May 02

So.. that's how my bed sheets get covered in cat hair!Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: So I was drunk in this art gallery and this old wise man turns to me and says, “You know… the frame is probably worth more than the picture!” I was just like, “DUDE, you’ve just blown my mind.” Frames are expensive… we’ll make a fake one… I have an epic border to include. It’ll really round things off… I swear!
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.90 out of 10)

Tagged with:

19 Responses to “The Pretender”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    One of these three things is NOT a real were-bear. Let’s learn how we can find out.

  2. FearöfMusic Says:

    Yon werebears should perhaps cut back on the cigarettes and coffee and consider using a whitener. Or at least do the closed mouth smile thing for these group shots.

  3. Bibliomancer Says:

    Arms are hard to draw. Wrap her all up in gauze and throw in a pair of fuzzy bears to distract the buyer.

  4. L.B. Says:

    Gozer the Traveler called – he wants Vinz and Zuul back from their photo shoot.

  5. Adam Roberts Says:

    Why are the wear-bears’ mouths so orange? They look like they’ve been gorging on Monster Munch.

  6. B. Chiclitz Says:

    The were-bear to the viewer’s left either has a tail that stretches for miles around the mountain and toward the moon, or else has just been visited by an alien suppository spaceship. This latter option might account for the somewhat bemused look on his face.

  7. Tom Hering Says:

    The two sconced cats on the frame are looking like, “Not another beast master. Could humans with psi powers just leave us animals alone for a change? Please?

  8. Tom Noir Says:

    This girl is one sheet to the wind.

    She probably should have gotten a taxi after that last pub.

  9. Tom Noir Says:

    Hey, is this the same chick from A Vision of Beasts? I see them as ‘before’ and ‘after’ covers.

  10. Tom Hering Says:

    Tom Noir @ 9, I think it must be. Her Earth has more than one moon, too. One behind her, one to her right and illuminating the side of her face, and one in front of her and illuminating her wrap. So either we’ve acquired three moons and five suns, or something in the air of future Earth is bending light rays in weird ways, day and night.

  11. FearöfMusic Says:

    And that is NOT Chrissy Hynde. This girl has none of the sultry streetwise vibe. She’s more like ‘The Poseur’.

  12. JRDelirio Says:

    @Tom and Tom: That’s what I thought — she crossed the waters looking for something to put on…

  13. Phil Says:

    Were-Bear 1: Grrrr!
    Were-Bear 2: Arrrrr!

    Red-eye has long been a problem in flash photography, but I’ve never known it as an issue with paitings. Until now.

  14. THX 1138 Says:

    Ladies! Offset that kaftan with two ickle wickle bear cubs!

  15. Tom Hering Says:

    You know, that frame only serves to make the seven-word title text, author’s name, and Moorcock blurb look crowded. And the animals on the frame only lessen the impact of the animals in the painting. But I suppose the design helps Cooper fans to find all three similarly framed Chaos Gate books on store shelves – because finding things by alphabetical arrangement is just too hard.

  16. FeàröfMusic Says:

    @Tom Hering: Now you’ve gone and got me looking at all those word thingys. What a mess. Is Loiuse Cooper the Pretender? If so, is she pretnding to be Michael Moorcock? If that is the case, has she seen the covers to HIS books? You might want to pretend to be someone who isn’t chronically burdened with psychotic art directors ma’am.

  17. The Tag Wizard Says:

    Now there is a thread on the late Louise Cooper’s website where she discusses cover art with some of her readers. Rather similar to some of the conversations with authors in these here comments: sometimes the artwork is an excellent portrayal of the book’s characters and setting (no mean feat in sci-fi and fantasy circles), but at other times causes the author to wonder where on earth it came from.

  18. fred Says:

    Only one moon?
    The frame looks like something they would plant in one of the units on Storage Wars.

  19. Emster Says:

    “Sooo, just as I’m starting to nod off, all three dogs decide they ‘need to go outside’. It’s late, everyone is asleep by now, so I just wrap up in a bedsheet and take them out for one last pee.

    Unfortunately for me, all they really want to do is chase the neighbour’s cat, barking like they are trying to wake the dead. The nosey neighbours turn their porch lights on and I’m caught, trying to stay modestly covered while wrangling these monsters back into the house before the bylaw officer shows up. Great, just great…”

Leave a Reply