Feb 01

Most aliens just don't appreciate a space suit with shoulder pads!Click for very slightly larger image

Sara Comments: It seems that this spaceman has crashed his (surprisingly intact) Z7F rocket on the planet of Floaty Corkscrew Mountain. I have to love his facial expression as he just stands there with his eyes squeezed shut and his feet planted, like he’s bracing himself for take three of, “the bit where I gettentacle-slapped by the angry insectoid-octopus-dragon.”
Published 1972

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.45 out of 10)

Tagged with:

30 Responses to “Ensign Flandry”

  1. Phil Says:

    Not the most flattering view of the alien. I’m sure s/he’s very attractive when seen from his/her good side.

    Odd to see a possessive credit for an author (except on those books where the famously-named person didn’t actually write it, but had it farmed out to someone with a much smaller reputation).

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    That’s an angle only a doctor should see.

  3. Rags Says:

    “Oh man i am so nervous, i cant wait to meet Sophia. Her online dating add said she was a tanned, long legged beauty with a butt that wont quit. This is the place and, WOAH, GOOD GOD ALL MIGHTY!!! FAKE ADD!! FAKE ADD!!!”

  4. Tom Noir Says:

    “Not in the face! Not in the face!”

  5. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Not surprisingly, ENSIGN FLANDERS is an anagram for FINNY DANGLERS.

    As well as:


    And, finally,

    FLING ENDS YARN…so it ends on a romantic twist then, eh?

  6. Phil Says:

    Poul Anderson’s ENSIGN FLANDERS… no, not interested.

    Poul Anderons’s FINNY DANGLERS… yes, pass me that book right now!

  7. fred Says:

    And he did all this derring-do while wearing pants 4 sizes too big.

  8. Pat Says:

    Does nobody else see that the alien and spaceman are boogying on down? The alien looks like it is cutting some seriously groovy shapes.

  9. FearofMusic Says:

    That is the most pigeon-toed alien EVER. Can’t imagine it moving too quickly. And with those lovely elevated hindparts I can’t imagine it’s balance being all that wonderful either. Lucky for it it is dealing with a poncey space cadet boy. Frankly Mr. Shankly, I don’t care who wins.

  10. typhonblue Says:

    Why… is the visual focal point the alien’s crotch?

  11. Jane Says:

    Intergalactice Horatio Hornblower
    Unpleasantly neurotic no matter what the galaxy.

    But why are we assuming that Ensign Flandry is the guy in the space suit?

  12. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Pat at #7: You’re right! They’re gettin’ down and funky to REAL THING:

  13. Tat Wood Says:

    @ Deadstuff: I can see why you thought it might be ‘Flanders’: it conjures up a nice image of ‘Hi diddly-ho, bug-eyed monsterino’. But it’s ‘Flandry’, which sounds like an adjective.
    What worries me is that the blurb tells us that all adventures after this one will be below-par. Given that it appears to consist of alien halitosis (so we’re getting a worse deal than the hero) this doesn’t bode well for the franchise.

  14. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tat: it seems I mistyped it on Good Show Sir; but I assure you, the anagrams are correct for “Flandry”.

    Though ‘Glen’s Sinner Fad’ is a pretty good one for ‘Ensign Flanders’. Hm.

  15. Adam Roberts Says:

    Ensign Flan Dry, Because nobody likes a wet flan. No siree.

  16. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    Unless the spaceman is preparing to give that monster it’s prostate exam, this is a very weird cover indeed.

  17. Muttley Says:

    It’s Josh Kirby. You’re lucky you can tell what anything is.

  18. Greg M. Says:

    “Who’s the white green suited Terran spaceman who’s a sex machine with all the…uh, whatever that thing is?”
    “You’re damn right!”

  19. Sophaloaf Says:

    An accurate visual portrayal of what it feels like after having bad take away.

  20. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    “Hey mister Spaceman. Can you pull this thing, that looks like a tower, out of my ass?”

  21. Anna T. Says:

    That alien lizard seems to be having some difficulty with its hind limbs.

  22. Tom Noir Says:

    I hate how they always use sex to sell these covers.

  23. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The day the “twerking” trend peaked.

  24. fred Says:

    I will has cheezburger,

  25. Bruce A Munro Says:

    He’s also fleeing the Fashion Police.

    Is that a building or a carnival ride in the background?

    (Also, a minor but nigh eternal irritation: that should be _intra_ – galactic Horatio Hornblower, since as far as I know, Flandry never leaves this galaxy.)

  26. B. Chiclitz Says:

    🎶 🎶 Up in Outer Space there’s adventure and danger
    That’s where you’ll find ensign Flan(-dry)
    The creatures he meets with are usually no stranger
    Than lizards with giant rear gams.

    He crashes his spaceships with gleeful abandon
    That’s our heroic old Flan(-dry)
    The covers he graces he barely can stand on
    I think he’s been drinking again!
    🎶 🎶

    (More or less sung to the tune of the legendary underwater puppet show of my youth
    Diver Dan)

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Okay, so there’s a break-dancing lizard, a fallen Hugo, a Crazy Straw (TM), and an astronaut action figure doing the Frug.

    Yes, it’s another “Cover From the Kids’ Toybox and Other Flotsam”!
    In this episode, “Alien Dance Party!”

    The guy in the spacesuit looks kinda wimpy for Flandry, who was less Hornblower and more 007.

    Background music:

  28. Bruce A Munro Says:

    It was a bold choice to tell much of the story from the perspective of the small bird that followed the monster around, eating the seeds out of its poop.

  29. NomadUK Says:

    The intrepid Spaceman Spiff sets his Atomic Napalm Neutralizer to ‘frappe’ and deals a fatal blast to the attacking Zorg!

  30. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: thank you for finally explaining the cover POV.

    @Nomad: well-spotted!

Leave a Reply