Oct 08

Is that a gun or cake? Ah to hell with it... I'm going to shoot...Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: With a sinking heart, Brad realized their skin-tight glam-rock outfits would not be an effective disguise in the forest.
Published 2007

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.75 out of 10)

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31 Responses to “Bridgehead”

  1. Tat Wood Says:

    Seb Coe was thwarted by the alien’s trouser-evaporator

  2. Jaouad Says:

    Not sure Brad and Janet here are actually human. Their scaly blue legs appear to be attached seamlessly to shirt-wearing torsos. Also, his holster grows from his thigh. This explains why their proportions are vaguely off, as well.

    And that poor A doesn’t know whether it wants to be an A or an M.

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    As an aside…I see that GSS now has 100 pages of covers for our mocking pleasure! Congratulations to the hard-working GSS staff for making this possible!

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    … and the bored pterodactyl flies on by. Nothing here he hasn’t seen before.

  5. Tag Wizard Says:

    Cheers, Dead Stuff! Not long to go until Terrible Book Cover N° 1000. We have big plans* for when GSS hits that one!

    *no plans whatsoever

  6. GSS Admin Says:

    @Tag Wizard – What do you mean… we’re having that huge party… everyone’s invited…oh wait… expect you! 😛

  7. Bibliomancer Says:

    @GSS Admin — I was going to correct your “expect you” typo in your comment to Tag Wizard, but I just realized the Admin can go in and change anything after the fact so now this comment just looks stupid. Please delete me. See you at the Thousand Party!

  8. GSS Admin Says:

    @Bibliomancer – No No… I meant… expect you… as in… you are expected… *coughs*

    I’ll keep the typo there… to show off your superiority!

  9. L.B. Says:

    Brad and Janet have every reason to be scared – they reached Planet 80s, where even the Xylons wear shoulder pads!

  10. Michael Toland Says:

    What, exactly, is the multi-legged pink thing holding at crotch level? Did the humans interrupt it?

  11. FeârofMusïc Says:

    Dirk wears white socks, er, uhm, blue pants? No, no those aren’t pants. They’re obviously in the process of teleporting in. Or maybe out. Either way it seems to be a slow process. What are they using, a DSL uplink for their teleporter? They might want to upgrade, and skip the progressive scan, or at some point they’re likely to rematerialize missing some important bits, having had them bitten off or blown away.

    1000 covers, 20,000 snarky comments. Why, the sum total of snideness must be nearing critical mass! If care is not taken a runaway chain reaction could occur resulting in the creation of pure condensed sarcasm. Do we really want to be responsible for that kind of horror?

  12. THX 1138 Says:

    Antiques Roadshow X-Treme 3000! “Beep… You WILL tell me how much this is worth, Earthlings. IT’S BEEN IN THE FAMILY FOR YEARS.”

  13. Tom Hering Says:

    Brad and Janet are hiding in their big backyard because their neighbor, Mr. Glyb-Glyx, is bringing over another one of his wife’s casseroles. “Just kill him, Brad! Now! Please!”

  14. Jon Says:

    I always thought ‘bridgehead’ was one word. Unless they’re talking about….


  15. Katharine Coldiron Says:

    James Woods vs. The Shoulder-Pad Beast!

  16. Adam Roberts Says:

    ‘By the author of HAMMER’S SLAMMERS. Part one of the trilogy, also including SPANNER’S SLANNERS and SCREWDRIVER’S SLEWDRIVERS.’

  17. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    That horrid moment you realize it was a fancy dress party…

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Earthling! How much for David Bowie’s trousers? Name your price!”

  19. fred Says:

    Perspective with the tree behind the ant person is….interesting. I know he is probably just coming over the crest of a hill and the tree is in the distance, but it does look like the base of the tree is directly behind him.

  20. dpn Says:

    That awkward moment when you come across someone peeing in the woods.

  21. Lionrock Says:

    They shouldn’t be so worried. Ant-man only appears to have one eye, and it looks mighty inflamed. Probably from spending so much time skulking in the woods. Still, its lack of binocular vision should ensure its depth perception is hopeless, and given the lack of visibility from that helmet, so long as you keep out of its eyeline, happy days.

  22. AMartyn Says:

    Weird that Blobby is generally symmetrical, except in the leg department. Also, is its suit just the same colour as its flesh, is its body actually made of rectangular data panels or is it just entirely covered in a pink vinyl coating?

    Maybe this is a planet where your clothes are bound to consume your body, and that’s what’s happening to the duo on the left.

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    That’s the Throne of Yord from Shamanic Princess. But don’t look it up unless you want to lose 1d10 Sanity and gain +1 Cthulhu Mythos points.

  24. Rags Says:

    A.R.Yngve = LOL!!!!

    That alien creature is just a mish-mash of random Earth creatures. I see ant, crabs, linebacker, robots, cylons and a walnut being opened.

    Clive Owen and a young Kristie Alley are rocking the disco jeans tho, LOVE IT!!

  25. Jeff Vader Says:

    Not many people know this, but it takes a tremenduos amount of force to jam a pterodactyl feet-first into a redwood tree.

  26. Smooth Operator Says:

    Are those space pants they’re wearing?

  27. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Well, their pants certainly seem to be “out there”… ;-P

    But… should we automatically assume that events on a skiffy-book cover must take place outside Earth? They might be trekking through a Californian suburb, you can meet all kinds of weirdos there…

  28. Ernest The Yak Says:

    Wow and I thought Tweaky from Buck Rogers had a bad case of head-shaped-like-a-knob syndrome……..

  29. anon Says:

    Dick-in-a-box, amiright?

  30. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Sly fellow, Brad. They’re beaming back to the ship…but he slipped the teleport engineer a tenner to not teleport the top button on her blouse.

    It’ll take him a week’s wages to beam her back without her trousers next.

  31. JuanPaul Says:

    This cover has a two legged, two armed, one eyed alien, a pterodactyl, giant trees, and yet the most fascinating thing are these people’s pants.

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