wood makes this one to savour reading on the bus or tube, or anywhere the general public can speculate on precisely what the content might be.

  5. THX 1138 Says:

    “I’m afraid my Arnold Schwarzenegger workout record only had one side – the bit about the legs was blank.”

  6. Chris Reynolds Says:

    I have a copy of this book. (The Playboy press cover from SI’s thumbnails link). It’s basically Tarzan/Doc Savage slash fiction. The adults-only label is well-deserved, but the book manages to be exciting and hilarious with it. Make sure to read the reviews at

  7. Jaouad Says:

    Hah. If he weren’t holding his big gun, I’m sure his knuckles would be dragging across the ground. The artist really got carried away here doing the arms and, especially, hands. To make up for the hips, I suppose.

    This is apparently one of the few covers for this book that doesn’t show both protagonists going at it. A feast like that wouldn’t be exactly unknown, though.

  8. Frank Says: really WAS a gun in his invisible pocket!!!

  9. Shannon Says:

    Wow, that’s a big…….gun.

  10. Jane Says:

    Our top-heavy hero is undone by a five mph breeze.

  11. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Pshaw. Another gun nut overcompensating for his small… uh, hips.

  12. Adam Roberts Says:

    Half man, half chocolate-ice-cream-bar-on-a-stick, he was … FEAST!

  13. Hep C Says:

    Unless this is a book about a steroid-infused Neanderthal, who suffers from hand elephantiasis and lower torso dwarfism, who somehow found a rifle and doesn’t know what to do with it, this cover is really hard to explain.

    But I somehow doubt that the aforementioned plot might be accurate.

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Grog have very small dinky! But Grog in luck! For Grog use boom-stick as marital aid! “

  15. Jaouad Says:

    Well, you know what they say. If a guy has big hands…
    Or was that big feet?

  16. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    It looks like he’s scrunching his legs together because he has to pee. That rifle looks like he got it from the planet of the apes.

  17. Anna T. Says:

    It seems he’s had his pelvis removed. And I don’t care if that is Tarzan, because why is he going hunting in his pants? Because with that rifle, you can barely SEE his pants! So it looks like he’s naked. For those unaware, it is decidedly unadvisable to go traipsing in any kind of wilderness naked OR in your pants. In the BRITISH sense, mind.

  18. Calyx Says:

    PJF illustrator borrows top half of ‘Conan’ish picture, adds rifle, fails with the leather knickers, bodges it with grass. Excellent.

  19. Bruce A Munro Says:

    ” As the minuteness of the parts formed a great hindrance to my speed, I resolved, contrary to my first intention, to make the being of a gigantic stature, that is to say, about eight feet in height, and proportionably large.” – Dr. Frankenstein

    Unfortunately, he had only finished the top half when a refrigeration failure meant he had to finish the job with short people.

  20. THX 1139 Says:

    Is this Carrot from Discworld? Now I see!

  21. fred Says:

    Sos the Rope made me vote a 10 on this cover or he’d strangle me.

  22. Michael Toland Says:

    Neither of those links work for me, though I guess they did for everyone else. But I searched the PJF website and found this page:

    And that is indeed Richard Corben’s work.

  23. Bob Says:

    A world where no one is hip. Where hipsters are shot on sight.

  24. fred Says:

    Wrap around, original auctioned in 2004.

  25. Tor Mented Says:

    We can certainly see the hands, but …
    The Feet Unknown.

  26. Tat Wood Says:

    How knock-kneed must he have been before joining the gym, for it to still be visible with such mighty thews?

  27. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Is he also afflicted with “Bighanditis” or is that just a side effect of “Bigtopitis”?

  28. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The Hips Unknown.

    He never does leg day.

    The combo of orange letters on grody-green background is… not good.

    @Bruce: good reference! (It’s twue!)

    @Michael: good link.

    @THX: Oi! Don’t insult Carrot like that!

    @fred: He’s so busy posing with his boom stick that he hasn’t noticed the lion BEHIND HIM!

    @BC: I vote Bignhanditis too. Maybe it goes along with his other structural deformities like no hips, small legs, and knock knees. But if he’s the Tarzan-analog, maybe we can chalk it up to British nobility inbreeding.

  29. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Given Tarzan hardly ever uses a gun, save when killing German troops [1], I am forced to conclude that it is a _metaphorical_ gun.

    IIRC, the story involves a secret cabal of immortals, Tarzan and Doc Savage being recent joiners, and IIRC there’s a ritual where the male members have to eat one of their own nuts (and I’m not talking pecans) [2]. If that’s the Feast Unknown, it’s really more a Feast I’d Rather not Know About.


    [2] They grow back after a while: one of the benefits of immortality.

  30. THX 1139 Says:

    @Bruce: I think we have an explanation for the unusual stance adopted on this cover.

  31. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @THX: agreed!

  32. Tat Wood Says:

    @Bruce: so this is the one time Philip Jose Farmer wasn’t writing a load of bollocks?

  33. fred Says:

    More lamb fries.

  34. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: only half a load.

    @fred: Rocky Mountain Oysters, or I guess in this case Kilimanjaro Mountain Oysters.

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