May 29
Click for full imageTom Hering Comments: From St. John to Krenkel to Frazetta to this. The most egregious example I’ve ever seen of a publisher using an amateur artist to save a little money.
Published 1977
(Average: 8.63 out of 10)
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Tom Hering Comments: From St. John to Krenkel to Frazetta to this. The most egregious example I’ve ever seen of a publisher using an amateur artist to save a little money.
Published 1977
(Average: 8.63 out of 10)Loading...
(9.27 out of 10) (9.21 out of 10) (9.03 out of 10) (9.01 out of 10) (9.01 out of 10) (8.97 out of 10) (8.97 out of 10) (8.97 out of 10) (8.95 out of 10) (8.93 out of 10)
May 29th, 2013 at 9:03 am
‘I give his performance FIVE…’
May 29th, 2013 at 9:42 am
Quite literally a story about the noble savage. Oops, SPOILERS!
May 29th, 2013 at 10:13 am
Don’t you just hate that one guy at rock concerts. Always drunk and acting like an ape.
May 29th, 2013 at 11:29 am
So it seems hover hands are no recent phenomenon.
May 29th, 2013 at 12:41 pm
He’s not bald. He just parts his hair in the middle. The way the woman does, but without the Farrah Fawcett flicks. Yeah, he’s striking a lame Travolta Saturday Night Fever pose. But hey, give him a break – it’s the ’70s.
He: Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m a woman’s man, no time to talk.
She: Somebody help me. Somebody help me, yeah.
He: Now it’s alright. It’s okay. And you may look the other way.
She: Ah, ha, ha, ha. Stayin’ alive. Stayin’ alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha – stayin’ alive!
May 29th, 2013 at 1:31 pm
If there were nekkid boobs in this, I think they would have had to change the rating system to go to eleven.
May 29th, 2013 at 1:45 pm
“CAPTAIN CAVEMAAAN!”
May 29th, 2013 at 1:50 pm
“I swear girl, if you don’t start behaving, I’m going to punch myself in the head until the rest of my hair falls out.”
Sample reasoning of a non-successful genetic line.
May 29th, 2013 at 2:01 pm
My left hand is my feel-coppin’ hand. It’s the steroids.
May 29th, 2013 at 2:11 pm
In a way, this cover’s ahead of its time, anticipating the Uncanny Valley of Poser and clipping problems by two decades.
May 29th, 2013 at 2:15 pm
Yipes! If this weren’t The Right Honorable GSS I might be wondering if this was a real cover. Wow.
Yeah. Wow.
That is, uh, really, REALLY poor work on balding cat whiskered baboon mouthed man. Don’t mess with him though. He’s a psychopath. Just look at him. His mouth is screaming fury, but his eyes are completely wihout emotion.
Grog Grak Grokluk, worlds first known serial killer.
May 29th, 2013 at 2:25 pm
The caveman must be upset from the bird poop on his head just as he was trying to make his move on his favorite gal.
May 29th, 2013 at 2:31 pm
Surprising baldness pattern on the Cave Brute. Bare forearms and chest but hairy knuckles? And he has cat-whiskers and an eyebrow combover! Still he reminds me of every boyfriend my ex-girlfriends left me for.
And speaking of Cave Girl, she’s no Frazetta woman. No need for a blocked view of the boob. Move along, there’s nothing to see here.
May 29th, 2013 at 2:55 pm
I’m guessing he’s about to give her an atomic noogie. The way the people of his tribe give each other atomic noogies till their hair is gone.
May 29th, 2013 at 3:11 pm
I am astonished and envious of the artist here. Not only did he/she draw this “visual feast†but had the nerve/gaul/BALLS to submit it to a publisher and (WTF) get it published on an Edgar Rice Burroughs book no less! This isn’t some self-published R. Stanek or Gloria Tesch monstrosity, its ERB!
I love the one flexing featherweight boxer arm and how it contrasts with the giant WWE wrestling arm. I also love the mouth which takes up 80% of the head area and the sleepy/drunk eyes! I also admire the strange hair placement (knuckles and legs only, chest and biceps clear!) The facial hair is undescribable.
It appears his right leg is propped up on something, perhaps a 24 case of Heineken? There is also a rash on his upper thigh, which would explain his rage and why he is going after his one and only wifey!!!
Zog: “Why me have rashy in the boom boom?? Also, where the fudge me rolex go??â€
Winona Ryder: “It’s not my fault, I had a bad childhood!!â€
May 29th, 2013 at 3:16 pm
Perfect teeth for an adult whatever it is. Must have good comprehensive health care. And access to manicurists.
