Oct 09

No... No... this can't be... he has the same bowl hair cut!!Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth Comments: Unable to nail Soapman to his chair, Throckmorton suspended him next to his brother in a tube of mineral oil.
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.79 out of 10)

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23 Responses to “Future Imperfect”

  1. Tat Wood Says:

    ‘They mocked me,’ cackled Chris de Burgh, ‘but when my clone army strikes my chart triumph will be assured!’

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    The eternal conundrum: what does he have in his hand and where is he going to put it?

  3. Lionrock Says:

    “In his prime Laumer could nail you to your reader’s armchair”

    Quote goes on:

    “Sadly, Laumer hit his prime some years ago and has been in steady decline ever since. Expect to be mildly stuck to your have-some-time-to-kill-waiting-for-the-gas man armchair.”

  4. Lionrock Says:

    Star Fleet had worked out how to deal with the Red Shirt staffing difficulties on the Enterprise.

  5. Tom Hering Says:

    It was 2003, and someone should have told the artist he wasn’t limited to 16-color mode anymore.

  6. FeärofMusïc Says:

    So Laumer wrote cheesy vampire fiction too? ‘Cos that creepy dude in the red, he don’ t cast no shadow, man. And I made the mistake of taking a closer look at his face. He seems pretty vacant(and he don’t care). What is this guy, like a high-tech Jeffrey Dahmer?
    You know, if they think I’m gonna wanna read this with a cover… wait! Eric Flint! Baen? Oh, how can anyone resist?

  7. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Judging by the review quote, Keith Laumer was a member of the Piranha Brothers’ gang.

    “So this bloke Keith came to me house and said: ‘Dimbley, you’ve been a naughty boy,’ then he took a hammer and nailed me to me reader’s chair… I bled all over his suit, and then he really got mad…”

  8. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Any moment now, that short dude starts singing “To dream… the impossible dream…”

    So much for pathos!

  9. fred Says:

    Looks like either a rejected cover for a Robin Cook medical thriller or a poster for Back To The Future IV.

  10. Phil Says:

    My reader’s armchair? I don’t have a reader. If I did, he wouldn’t be too pleased to find that I had been nailed to his armchair.

    If, indeed, he had an armchair.

  11. Ae7flux Says:

    “In his prime Keith Laumer was just another common or garden murderous psychopath. However things turned nasty when he started to write for Baen.”

  12. Bibliomancer Says:

    Another ghastly Baen cover. Is there no end?

    As Diderot would say: “Sci-fi readers will not be free until the last Baen writer has been strangled with the entrails of the last Baen cover artist.”

    Now, have a happy day! 🙂

  13. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I get it — he’s a hypnotist:

  14. Rags Says:

    “Glen, come on out of there, you are being a drama queen. Everyone has to get the colon check done, its mandatory!”

  15. HappyBookwyrm Says:

    This work is by KEITH LAUMER according to the giant caps on the top…so why does it need to be “complied and edited” by Eric Flint? Is it a book of short stories? If so, I wonder what other stories could have been chosen for the cover besides the one about floaty-glowy-people in cylinders. It can’t be liquid in those tubes or the hair on the men would presumably be floating around like Luke Skywalker’s in bacta healing solution. I’m not going to lie, though. I am intrigued by this Baen…

  16. JRDelirio Says:

    “I took the liberty of examining this reader, and found thet the only reason he was sitting in his armchair with this book, was because it had been nailed there.”

  17. SI Says:

    @Phil – I have this great view of you with your man servant.

    Man servant: And what would sir like to be read today?
    Phil: well… How about something we can really nail ourselves to… A vintage Laumer?
    Man Servant: Good Show Sir.

  18. hestia Says:

    No color blend title, Baen? Don’t listen to the people who tell you to stop — don’t ever stop being you.

  19. Stevie T Says:

    I love the cut-and-paste look to this cover. It’s like Baen was saying to the prospective reader, “We didn’t care, why should you?”

  20. Tom Noir Says:

    This cover. Wow.

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Have you noticed that it is now 2014 AD… and not a single human being has been put in a giant transparent vat yet?? Not one!!

    That’s one “prediction” that needs to be sealed in a vat and buried…

  22. Tom Noir Says:

    @ARYngve: Hey now! I’ll have you know that I’m typing this from a transparent vat RIGHT NOW.

    I do wish my original would stop standing in front of my vat, arms outstretched, leering at me. It’s just creepy.

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @AR: in hindsight, the trade-off was that we lost out on vats and got Steam instead.

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