Jun 04

I call this postion... the tripod... heyyooooooooooClick for full image

Phil Comments: I may be skewered and chained inside this crystalline tesseract, but at least I’ve got the TV for company. A shame it’s…pressing…down…on my…chest…
Published 2012

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.85 out of 10)

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50 Responses to “Brain Movies Volume 2”

  1. Gaff__Gaff Says:

    RT @GoodShowSir: New Book Cover: Brain Movies Vol 2

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    “It’s a great new innovation – just a pity all the shows are broadcast upside down.”

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    VIDEODROME 2: The DVD Strikes Back

  4. Tom Hering Says:

    Jewelry catalog. Pretty pastels. Belly telly. TV movies. Stomach brains. Chains. Bondage. Tight jeans. Kirk shirt. Male dancer. Pelvic thrusting. Whee! Boy toy. Bieber lookalike. Dangerless visions.

  5. Phil Says:

    @Tom Hering: you could have added the Ellisonian tag “Glass Teat”.

  6. Tom Hering Says:

    @ Phil, yeah, but then he’d clearly be in need of a bra, and my mind can’t handle images like that.

    Seinfeld. Moobs. Man bra. “The bro.”

  7. The Tag Wizard Says:

    @Tom Hering, fair point, we don’t have a ‘Whee!’ tag and I don’t see why not.
    Now to go through 900 terrible book covers for super-tagging fun. Whee!

    The other ones … who wants to contemplate a GSS where such tags are widespread?

    Also, worst ab-tanning sunroom ever.

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    Feet are so hard to draw. And are those mom jeans?

    The aspect ratio of this book cover bothers me. It’s not like any other hardcover, trade paperback or mass market paperback. Is this a children’s board book?

    Does Patton Oswalt’s introduction include a couple of pages of comedic mockery of Jill Bauman’s cover art?

    Yes, this cover is a whole steaming pile of WTF.

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ***SPAM*** New Program Helped Me Flatten My Stomach!!!!!

  10. Tom Hering Says:

    @ Bibliomancer, this is the second of four volumes of Ellison’s television scripts. I suppose the format allows for all those indented parts. Believe it or not, the publisher’s description ends, “And a beautiful new cover by World Fantasy Award-nominated artist Jill Bauman.”

    And I just discovered that Harlan Ellison® is, hilariously, a registered trademark.

  11. Tom Noir Says:

    What bizarre chain of events conspired to produce this cover?!?

  12. Tom Hering Says:

    @ The Tag Wizard, I agree it would prove unbearably disturbing if those others tags were used regularly. Only if absolutely necessary.

  13. Tom Noir Says:

    @Tag Wizard, someone mentioned elsewhere that we need an Orson tag for David Mattingly covers where we’ve spotted his fabled feline. There are at least three on this site and I’m sure more to come.

  14. The Tag Wizard Says:

    Bang on! I’ll strive to Orson the site up before our next visit from the I Can Haz talent scouts.

  15. Phil Says:

    @Bibliomancer, the book contains facsimile reproduction of screenplays and teleplays, so the page aspect ratio reflects the US Letter page aspect ratio since this is the paper size used for film scripts.

  16. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    He looks far too happy about the situation for it not to be sexual or drug-related. Is looking at the cover kind of uncomfortable because of the sense of voyeurism, or because it’s just so darn bad?

  17. Yoss Says:

    Damn typos. The title is actually Brian Movies.

    And smile all you like, Brian — I’m still not convinced that you’d get “better reception” if I would just help you take off your pants. It sounds like a trick.

  18. fred Says:

    The cover art to font ratio is ridiculously high. I propose an ‘anti-Baen’ tag for this type of cover.

  19. Jaouad® Says:

    Hah! My® brain movies are bigger and shinier than Harlan Ellison’s!

  20. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I guess this cover is explanation enough for why none of Ellison’s Steaming Pile of Bran Movies® ever made it to the screen, small or large.

    @B’Mancer—wasn’t the title of this script originally “The Aspect Ratio from Hell”?

  21. Bibliomancer Says:

    @B.Chiclitz — More like “Harlan Ellison’s Bowel Movies”, a.k.a. “I Have No Anus and I Must Scream”

    Hey Harlan, how’s that “Last Dangerous Visions” book coming along? Should I pre-order it on Amazon?