May 29th, 2013 at 3:23 pm
If you think about it (and I have!) there’s basically no way that Mr. McFeelMe there could actually close his mouth. The lower jaw is way too long, the teeth are way too big, and his tongue would probably be permanently sticking out of his mouth. Of course given that his gropin’ arm is about three times the size of his muscle-man-pose arm he may have bigger problems than closing his mouth.
All this is good news for Miss Toothpick-Legs there. She should have no problem escaping this misshapen monstrosity.
May 29th, 2013 at 3:43 pm
I wonder how long Tandem Books kept their license after the folks at ERB Inc. got a look at this?
May 29th, 2013 at 5:32 pm
Some of the facial anomaly may be explained by the fact that this graphic was originally designed as an ad for Chapstick®. Didn’t get by the creative director, however.
“Me Zog Chapstick and this Suzy Chapstick. With this mouth, me get lip rash like you wouldn’t believe!”
“And then he expects me to kiss him? Puh-leeze! Gag me with the femur of a Hyracotherium!”
May 29th, 2013 at 8:07 pm
“Come back! When Grog say you feel him muscle, you feel him muscle!”
May 29th, 2013 at 8:30 pm
Inside every balding yet hairy man is a sabre-toothed tiger trying to get out. Via the mouth.
May 30th, 2013 at 7:29 pm
This scene seems to be reminicent of the movie There’s Something About Marie. Except here the girl knows the stuff on the caveman’s head is NOT gel…
May 30th, 2013 at 8:16 pm
Well you see, this was way back in the Stone Age… but now we’re civilized, and women can work any job without fear of rude cavemen, for example by serving in the milit… forget I said anything.
June 1st, 2013 at 8:40 pm
@JaniGrey Also, THIS. http://t.co/nSZTcYZ5Dq
June 2nd, 2013 at 5:45 am
Bad Adventures in Manscaping, RE: EVERYTHING
FFS, the facial hair makes him look like he’s part catfish.
June 2nd, 2013 at 12:45 pm
RT @GoodShowSir: New Book Cover: The Cave Girl http://t.co/SMDPIWQMO7
June 3rd, 2013 at 9:12 pm
THE CAVE GIRL
How I Became An Intern In Washington D.C. And Lived To Tell The Tale
June 8th, 2013 at 3:37 pm
Strange rating system. One minute it’s 54 votes and 9.21 out of 10, and the next minute it’s the same 54 votes but 9.15 out of 10. How does it work, exactly? Just curious.
February 2nd, 2018 at 10:34 am
Oh, we see you, Harvey!
February 2nd, 2018 at 12:13 pm
Sam Kinison as Unfrozen Comedian Caveman.
February 2nd, 2018 at 1:27 pm
So good to see this cover again. He’s still punching himself in the head and she’s still trying to escape. Only, thanks to the drift of history, they resemble the First Couple, except he’s in better shape.
February 2nd, 2018 at 2:28 pm
Five years later shows how inappropriate we now consider this type of male behavior. #timesup
February 2nd, 2018 at 3:01 pm
You’ve got it all wrong. She’s trying to run into a burning cave to salvage their brand new 80″ cave drawing. He’s saving her life.
February 2nd, 2018 at 4:21 pm
She has to suffer through this cover and she isn’t even the star of the book.
http://www.edgarriceburroughs.nl/Paperbacks/ace/f-258.jpg
February 2nd, 2018 at 4:28 pm
Look at their arms. They’re doing the swastika dance.
February 2nd, 2018 at 4:50 pm
@Fred: see, that’s why ‘After MASH’ didn’t work, they picked the wrong character arc for Charles.
February 2nd, 2018 at 10:42 pm
Drum pound in middle of night.
Cave dad say, “when you live cave life right?”
Cave dad, dear, you know you still number one.
But cave girl want to have fun.
Ug, cave girl just want to have fun.
February 3rd, 2018 at 1:30 am
@Tor: grunt of appreciation
@B. Chiclitz and @B’mancer: indeed, it’s quite prescient.
Also it amuses me that Flashback Friday is Groundhog Day.
February 3rd, 2018 at 10:27 pm
Welcome to a land so primitive even the Photoshop is crude and barbaric.
June 14th, 2021 at 3:27 pm
I assume this dreadful cover wasn’t made digitally (in 1977) – so what’s the artist’s technique? Is it a photo collage?
June 15th, 2021 at 1:16 am
@ARY: Colorforms? Rub-down graphics?
June 15th, 2021 at 1:26 am
@GSS ex-Noob: you may be on to something… http://www.action-transfers.com/html/promotional/foodgifts5_magicchimps.shtml
June 15th, 2021 at 12:08 pm
Rub-down graphics! A short-lived fad when I grew up, they were also called “Kalkitos”:
https://no.pinterest.com/kalkitos/
(The set “Hairy Cavemen Assault Terrified Cave Women” were quickly pulled from the market after parents made an outcry…)