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Oct 25

Death Trek

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Death Trek's hero later had his damsel taken away from him amid allegations of steroid abuse.Click for full image

MisterBOB Comments: Looks like it’s been over-painted until the paint has turned to mud.
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.78 out of 10)
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27 Responses to “Death Trek”

  1. Adam Roberts Says:
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:03 am

    Ah Jeffrey MassiveLensFlare. One of my favourite authors.

  2. DaveM Says:
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:47 am

    Vantro’s forearms are ridiculously skinny for the amount of muscle definition. Maybe he’s got really small bones?

  3. Tat Wood Says:
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:39 am

    The Richard Dadd/ Boris Vallejo crossover we’ve all been awaiting – the Faerie Feller’s Monster Truck.

  4. THX 1138 Says:
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    Captain Kirk’s been in the gym. “Goodbye, Jim!”

  5. Tom Noir Says:
    October 25th, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    I can’t tell from the pic if the ‘damsel’ is standing on something. If not, she’s a world class gymnast! Who is having an orgasm.

  6. drlemaster Says:
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    A faux-Conan story calls for a faux-Frazetta cover.

  7. Tat Wood Says:
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    http://images.alibris.com/imageid/2010113321.jpg I had a sniff around for a better image. Oddly enough, few if any of the second-hand dealers were prepared to share this. I did find images for a Tina Wallman, but they aren’t really the same thing.

  8. Yoss Says:
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    The rich blacks, the striking highlights…. This is reminiscent of the rare beauty usually only associated with velvet paintings.

  9. fred Says:
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    How many mighty Vantros are there that they need to be named by their profession?

  10. Jane Says:
    October 26th, 2012 at 1:13 am

    At first glance, I thought the cover said “Vantro the barbarian turns his thighly powers against the sinister Faeries”

  11. Lilah Says:
    October 27th, 2012 at 12:22 am

    The cover may be muddy-looking, but notice that they highlighted her breasts, clearly the most important element of the composition.

  12. A.R.Yngve Says:
    October 27th, 2012 at 12:47 am

    Hey, that barbarian looks kinda like… could it be… no, it couldn’t be..

    “IIII HAVVE THE POWWERRRRR!!!”
    [Duh-duh duhruh duh-duhruh duh-duh, HE-MAN!]

  13. Anti-Sceptic Says:
    November 5th, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    Sinister Faries?

  14. Green Says:
    November 12th, 2012 at 4:48 am

    True story:: my old college professor wrote this ‘masterpiece’. He was a single dad and needed to sell as much pulp fiction as possible to care for his son and himself. One of my favorite profs.

  15. FearofMusic Says:
    November 13th, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    Shirtless barbarian…check. Scantily clad princess(bikini!)…check.
    Monster…check. Wicked looking sword..check. Absolute cliche of a tag line…check. Quality artwork and talented writing…er,well.

  16. rev Says:
    January 19th, 2014 at 12:21 pm

    This book was pretty good. I read it at least a dozen times. It does have one or 2 sex scenes in it and I must have been 13?
    Yeah…totally bought it for the cover. It didn’t disappoint.

  17. Proteus454 Says:
    June 12th, 2015 at 2:59 pm

    *squints to read the text*

    Oh! I know this game. *starts to clap* “The sinister Fanes are silly Fanes, the sinister Fanes are stupid Fanes…”

  18. anon Says:
    June 12th, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    Vantro the barbarian? No wonder he started the ‘roids.

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:
    June 13th, 2015 at 8:53 pm

    Did you know that “Vantro” is Norwegian for “infidel”? Fact! Not made up!

  20. anon Says:
    March 15th, 2016 at 12:29 pm

    I should point out the cover says Jeffrey N. Wallmann.

  21. anon Says:
    March 16th, 2016 at 7:20 pm

    DARK TEETH
    Shiny vicar returning to his feast decrees a ban against interruptions. Priest bashes the Boshan swarm.

  22. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:
    March 20th, 2017 at 12:31 am

    Beyond the rim of flare-light
    My love is bored with sword-fight
    I know he’ll find in cephalopod thrashing
    Love, strange love (no hentai-bashing)
    His journey ends, I know sir,
    Death Trek post, Good Show Sir!
    But tell him while he wanders his inky sea
    He’d look good in this bikini!

  23. JJYoyo Says:
    January 11th, 2023 at 10:59 am

    The 25th reboot of Star Trek strayed a little too far from the source IP.

  24. GSS ex-noob Says:
    January 12th, 2023 at 3:37 am

    @JJYoyo: Yes, the show about Captain Kirk’s very distant ancestor really didn’t click with the Trekkies.

    I mean, they liked the scantily-clad damsels, and those of another persuasion liked the beefcake hero, but it was so lacking in spaceships. Even if he did call his horse “Enterprise”.

  25. Bruce Alexander Munro Says:
    January 12th, 2023 at 4:45 am

    The excessively logical elf was just sort of weird.

  26. Tor Mented Says:
    January 12th, 2023 at 12:05 pm

    If it’s set during the Roman Empire, he might encounter Tiberius.

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:
    January 13th, 2023 at 12:56 am

    GSS to Bruce and Tor!

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