  22. Judges Books By Their Covers Says:

    My brain couldn’t accept that this cover was designed in 2012, so I was actually relived when I saw the date 1997 under Jill’s signature.

  23. Rags Says:

    Oh man you are all getting sued!!! H.E. throws around lawsuits like monkeys throw poo poo. 🙂

  24. Tom Hering Says:

    Huh. Seems Edgeworks Abbey was founded by Ellison® and his wife to publish Ellison’s® old and new works. Which makes it likely Ellison® commissioned and/or approved this cover. So, I guess everyone has their bad days. Authors … publishers … established but now self-publishing authors … everyone. And people who actually work as art directors, and are good at it, are worth their weight in gold.

  25. Dorian Says:

    Looks like someone got the covers for the SF book and the Business Studies textbook mixed up.

  26. Judges Books By Their Covers Says:


    Sorry. Relieved.

  27. The Tag Wizard Says:

    @B. Chiclitz As it turns out, there’s a Hugo winner and WGA winner contained within this compilation.

    The cover might not be to everyone’s taste, hence its presence here, but as Fred says, it’s an excellent counter-example of the Baen style!

    We were fortunate enough to receive a visit from Mr Ellison a few years ago ( In fact, the artist of our first Ellison cover also dropped in a couple of months back. Honorable times!

  28. THX 1138 Says:

    Mr Ellison may be currently the world’s angriest man, but I do love his writing, which can easily survive daft covers like this.

  29. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @ HE fans. All points conceded. All in good fun. Recycling one’s own work has a long and honorable history. Anyway if you check my remark you will see it was directed to the registered trademark “Harlan Ellison®,” not to the actual human being; poking fun at a commodity isn’t the same as teasing a person.

  30. The Tag Wizard Says:


  31. THX 1138 Says:

    @ B. Chiclitz: Don’t worry, I’m not the world’s angriest man, Harlan is. GSS is a place to be deeply silly, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

  32. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @THX 1138—oh dude I am all about the “deeply silly.” Just ask my perpetually annoyed friends. Dada now and forever! Thanks for understanding.

  33. Stevie T Says:

    The dark underbelly of Emerald City…

  34. A.R.Yngve Says:

    You mean he’s the Sub Of a Different Channel?
    (OK, OK, that one was too clever for its own good.)

  35. Tat Wood Says:

    So that’s the crystal tits – where’s Alistair?

  36. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    He’s so happy. He must be on crystal-meth 😛

  37. FeařofMusıç Says:

    I keep looking.
    I keep seeing the same thing.
    Disco porn.


  38. fhg Says:

    and he’s chained to a cannon

  39. The Tag Wizard Says:

    But of course he is. Cannon tag added.

  40. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    A half-nude lady with a chain round her wrists and armour on her nips? Done before.

    A half-nude gentleman with a chain round his wrists and the BBC on his nips? Good show, sir!

  41. Rev Says:

    I…ummm….what is that? Or why is that?
    Willing to accept the crystals and the gemstone vest and cannon. The douche-bag facial expression throws the whole thing off.

  42. Francis Boyle Says:

    Due to a terrible miscalculation of scale the Apple watch didn’t turn out to be as ergonomic as Jony Ive intended.

  43. THX 1138 Says:

    I think this would have been the tribute Harlan would have wanted.

  44. fred Says:

    Harlan probably has an anthology ready to go to print after his death. About all the possible things he could have done with his corpse and the future ramifications of each choice.

  45. JuanPaul Says:

    It looks like a cut scene from the Mike Nelson MST3K. Was it the bots or the mads that did this to him?

  46. Leak Says:

    Could’a been worse… could’a been Prince Robot’s father, from Saga…

  47. Tor Mented Says:

    @JuanPaul: Well, the bots did tie him up for the “can’t we just get beyond Thunderdome” joke.

  48. JuanPaul Says:

    @Tor I nearly cheered when they nailed that joke in the new series!

  49. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Harlan did always enjoy making people laugh. And here we are.

  50. Tor Mented Says:

    @JuanPaul: What ep was that in the new series? My recall for the reboot isn’t nearly so encyclopedic. (Google translate: encyclopaedic.)

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