Apr 23

Sir, why did you give the war robot high heels? Storming the beaches tomorrow will be interesting...Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: The dame walked into my office wearing nothing but a pair of high heels and a V2 rocket. The expression on her face said she was about to go ballistic.
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)

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31 Responses to “Warsprite”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Wouldn’t she be better off with a handbag? Don’t warsp wrong, warsp rite.

  2. Phil Says:

    She and her device are highly polished professionals.

    Is there really no tag available for ‘phallic spaceship’?

    And Jefferson P. Swycaffer? Wasn’t that a Groucho Marx character?

  3. [email protected] Says:

    The Dreams Of Margaret Thatcher

  4. [email protected] Says:

    And may I add: BOOM!

  5. Phil Says:

    Swycaffer is no stranger to quality design. See his website, complete with cross-section-through-a-hard-boiled-egg background graphic:

  6. SI Says:

    Engineer: Look all I am saying… these design choices…

    Designer: BOOBS AND AFRO!

    Engineer: But it’s a robot why does it need those things?

    Designer: *giggles*

    Engineer: Oh…OHHHHH… oh….ewwww…

  7. Tom Noir Says:

    This one was a special request by David Cowie. I hope you’re happy sir, now that you’ve made me degrade myself by submitting this vile filth!

  8. JaunPaul Says:

    Next time the artist hears the word “chrome” he’s going to collapse in a heap on the floor, whimpering pitifully.

  9. FearofMusic Says:

    The Silver Surfer ended years of endless torment at the hands of his butch sister by remotely detonating her board.

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:


    ‘Well, that’s what you’ve got.’

  11. FearöfMusic Says:

    Actually the artist deserves points for not having her straddle the Chrome Nuclear Meagatonnic Dildo of Mass Destruction. The way she is standing, with it tossed up on a shoulder…

    “Man? Who needs a puny man when you’ve got one of these.”

  12. Tom Noir Says:

    Truth to tell, I think they cribbed this cover from the centerfold of Miss October in Playbot magazine.

  13. Herm Says:

    Unless it’s quite nose-heavy, it looks a bit unbalanced there…

  14. Jaouad Says:

    So this is what happens when Art actually mirrors Life — the Art in this case being either heavy lifting or lingerie design.

  15. David Cowie Says:

    @ Tom Noir #7: my work here is done.

  16. David Cowie Says:

    And another thing: does anyone else thank that there’s something questionable about the woman (or near equivalent) having a visible mouth but no visible eyes?

  17. fred Says:

    This makes me realize that a Metal Men movie might be a very good thing indeed.

  18. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Is she wearing spurs? I think she is. To goad the H-Bomb steed to ever-higher velocities? Aside from the spurs, though, I – I – think she’s *nekkid*!

  19. FearofMusiç Says:

    @David Cowie: Noticed the strange lack of eyes as well. But then suffered temporary blindness from chrome overload.

  20. Jaouad Says:

    Lack of eyes, yes, that’s probably why her reflection in the Dildo of Mass Destruction reminds me disconcertingly of Giger’s Alien.

  21. Tom Noir Says:

    “I have no eyes but I must gleam!”

    Or more accurately – “I have no eyes but I must burn out the retinas of everyone who looks at me!”

  22. Bibliomancer Says:

    “A screaming comes across MY EYES.” — Gravity’s Bimbo

  23. Tom Hering Says:

    “I only make love with giant robots. And I insist they wear one of these.”

  24. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Fart? Me? Nooo, it was my rocket. I swear!

  25. Tom Noir Says:


  26. JuanPaul Says:

    This is a great example of why, when buying a fem-bot, you should always go for the factory installed rocket launcher.

  27. anon Says:

    @SI: There’s a button and outlines of a slot on her crotch!

  28. Mikee Says:

    I can tell none of the people who commented above have read the book.

  29. Tag Wizard Says:

    Be nice, people. This is why we can’t make new friends.

  30. Bibliomancer Says:

    Hello Mikee …

    … do tell

  31. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Mikee—ssshhh! You’re giving away our big secret.

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